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ronkie

@gorpis9.bsky.social
774 followers 191 following 478 posts

every day i am beset on all sides

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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 19/11/2025
if they're cold, you're cold. YOU'VE GOT TO TRY TO RESIST THE MENTAL LINK
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 17/11/2025
all bathroom stalls should feature swinging saloon style double doors
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 16/11/2025
i think it's really interesting when my dog sniffs a poop but doesn't mark on it. what was wrong with that one bud
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 13/11/2025
keurigs always feel like they're really straining to shit out your coffee
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 12/11/2025
the thing about autozone is like, they are right. it is in the zone
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 06/11/2025
when they finally do a biopic on dj trump, they should start in media res as opposed to an origin story. he shouldn't have to "earn" the diaper for instance
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 30/10/2025
the pen is mightier than the sword, but def not the pensword. pretty much nothing beats that one i guess
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 07/10/2025
baby catchers mitt for sale super worn in
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 06/10/2025
A man goes to a doctor, saying he is depressed. He feels like the world is harsh and cruel, and he feels all alone. The doctor replies, "The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him—that should cheer you up!" The man says "oh ok sounds cool"
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 16/09/2025
not all heroes wear capes.. some have food allergies too :)
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 12/09/2025
monk who does flips as penance
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 06/09/2025
you ever watch a UFC fight & think “this wouldn’t even happen if they were all poly”
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 04/09/2025
WHEN WE DECONSTRUCT GOOFUS' FLIMSY NARRATIVE PURPOSE, WE EXPOSE OUR OWN LACK OF PURPOSE
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 31/08/2025
elon masc. is this anything
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 28/08/2025
Time with a Boy Machine
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 27/08/2025
im worried that my life is just one sad footnote in the extended Friends universe
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 26/08/2025
the revised pro tiers for sex are out & it’s not looking good
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 24/11/2024
beep beep! who got the keys to the jeep? "i'm not sure." i look up, tears in my eyes. "i-i don't know"
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 23/08/2025
latke would be a wonderful name for a whelp or perhaps scamp
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 23/08/2025
look, you can’t just “build" a bear
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 23/08/2025
what is an egg? a miserable pile of secrets
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 23/08/2025
hiking the appalachian trail .. thinking about leaving a trace later 😏
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 22/08/2025
im the grin reaper :)
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 19/08/2025
do you guys think this makes you more or less likely to get stabbed
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 18/08/2025
‪sorry, milfs unionized‬
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 18/08/2025
EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. IT’S THE PHENOMENOLOGY OF SPIRIT AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, HEGEL
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 12/08/2025
if a chicken can be a pet an egg can be a pet
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 11/08/2025
Portrait of the Artist as a Baby
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Sam Thielmonster @samthielman.com · 10/08/2025
It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday The unholy thing shambles in He’s too big for the chair sitting next to me And he makes an unbearable din Sing us a song, you’re the piano man Your skin is a wooden facade You’ve brass pedals for hands And your hair’s copper strands Give unbearable insult to god
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 10/08/2025
everyone's always all cool at the party until it turns into a milk party. then it's "oh i don't drink milk like that" dude fuck you
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 09/08/2025
my dad is so smug now that he's in the bible
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 08/08/2025
an enemy of my enemy is my wife
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Evil Kitten @veryevilkitten.bsky.social · 07/08/2025
someone painted the sign to say lets raise road speed 

drive evil

bottom left corner evil kitten
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krat @kwholesaler.bsky.social · 07/08/2025
THINGS YOU MAY LOSE WHEN YOU SOLVE THE LAMENT CONFIGURATION CHURCHY GUY IN PASTEL POLO: Foreskin CENOBITE STEVE HARVEY: (exaggerated shrug directly at camera) Gotta start somewhere!
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It's Pipes, Mum! Pipes is here! @scriblit.bsky.social · 07/08/2025
Patient, sobbing: But Doctor, I AM Pagliacci! ChatGPT: Apologies. I didn't realise when recommending Pagliacci's epic show to cure your depression that you were the genius himself. I'm impressed! With regards to your initial question, I can recommend seeing the Great Clown Pagliacci.
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 07/08/2025
the city that never sleeps is also the city that's technically always shitting
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 05/08/2025
who's gonna fuck the earth when we're gone...
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 03/08/2025
when i published The Dog with the Human Dick, it was considered “garbage.” now, it’s more poignant than ever
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 02/08/2025
boys aren't even a problem if you take their magic amulet
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 01/08/2025
the corn out here is relaxing as hell... and friendly :)
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 01/08/2025
we slap the bags we think we deserve
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 31/07/2025
So You've Decided to Self-Flagellate to the Beach Boys: A Beginner's Guide
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 31/07/2025
*plays a solemn church bell... but in a rly friendly way* hey :)
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 29/07/2025
you ever just do a back flip out of desperation
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 29/07/2025
the Fucking fandom is a mess :/
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 25/07/2025
Bring Yr Child to Justice Day
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ronkie @gorpis9.bsky.social · 23/07/2025
sure you've heard of horse dewormers, but what about their counterparts: horse wormers
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Tyler, from the Internet @tylerfromtheinternet.com · 23/07/2025
The Rugrats title card but it says law& order special victims unit
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