fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 21/07/2026I've found my reply to Michael Spicer: 1111
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 16/07/2026Life lessons from Ian Fiveankles. . . 86818
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 16/07/2026I did answer this post by Michael Spicer with a "what if football pundits spoke like art historians". . .I'll dig it out and repost it. 150
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 11/06/2026Everything you can expect from the World Cup Opening Ceremony. Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): uppbeat.io/t/benjamin-b... License code: JVYDUZB9GVWKNVC5 98026
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 09/06/2026More nations than ever are taking part in this world cup, and it's going to be hot as balls. 2517
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 22/04/2026Trying to impress Denise, though not sure I've quite chosen the right song. . . . 1230
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 14/04/2026Taken from "The Ian Fiveankles Show". . . 0152
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 07/04/2026The latter stages of the Champions' League, so naturally everyone is talking about Manchester United. Taken from "The Ian Fiveankles Show" 36119
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 01/04/2026"If Somalia bought Fulham, I'd forgive them all the piracy, I really would." 79017
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 30/03/2026I've played this with the theme music from "Titanic" and I'm not ashamed to admit it's had me welling up. 110
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 30/03/2026I have thrown a couple of hats into the ring, for sure. 000
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 30/03/2026Thanks mate. I think we've got it, but what would a helping hand look like if we needed it? 220
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 26/03/2026Very pleased to be back in the Stak studios for the coming soon "Ian Fiveankles Show". . . 2224
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 18/03/2026Insights from Steve "Bouldy" Bould as to why Arsenal are so hated right now. With unbiased interview from yours truly. 44511
Reposted by @fiveankles.bsky.socialThe Exploding Heads @explodingheads.bsky.social · 13/03/2026"The War in Iran was started by WOKES!" Colin from Portsmouth says that the war is a ruse by carbon neutral lobbyists to put up the price of oil so we all start investing in green energy. 16281126
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 06/03/2026My word, I've seen everything now. . . 010
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 06/03/2026Good to see the President consulting Luis Suárez on the Middle East. He'll get his teeth into this, for sure. 3101
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 13/02/2026Thank you, we miss not doing it though very excited to reveal we have been back in the studio recording something new which should be unveiled in the next few weeks. 130
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 13/02/2026If football was a foreign exchange programme from the 1980s. 1120
Reposted by @fiveankles.bsky.socialThe Exploding Heads @explodingheads.bsky.social · 05/02/2026"I'm shocked, Anthony! Peter Mandelson and Prince Andrew seemed like such stand up, decent blokes!" Colin from Portsmouth can't believe the Epstein findings. 15353114
Reposted by @fiveankles.bsky.socialThe Exploding Heads @explodingheads.bsky.social · 04/02/2026POV Abraham Lincoln invites you to the theatre. 615134
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 09/01/2026Heavy sighs, repressed emotions, and, erm, penalty decisions. . . 0120
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 09/01/2026If the history of life on earth is condensed into a single day, then humans did not appear until 11:59pm and 59 seconds, so one second before midnight. And if you look closely you can see James Milner coming on for his first Premier League appearance.media.tenor.coma man with a beard is wearing a blue shirt that says brighton unitedALT: a man with a beard is wearing a blue shirt that says brighton united 0191
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 13/11/2025We actuallly did a similar thing in my day, but with oven-ready chickens. 040
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 11/11/2025When I went back to Derby County, I booed myself in my own face. 1190
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 29/10/2025In advance of a live appearance this evening in Bethnal Green (tickets here: backyardcomedyclub.co.uk/event/link/?...) I am reminded of another speaking engagement a few years ago: 3272
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 21/10/2025Dishing the dirt. On myself. #Fiveankles #PrincessAnne #Football 1242
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 24/09/20253. Booked once in the second half whilst one-nil up for Burton Albion for taking eight minutes to tie my boot lace, then shown a second yellow after asking the fourth official to help me fill in a tax return on the halfway line to properly “slow things down.”media.tenor.coma referee wearing a green shirt with the word fifa on it .ALT: a referee wearing a green shirt with the word fifa on it . 1111
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 24/09/20252. Sent off playing for Leyton Orient for “unsporting behaviour” after insisting on playing the second half under one of those golfing umbrella hats. Because it was drizzling and I’d just had my barnet done. 2131
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 24/09/2025I have sympathy for Ekitike. Here are three of my sendings off when I should have known better: 🧵 1. Scoring a tap-in for Stockport County and then attempting to celebrate by re-enacting the entire opening credits of Baywatch across the length of the pitch.media.tenor.coma silhouette of a man standing on a beach with the word bay in the foregroundALT: a silhouette of a man standing on a beach with the word bay in the foreground 1151
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 11/09/2025I once got sent off for time-wasting while taking a throw-in. The ball boy hadn't given me the ball back yet. First, and I think ONLY, red card for waiting politely. 171
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 09/09/2025Nuno gave hope and the whiff of success to Nottingham Forest and no true fan wants that. What they crave is finishing 17th whilst having a 'bloody good bloke' in charge and that's exactly what Ange will deliver. Best of luck to them. Great club management. 2293
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 08/09/2025England beating Andorra 2-0 is like turning up late to a five-a-side and still managing to nutmeg your own cousin. Job done, but nobody’s clapping. Not sure where Serbia is, it's somewhere down the back of Europe's sofa- but be warned, they do have actual footballers. 170
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 05/09/2025Transfer Deadline Day’s gone mad — Nadine Dorries completes shock move to Reform on a free. Meanwhile, Angela Rayner thought she'd scored a housing winner only to have it chalked off for offside in the Stamp Duty box. And then something about Nigel Farage and football. 5436
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 01/09/2025Hey Ross, thanks for asking, we'd love to do another season of Sports Horn and are currently talking with various sponsors about injecting some cash into it. It's close to a full time job and whilst we love doing it, it currently earns us between £25 and £100 a month which is not viable. 010
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 27/08/2025Bloody Colin. He wouldn't last three minutes in the ring with my mate Steve Bould. 1181
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 20/08/2025Wrexham are actually owned by a couple of Hollywood actors. They should flag that up more. . . 0250
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 15/08/2025The Premier League is back! Liverpool will concede. Bournemouth are the wasps in the picnic basket of football. Plus, why I hate Rod f@$%ing Wallace. . . 0235
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 06/08/2025My pick for this coming season's Dark Horses: Manchester United. 191
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 20/06/2025Ian's take on Juventus being in the Oval Office as President Trump talks about the possibility of bombing Iran. 2225
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 23/05/2025It needs to be that big because everything I say into it is big and important and massive. 110
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 23/05/2025Was my absolute pleasure to appear on this week's NonCensored podast and explain all about what Gary Lineker has been doing when he's been doing the things he should not have been doing. 2184
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 21/05/2025Man Utd probably need more than hope, nostalgia and Bruno Fernandes if they’ve going to get anything from this game. 120
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 21/05/2025Second half begins. United look like scolded kittens. Spurs looking like someone’s offered them a biscuit and they’re trying to decide if it’s worth the calories. 170
fiveankles.bsky.social @fiveankles.bsky.social · 21/05/2025Spurs score the kind of goal the game deserved. A hopeful punt into the box, Luke Shaw bats it with his arm, Johnson waggles a foot at it (and misses) and the ball thinks “fuck this, I’m bored, I’m going to try hiding just beyond the goal line”. Scenes. 2525
