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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️

@glaiveguisarme.com
306 followers 109 following 1.6K posts

Larabella Paige Turner, the original Glaive-Guisarmier. Library worker, hot mom, LGBTQTπ, semi-retired RPG dev, 'tism rizz out the wazoo. She/her. pfp by @rosalarian.bsky.social

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Reposted by LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️
Weird Alex @jackalpants.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Redid the background for As It Ever Was to make it a bit more eye-catching
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 27/09/2026
MMORPG night at the club, and I went with “sexy necromancer.” I danced a ton and did a bunch of quests (read: a list of little tasks to do, like “drink a glass of water” or “join a group dance”) to earn enough XP to get a plushie (my new familiar, Selene).
Lara in a bodice, black robe, and dark tights. She’s covered in necromancer tat: a skull bag, yanking bones, a bunch of eclectic necklaces. Lara, same outfit but with a stuffed moth.
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 26/09/2026
At last, my true calling has been revealed.
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Reposted by LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️
Weird Alex @jackalpants.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 21/09/2026
Pharmacy: Your Progesterone refill is ready Me: Already?! I have so much still! Why does every other Rx have me scrape by on fumes before a refill but prog ends up backlogged? Also me: [Forgets to take her Progesterone for the third night in a row.]
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 20/09/2026
Hail Mary, full of grace, Alice is Missing without a trace.
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 20/09/2026
I want to tell a joke about political wrangling among vampire clans in a modern setting, but I don’t know any, so I’m going to laboriously alter my Dungeons and Dragons joke to kind of work for that purpose.
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 16/09/2026
Spent several hours miserable today because I woke up at 2 and couldn’t get back to sleep. Utterly, even scarily miserable. Then I forced myself to get dressed up a little nicer than I normally would, and you know what? I feel better. Tired, but like myself again. I am, at heart, a simple girl.
Lara, wearing a bodycon green dress and black shrug, posing.
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 15/09/2026
Something like this? It's not going to top the original guisarme in my book, but I will concede that Little Death wields a nice spear.
Modified version of the trans war flag by @jackalpants.bsky.social . Square, with deep blue in the bottom left, warm pink in the top right, and a thick band of white separating the colors that runs from the top left to the bottom right.

From bottom left to top right is a black icon of a double-headed spear (rather than the original Italian bill-style guisarme).
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 14/09/2026
Never pass up an opportunity to dress up like a sexy forest witch.
Lara in a black dress, grey cloak, and purple boots.
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 14/09/2026
Insurance is trying to deny the anesthesia during my surgery; they appear to be deciding that because the claim mentions my BMI (presumably to justify the levels of anesthesia used?) then it is a not-covered "weight loss procedure." Ah, navigating the American medical system while fat.
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 14/09/2026
Repeat after me: I'm hot and everyone wants me. 😘💗
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 13/09/2026
[Guy who is woefully uninformed about queerness but is trying to have a conversation with a lesbian triad he just met] "So, uh... which two of you are the men in the relationship?"
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 11/09/2026
🎶 We built this city!🎶 🎶 We built this city on third wave ska! 🎶
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 05/09/2026
The first time I read this I somehow overlooked the label on the factory, and came to the conclusion that Homestuck was intended to save the entire American economy. And I was like yeah, that makes sense.
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 24/08/2026
I thought that Lesbian Space Princess was really good, actually. I get how someone can disagree. It's weird, awkward, offputting. But there's no good-faith way to call it transphobic. That's Tumblr-brained bullshit from folks eager to dogpile. Sick of social media. Logging off for a few weeks.
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 19/08/2026
So I’ve been dilating regularly for about a month now and I usually do a crossword puzzle on my phone because, like, gotta do something for 20 minutes. Anyway I do worry that I’m going to develop some sort of psychosexual fixation on EPEEs.
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 17/08/2026
So, among the many things I‘ve been doing whilst I recover is jewelry making, as evidenced by these earrings hand-made out of two of the dozens of Lego brick-separators I have kicking around.
Lara, selfie, wearing earrings made of chunky orange plastic.
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 17/08/2026
Obviously it’s Very Funny when TERFs misunderstand a before and after photo and shout “you’ll always be a man” at a trans dude. But like. Can they not recognize which photo is happy? I’m autistic, I’m not great at facial expressions, but I can tell a glassy-eyed pretend smile from a real one.
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 15/08/2026
Time traveler who did not study very hard in their American Slang of the 20th and 21st Centuries class: “Uh… six seven skidoo?”
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 02/08/2026
Blåhaj’s second tattoo: balloons! As you doubtlessly intuit, these are the underwater analogue to a sailor’s anchor tattoo. Colors chosen completely at random, obvi. No meaning there.
A stuffed shark with embroidered balloons (dark pink, light pink, white, light orange, and dark orange) on her tail.
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Reposted by LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️
Master Appalachia: Undefeated of the South East @wilagames.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
If a vampire pays their taxes they don't actually need to be invited into the public library. The library belongs to all tax payers. Librarians would argue that the library belongs to anybody even people that don't pay taxes, but librarians don't make the vampire rules and they know it.
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 27/07/2026
Celebrating the love between a girl and her shark by giving Blåhaj an embroidered tattoo of my initial, just like I have a tattoo of her. Embroidering is pretty cool, so I suspect that this isn’t the end of tattoos. For either of us.
Lara posing with a stuffed shark. Lara has a tattoo of a plush blue shark on her arm, and the shark has a cursive L in a pink heart embroidered on its fin.
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 26/07/2026
Thinking about doing a revised and updated edition of “Penis 2.0.77,” as the genital customization tables failed to account for the look I am currently sporting, which is best described as “The Bride of Frankenstein.”
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 25/07/2026
99.1% Weird, Fucked-Up Saline.
Plastic bottle with clear liquid, labeled “0.9% Normal Saline.”
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 23/07/2026
Okay so we doing trans girl Pokémon types now. I invite everyone to propose my typing (with a palpable sense of dread because I know @estuarywitch.bsky.social is out there ready to call me a Slut/Puppy or Puppy/Slut, whichever is worse, neither of which, I am certain, truly encompasses my nature.)
A pokemon style type chart that lists the following:

knight sister bug slime alien puppy princess deer snake lizard kitty fairy rat horror handler robot dragon goddess mommy fish maid doll demon bunny pirate vampire gamer angel fox spider brat bird nerd pool toy elf little were- goth plant slut clown plushy witch horse cow
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 22/07/2026
I wonder if dilation is the thing that gets me back into podcasts. … listening to them, not making them. Although…? Twenty minute free-form pod exclusively hosted by post-op dolls where every episode begins with the host saying “Just a second, I gotta—oh! There we go! Okay! Okay, hello everyone…”
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 21/07/2026
I have been given my discharge papers! I am going home! Consider this bottom: surgeried.
Lara in a car, smiling kinda manic, hugging a stuffed shark.
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Reposted by LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️
Amber Piona @geekydancer.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
I finished my quilt! I actually finished it a while ago, and then -immediately- put it to use. It is, as I hoped, the perfect weight for summer.
A completed quilt on a full sized bed. The quilt is made of hour glass shaped blocks with narrow deep teal sashing. The fabrics are pale green and teal solids and these reproduction william morris organic prints recolored in wild pinks, greens, and blues. This is a view of the quilt from the perspective of someone in bed with it. It's the same quilt from before, but you can see the tent of my legs, and also a pale green bedroom wall across from the bed. There are bookshelves and also a floor fan sitting on an office chair pointed back at the bed. The lighting implies it is nighttime. It looks cozy.
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 18/07/2026
It was nice of the Kickstarter campaign for a really cool-looking pen to have an obvious AI slop campaign video. Easiest hundred bucks I ever saved.
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 18/07/2026
Just to be clear: if I don’t make it out of the hospital, it’s not because of surgical complications or pneumonia, it’s because I got so bored I decided to eat my own face. (I know, I know, bored is the best way to be in the hospital when alternatives include “terrified” or “in agony”. But still!)
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 17/07/2026
The thing about an extended stay in the hospital is that intellectually I understand that bodies are natural and requiring assistance is valid but gosh do I have to confront my internalized ableism every time I choose between asking for the bedpan or just… holding it in until I get home.
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Reposted by LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️
LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 16/07/2026
Me: So I have a thing for girls doing pet play, and it’s especially hot if I am sorta in the dominant role, but you’re still intense and domineering. a catgirl, her eyes enormous: you KINK Miette? you make her kinky like the foot? oh! oh! jail for mommy! jail for mommy for One Thousand Years!!!!
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 16/07/2026
Me: So I have a thing for girls doing pet play, and it’s especially hot if I am sorta in the dominant role, but you’re still intense and domineering. a catgirl, her eyes enormous: you KINK Miette? you make her kinky like the foot? oh! oh! jail for mommy! jail for mommy for One Thousand Years!!!!
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 15/07/2026
Okay well now I’m bored and greasy and still in the hospital, which is frankly, some bullshit.
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 14/07/2026
Good morning friends! Damn, I good for a dame who got chopped last night. Anyway I am sore and sleepy and stuck in bed for a week but all is well. I did the thing.
Lara in a hospital bed
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Reposted by LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️
Loose Leaf Queer @genderqueerwolf.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
IT IS...TIME.... For the Queer Winter Poetry of 2026. YOU identify on the queer spectrum, want to receive a typewriter-written poem in December-ish of 2026, and have been waiting all year to sign up. #QueerlyBeloved The Link: forms.gle/KeMPu6bYyWqu...
forms.gle
Queer Poetry in Winter Signup! (December Unnamed)
A signup sheet to receive one snail mailed typewritten original poem from @Genderqueerwolf in December, 2026 You can find more at Support GenderQueerWolf ❤️ FAQ: Am I queer enough? Do you self-ident...
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 13/07/2026
OH FUCK Y’ALL TODAY’S THE DAY
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 11/07/2026
Check in time is noon on Monday.
Dawn of the second day
48 hour remain.
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 10/07/2026
Some “Lara’s pee” news for the freaks out there: if all goes according to plan, this gender-neutral Cap Hill bathroom features the last urinal I shall ever use!
Lara pointing at a urinal in a modern public bathroom.
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 04/07/2026
I was about to have a sensory-overwhelm shutdown at the grocery store when I suddenly remembered that I had noise-cancelling earbuds. That's right, ya girl actually Used Her Accessibility Tool, and frankly, I think I deserve a little treat. (In addition to, uh, not having a full-on shutdown, obvi.)
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 04/07/2026
I like to think of myself as a sex-positive, unashamed kind of dame, but walking up to the cashier with an armful of laxatives, an enema bag, lubricant, and a foam ring cushion, I felt the deep urge to yell out "this is for surgical prep, I'm not going to have any fun with any of this!"
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 01/07/2026
Apropos of nothing in particular: having been a huge Potter fan in the past is ALSO a red flag. Like, even if you disavow it all now, the latent fash attitudes were always there. It was always a corporate-pushed IP. The writing got astonishingly lazy as they went on. You always deserved better.
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 30/06/2026
Okay so. If I'm watching a YouTube video on my computer, and I pause it, then when I unpause, there is no sound. The tab says it's making sound, but there is none. I need to refresh the page for there to be sound again. Why is... this thing?
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 29/06/2026
Two weeks.
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 27/06/2026
So, are we all agreed that Gangle attempted suicide right before being put in the Amazing Digital Circus? Like. Her “accident.” With the truck. Was no accident. It seems obvious, to me. But so did Jax’s thing, and gods know the media literacy of TADC fans has been brought into question this month.
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 27/06/2026
So anyway I bought a car today, and also a man was secretly living in the emergency exit stairwell of my workplace's garage, and also I'm getting lifechanging surgery in two and a half weeks. If you want to know how I'm doing, it's... complicated.
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Weird Alex @jackalpants.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
I made this useful chart so you can see how the female genders are applied! Such a special culture Of particular interest is that trans women in the Western world are not permitted to transition to either Virgin or Mother- only Whore or Crone, the valueless genders! Fascinating
A political compass with the vertical axis going from Valuable Property to Worthless Parasite, and the horizontal axis from Sexually Desirable to Sexually Repellent.

The quadrants are labelled clockwose from top left:

VIRGIN: Valuable Property and Sexually Desirable
MOTHER: Valuable Property and Sexually Repellent 
CRONE: Worthloess Parasite and Sexually Repellent 
WHORE: Worthless Parasite and Sexually Desirable
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LaraBela Lugosi 🧛‍♀️ @glaiveguisarme.com · 26/06/2026
Some days we define victory as making things easier for your future self. Some days we define victory as simply making it to the end of the day. Today I am defining victory as “not hauling off and punching someone at my place of work,” and frankly, victory is not as likely as would prefer.
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