Reposted by Michael Scally
Not-so-coincidentally, a common bit of Medieval post-mortem character assassination was asserting that the dead person, usually royalty or a religious authority, burst while lying in state, spilling their entrails on the church floor, where they were usually "devoured by dogs" for dramatic flourish.
![“Also, I haven’t been to the gym in so long I didn’t know women just dress like whores now?” he cracked to groans from the in-studio audience. “Look, I’m sorry, there’s no other way to describe [it]. Have you seen it? I’ve seen it. You’ve seen the shorts? They’re those neon, like, artificial vape-colored [shorts], and the wrinkles go around the cheeks and all combine at the butthole. And don’t look! You’re not allowed to look. For real, don’t look, because they are filming. I’m in the background of ten TikToks right now [grinning].”
There was more, of course. Gillis riffed on his “two big, fat-bitch sisters” who would heckle him by saying “the meanest things,” like calling him “bitch hips,” and poked fun at how his receding hairline is starting to make him resemble a certain fascist leader.
“I’ll tell you the thing that I’m really bothered by is: I’ve balded directly into an Adolf Hitler haircut,” he joked. “And it’s not good. Because I give a lot of speeches and the front falls down a lot, and there’s no way to adjust it without looking exactly like [Hitler]. It’s the only way. I’m not going to [brush it to the side], that’s gay. That’s it: You’re either gay or you’re Hitler, and isn’t that where we’re at as a country?” There were few laughs, and then it abruptly ended. Gillis has shown considerable comedy chops in his stand-up specials and hosting the ESPYs, but nailing an “SNL” monologue seems to be elusive for him.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:rsmvofjgye637n75ie7uxtvs/bafkreic64zhxrrivtks2ahvfsyxjr3xarrn3s5km3vn2xvjqya5w5r2smy)
