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Ever Spookums 🦖

@everspookums.bsky.social
174 followers 117 following 1.7K posts

18+ MDNI He/They Cum for the revolution, stay for the ?? Aotearoa 🇳🇿 I like pressing the like button, soz about it. Less SFW account because employers are fucking narcs.

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Disco Gnostic @mazov.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
This email could have been a fist fight
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Puck @ahjeez.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
The corrupt media won't tell you this but you can just make up a sick car and draw it and shit. Absolutely wild
A pencil sketch of a sick bubbly hatchback car the back wheel is much larger than the front wheel. It has chunky headlights.
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Puck @ahjeez.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
HONT! DAWG! 😤
A pixel art hot dog on a bun with mustard and relish
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow Bad day for it, but it hurts waaaay less than I thought... So far.
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Puck @ahjeez.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
Okay, this time with feeling! A reupload of a less immature pic in this pallete
Pixel art of a red haired woman lounging in a blue bikini on neon pink and purple grid field with a striped orange and yellow setting sun in the background.
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willow 🐈 @willow.kissesgirls.online · 24/07/2026
2 drummers
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Puck @ahjeez.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
Would you slurp of the bubbling green brew? Y/n?
A pixel art cauldron with a misty bubbling green fluid in front of a grungy brick wall. There's a small shelf with a bottle of bright blue potion in a round bottle on the wall.
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 16/11/2023
YOU: Please act normal. You need these people to like you. ME: You keep saying that. PEOPLE: Hi! ME: The letter C is superfluous . A soft C is just an S, and a hard C is just a K. We could eliminate it or use it for the sound we currently write as "Ch", which would really make sense.
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 30/04/2024
I'm sorry I missed your wedding, bro, I was trying to break the Jurassic Park arcade shooter speedrunning record in the "Just drank 3 Long Island Ice Teas" category. Almost got it, too. Next time, though, I'll be there for sure.
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 12/05/2024
The only good thing about Mother's Day when your mother has passed away is having the ability to ruin anyone else's mother's day with just a single sentence. The power? Sexual & overwhelming.
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 19/05/2024
ACAB includes the entire year of 1312. Fuck the Council of Vienne's approval of a new crusade. That was some horseshit, and I'm glad it didn't eventuate.
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 01/07/2024
My hobby? Making posts I think are funny and relatable then deleting them when I realise actually it's more a therapy thing.
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 04/07/2024
Wow! That person you knew in High School who was always making movies on the weekend and moved to Hollywood after college has finally given up their dreams and moved back in with their parents! Inspiring!
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 06/08/2024
Hiring a physics tutor to explain conservation of energy to noted producer, musician and large hat aficionado Pharrell Williams.
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 08/08/2024
Me, looking in a mirror: "What if we put cum in it?"
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 10/08/2024
Writing a sitcom called "The French are coming!" starring Dawn French and French Stewart, but every episode is just them silently day-drinking in a different hotel room.
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 05/09/2024
Breaking my back to take a shit down my own throat to own the libs.
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
Do you ever wonder if someday, maybe in the 5th Age when elves have settled into Myth in the mind of man, some great human explorer sets out across the ocean, finds the undying lands and absolutely LOSES HIS shit?
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Puck @ahjeez.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
Please also enjoy this vampire woman who is about to beat ass after drawing first blood.
A sketch of a woman in a crop tube top and undies half kneeling while examining blood on her fingers during a fight.
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
Blaziken deez nuuuuutz
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
The best laid schemes of mice and sadists...
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
Sure, threesomes are fantastic, but noone warns you about sometimes having two beautiful women snoring like fucking bandsaws in your bed all night
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
It's cum, by the way. The pineapples taste like cum.
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
Do I actually find overly explaining jokes and putting disclaimers on them funny, or am I just masking my innate desire for literalism?
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willow 🐈 @willow.kissesgirls.online · 02/07/2026
(reaching across the table and picking your nose and eating it) got one for you queen
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eaei @tape.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
there should be an hour of everyday where its encouraged to scream for artist reasons
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⸸ Andrea Celeste ⸸ @andreaceleste.meangirls.online · 02/06/2026
since it's pride month you can give money to a trans woman by buying my music! any support is much appreciated 💞
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
Please gods grant me the strength to resist getting high and sending parodies of William Carlos Williams "This is Just to Say" to my metamours.
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Puck @ahjeez.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
Your friends think fondly of you when you aren't around. You can't stop it.
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Madam Snazzy @moatatamaira.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
Did I know that the NZ union movement started with miners in Blackball? Yes. Did I know that it was initiated by a man not being allowed to finish his pie? No. But pies do loom large in the national psyche so... this feels right.
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Plover Oatt @parochialnimrod.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
Hand decorated socks handed to Dad who just got pegged
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
For sale: Nut audio. Never listened. 😢
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
Showing up to a vehicular manslaughter trial in my Bob Ross "No mistakes, just happy accidents" shirt
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eaei @tape.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
you cant spell PRIDE MONTH without RIDE ON
skeleton motorcycle.
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
You're at the kink market. Do you: A. Look at all the cool products and support small local businesses B. Catch up with all the super cool people you have met recently. C. Get distracted trying to remember the etymology of "Ankylosaurus" D. All of the above
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willow 🐈 @willow.kissesgirls.online · 19/06/2026
i'll throw whoever i want out with the bathwater
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Puck @ahjeez.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
Drummers are fucking sickos
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willow 🐈 @willow.kissesgirls.online · 15/06/2026
bean dad peen dad have you any wool
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 10/08/2024
Hellö femds, I am fromd sööthland nü jiland, and I live cheeséd roll
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 12/08/2024
I'm going to be unstoppable once people and things stop stopping me.
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 03/10/2024
Swallowing a POG2 and now I dry-retch in harmony.
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 16/11/2024
Putting the umsl in Cumslut
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 19/05/2025
This is what Big Little Hat wants you to believe.
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
This was a lie, I care deeply about Willie Nelson
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
Can I borrow $1100? Not for anything. I just feel like having $1100. Cheers.
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
Health and Safety Induction! At The Sybian Party
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Ever Spookums 🦖 @everspookums.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
The health and safety induction at the sybian party honestly puts 99% of businesses to shame
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willow 🐈 @willow.kissesgirls.online · 12/06/2026
whose dick do i gotta suck to get some piss in my ass around here
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willow 🐈 @willow.kissesgirls.online · 28/05/2026
explaining a hamburger to a hamburger: look down into the stream, my child. what do you see
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Puck @ahjeez.bsky.social · 26/05/2026
I would actually like trans women to ruin my mind with music: please give me your recommendations
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