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Josh Fireland

@fireland.com
439 followers 143 following 503 posts

crushes you between its steely thighs (if you want) // fireland.com

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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 28/08/2026
Good week! I had somehow never seen any of these before. I don’t like rating movies but in my heart every movie gets four and a half stars.
Last four movies watched: EEAAO, Desperado, Rear Window, Notorious
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 25/08/2026
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 25/08/2026
back in the day this plus a half bottle of bartles would give your paramour the nasty tingles
The book JUGGLING FOR THE COMPLETE KLUTZ (80s edition) and its accompanying net filled with three beanbag cubes.
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 13/08/2026
Remember when they made a backup Bill Murray in case Bill Murray wasn’t available?
Bill Murray’s brother John being very Bill Murray in the movie Moving Violations (1985)
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 10/08/2026
I love how 90s alt rock videos looked like this, keeping things in focus or pointing the camera at something interesting was seen as “selling out”
Screenshot of the video for REM’s What’s the Frequency Kenneth
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 09/08/2026
NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL BESHKHU3EPNM
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 07/08/2026
a perfect week
Ocean’s 11, Ocean’s 12, Ocean’s 13, The Hidden
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 04/08/2026
PSA: Chris Onstad is still doing Achewood, putting out a frankly ridiculous amount of new stuff every week, and it’s beautiful as ever. www.achewood.com
ROAST BEEF: They let you give at a sperm bank Lyle ? // LYLE: Not every woman wants a good baby.
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 01/08/2026
A screenshot of my computer desktop from I don’t know when, maybe 20 years ago. It features my homepage in Safari and some Kyuss MP3s.
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 30/07/2026
I wasn’t allowed to talk about this until now but I wrote a script for a horror movie called THE MONSTER IS A METAPHOR, here’s a sneak peek
BRYNLEE: What the fuck?! • BRAB: Seriously?? • HARNEY: FUCK • GABBLE: No no no no no • DORI$: No seriously what the fuck!!
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 24/07/2026
i’ve never been comfortable calling myself a Content Creator……until now
Mia Goth with drawn-on angry eyebrows
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 23/07/2026
BREAKING: The elaborate set built in Malta for Robert Altman’s deeply weird Popeye movie was turned into a theme park that still exists today.
Popeye Village, a theme park in Mellieħa, Malta.
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 19/07/2026
i dunno, i don’t trust that guy
Billy Zane being a real creep in DEAD CALM which I watched last night
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 18/07/2026
I guess enough time has gone by that I can finally admit I used Claude to design my website in 1999 😔
My homepage from 1999 that is vaguely Claude-ish in its color scheme and layout, I dunno, it’s a reach but whatever this content is freeeee
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 16/07/2026
When I was a kid my family had a cookbook from the 60s with nice illustrations by a guy named Andrew Warhol
Nice clean pie crust illustrations by Andy Warhol from Amy Vanderbilt’s Complete Cookbook
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 15/07/2026
I think this might be AI. That kid’s hand looks weird.
The cover of Aphex Twin’s Come to Daddy EP.
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 25/06/2026
a comment from a youtube of Veruca Salt’s video for Volcano Girls that says Can i just wake from this nightmare & go back there.
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 22/06/2026
happy fathers day
A shot from ERASERHEAD where the titular character is sitting next to his infant son
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 16/06/2026
I wondered if that was scripted or just caught in the moment but then I remembered who we’re dealing with
A snippet of the Old Country screenplay describing a moment when an empty packet of cashews “begins to slowly unkink,” surely a high-water mark in the description of cashew packaging.
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 28/05/2026
i have created a new AI called Lars Ulrich’s Wizard Dad, it only says one thing
Lars Ulrich’s wizard tennis star father in Some Kind of Monster saying “I would say, delete that” after listening to a shitty instrumental song Metallica was thinking about opening their next album with
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 20/05/2026
over here making fake logos to distract myself from and/or embody the awfulness of 2026
A logo for some product called FOUNTAIN WATER which comes in Penny Flavor
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 19/05/2026
Question: Has anyone ever used these little scar bandages in real life or is it just in movies
Brad Pitt in Se7en with two little bandages sort of covering a gash on his forehead.
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 09/05/2026
a montage of characters from MICHAEL CLAYTON all smiling, the text MICHAEL CLAYTON MENTIONED superimposed over them, they are happy the film was mentioned, even the horse and the two killer guys in hairnets
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 08/05/2026
THIS IS A GOOD PLACE FOR A STICK-UP
a clip from an 80s commercial for STICK UPS these little discs you could adhere anywhere and it would attempt to cover up the stench in the area but usually just made things worse
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 15/04/2026
Flash Gordon soundtrack by Queen
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 13/04/2026
the NIN show at coachella was intense! ha ha just playing around, this is a fun place for friendly jokes
a clip from daft punk’s around the world video
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 03/04/2026
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 20/03/2026
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 16/03/2026
An unbiased third party who is definitely not married to me made these HYPE NOTES for my novel CHOKEVILLE which you can get over at fireland.com
CHOKEVILLE HYPE NOTES you will hoot and holler as it is the most raucous fun / you'll ponder if one whale is enuf in a book set by the sea / you'll love the invoker cos she's a gd delight with no chill / you will ruminate on cha-cha's schlong far too long / your flabbers will be ghasted over a dairy cow / you'll wish you could hang out with batya and mina in real life / your heart will grow three sizes for josh quietly patting out a banger
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 15/03/2026
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 19/01/2026
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 05/01/2026
Did I watch the NUCM trilogy backwards so it would show up in the correct order on my Letterboxd? No. Did they, much like the Fast/Furious movies they emulate, get better with each sequel? Yes. Am I ever happy to see Jesse Eisenberg? No. Are magic tricks impressive when shown in a movie, a medium th
A list of the last three movies I watched in 2025: Now You See Me, Now You See Me 2, Now You See Me: Now You Don’t
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 31/12/2025
Devo / Freedom of Choice
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 25/12/2025
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 09/12/2025
@consumertc.bsky.social I just remembered my grandparents had one of these playsets at their house in the 70s, for some reason. Is this unusual or do you have like a dozen of them in your garage?
A McDonalds playset from the 70s, helping prepare youths for their minimum wage job flipping burgers.
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 03/12/2025
your pet peeve can SIT ON IT
Arthur “the Fonz” Fonzarelli giving us two thumbs up
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 26/11/2025
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 23/11/2025
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 13/11/2025
A quote from my essay “Goddamn Fucking Pennies” from my collection KNIFE FITE that says: “I know times are tough, but once a week take a couple pennies and just throw them away. And be showy about it!” This is relevant and interesting because they stopped making pennies today.
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 27/09/2025
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 03/09/2025
Quote from Nicholas Christopher’s A TRIP TO THE STARS, the only good novel: “And she drank gallons of chamomile tea, iced, from a tall glass, which she claimed to be an elixir for longevity—but only if consumed in vast quantities, without sugar.”
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 16/07/2025
people keep asking me what my favorite crossword clue is so here you go, please stop asking
37: what awe u a widdle BABY do u need DIS TO EAT UR WOBSTER u fucking freak
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 02/07/2025
Letterboxd didn’t quite load properly and I gotta say, I could get used to this old school aesthetic
My Letterboxd profile page with no stylesheets or whatever, looks straight outta 1995
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 01/07/2025
John Roderick’s thoughts on early Twitter
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 27/06/2025
GIFT IDEA: An emesis basin is an essential part of any well-equipped kitchen. It’s 2AM and you just extracted a bullet from your estranged brother’s shoulder. What are you gonna drop that bullet into? The good china? Please be serious.
Your classic kidney-shaped emesis basin
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 26/06/2025
Sometimes there’s a little extra peanut butter on the knife and I’ll lick it off and literally every time I do that I think of this
Gary Oldman as Dracula licking Keanu’s blood off a straight razor and really getting off on it
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 07/06/2025
oh my god they rebooted The Three Investigators, this is either going to be the best thing that ever happened to me or the worst…..eh it’ll probably somehow be both
The cover of THE MYSTERY OF THE ABECEDARIAN ACADEMY, book one in a new series of Three Investigators books
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 30/05/2025
Shout out to MacPaint, the only good app, and the original fonts, we as a society lost an entire mode of communication when San Francisco fell out of favor (it was never in favor)
A MacPaint document featuring the original lineup of Mac fonts: Chicago, Monaco, Geneva, New York, etc. It’s missing London, though, which was my favorite for all its goth-y applications.
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 29/05/2025
FYI this gif gets a lot of use in my work slack
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Josh Fireland @fireland.com · 07/05/2025
A horrible gif I made that says YEAH I USE A.I. and then it explains that A stands for Actual and I stands for IEat My Bal—[rest of phrase is cut off]. The background is from the ET Atari game.
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