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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

This is It. Our latest. It's about Jared Kushner BUT READ IT ANYWAY. IT'S GOT LAFFS. thesplit.substack.com/p/splitsvill...

thesplit.substack.com

Splitsville THE PRINCE OF “PEACE”

The Handsome, Charismatic Newsletter for Fans of THE SPLIT

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Bill Corbett @billcorbett.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

It’s amazing, even with two short lines he absolutely wrecks the slight illusion. Even when he just appears, you think “no, no, what the fuck is THIS?” It’s a powerful anti-charisma.

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Here's our latest, in which we pose the question, "Do you think Trump will launch a nuclear weapon if the Dems win big in November and the GOP abandons him?" Weigh in, y'all! thesplit.substack.com/p/splitsvill...

thesplit.substack.com

Splitsville CRAZY IS AS CRAZY DOES. RIGHT?

The Deeply Concerned Newsletter for Fans of THE SPLIT

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GOLIKEHELLMACHINE @golikehellmachine.com · 30/09/2026

jesus christ man

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

If/when Eric Schmitt goes on media (i.e., not in the Senate) and says that Jack Smith committed perjury, can Smith sue him? I know speech in the Senate is protected, but how about on Fox News?

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Steve Vladeck @stevevladeck.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Just a reminder that this is the same Sen. Schmitt who repeatedly claimed that Chief Judge Boasberg was receiving a disproportionate share of Trump-related cases because he confused the D.C. Superior Court (which has 62 judges) with the D.C. district court (which has 15).

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Here's what I don't get: How can anyone think that making a network or a show more right-wing will *increase* viewership? Especially that now even MAGA is getting sick of Trump? Fox News is successful, but there's no growth to be had in pandering to that audience. Right?

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

He couldn't not do this. He couldn't just ignore the "Biden" portrait. Is there a term, similar to "sociopath," for a person unable to rise above his pettiest whims--and oblivious of how that makes him look to others? Everything he does and says is repulsive, but somehow this really gets to me.

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Good news for biographers and historians! If you decide to write about the life and administations of Donald Trump, you won't have to bother seeking an interview with him, his family, or his close associates, since you know that nothing they say can or should be believed.

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

The horror...the horror...

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

And you wonder why this jerk believes in the Antichrist? Just kidding. You don't wonder.

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

I saw a meme that said people are referring to Trump's tenure in office as SADDAM INSANE, and that he doesn't like that.

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

It's here! Our latest. About "soft secession," in which the blue states do the things the horrible Federal gov't. and the criminal Executive Branch refuse to do. It will provoke your thoughts! thesplit.substack.com/p/splitsvill...

thesplit.substack.com

Splitsville DAR-LIN YOU HAVE TO LET ME KNOW: SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?

The Coldly Calculating Newsletter for Fans of THE SPLIT

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Peter Sagal @petersagal.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

In an Uber. Driver having loud phone conversation with someone in Spanish. A little annoying, but it happens. He hangs up. Says, “Mi hermano. La Migra.” And starts weeping.

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Attorney General William Tong @agwilliamtong.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

CT fought to the bitter end to protect the editorial independence of CNN & CBS. We demanded full divestiture and fought aggressively. I’m deeply disappointed that we could not do more, but we secured an enforceable editorial board structure that’ll meaningfully help protect both news organizations.

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

"Does Trump understand the dangers of AI?" No. Trump doesn't understand anything. Literally anything. He's an egotistical ignoramus with dementia. Next question.

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

When his fiancee was seized, had he thought up to that time that the thousands of similar thuggish, criminal seizures had been proper and justified? If so, then that's the kind of moral blindness of which he should be ashamed. If not, but he still supported Trump, that's just as bad.

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The Tennessee Holler @thetnholler.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

🔥 MUST-READ — A WARNING ⚠️ from @AOC: “Heads they win, tails we lose… should the A.I. bubble congress must not bail them out… the biggest threat to humanity isn’t A.I. — it’s the tech oligarchs themselves… @RepAOC points out A.I. companies are demanding massive investments from 🇺🇸 while LOSING money

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

His agreeing to appear with Hannity is something that would make me question his sincerity and make me think Coxon is only in this for the notoriety and self-advancement. Sean Hannity has made a career of dishonesty and lies. Only idiots don't know this.

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Prisonculture @prisonculture.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Can I be honest and say that I would be extremely pleasantly surprised if this happens... But I am really not holding my breath.

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Our latest, in which we review Chris Armitage's piece about how endangered US democracy is--and, in a thrilling second part to come next week, what we can do about it. Your head is spinning, we know. thesplit.substack.com/p/splitsvill...

thesplit.substack.com

Splitsville WHO NEEDS THIS SHIT?

The Grimly Determined Newsletter for Fans of THE SPLIT

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Xela Hart @xelahart.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

💯💯💯

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

We should apply the Turing Test to Mitch McConnell. If we can't tell whether or not he is dead, then we have to consider him to be dead.

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Wordle 1,913 2/6 🟨⬜🟨🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

"his little puppet in the White House." Dems should lean on this framing: Trump as puppet. Remember how he freaked out when Hillary accused him? It's a potent word, and has the added benefit of being true.

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Greg Sargent @gregsargent.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Strong endorse. Will say it again: the pundit class's choice (and it was a choice) to overread 2024 as a seismic cultural shift was a catastrophe for this country, emboldening Trump to go full fascist and encouraging institutional surrender in the face of it. This lives on amid his total collapse.

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Trump trying to sound somber and respectful is like Darth Vader trying to read a bedtime story to a toddler and struggling to sound warm and comforting.

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Our latest, in which we update our masterpiecel, Monsters of the Ivy League, with some new additions. thesplit.substack.com/p/splitsvill...

thesplit.substack.com

Splitsville MORE MONSTERS

The Perfectly Reasonable Newsletter for Fans of THE SPLIT

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

This. Read, heed, and repost.

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Trump pledges to give every adult $5K if Repubs keep control of the House. (NOT The Onion.) Dems should counter-pledge to give every Donald Trump a third impeachment if Dems take the House. Which pledge is the more credible? You make the call!

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Paulley Ticks @tomadelsbach.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

I think we have a winner ;) #DonaldTrump

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

"Why do we need brakes or steering wheels? We don't have any drivers, either!" One wonders: Can they be hacked? As soon as the answer is Yes, chaos will ensue. And I do mean "sue."

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

This is despicable. It's also seriously unhinged. "We did Venezuela." If Dems don't jump all over this ("small potatoes") they're useless.

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Vance proves yet again that he's an entirely different, and more nauseating, kind of loathsome than Donald Trump.

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Our latest, with questions and answers about Democrats, Mitch McConnell, Vance, and every other damn thing. Give it a skim and leave a comment. thesplit.substack.com/p/splitsvill...

thesplit.substack.com

Splitsville JUST ASKING QUESTIONS

The Remarkably Well-Hydrated Newsletter for Fans of THE SPLIT

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A Republic If You Can Keep It @arepublicif.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

North Korea is good. Canada is bad. Coal is good. Solar is bad. Measles is good. Vaccination is bad. Child rapists are good. Childcare is bad. Pointless wars are good. Universal healthcare is bad. Anyone supporting the unrelenting chaos of the #GOP deserves zero respect. #RemoveTrump

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

Our latest, in which we ask the musical question, How much is Donald Trump really like Hitler, and just how Nazi-like is his administration? The answer may not surprise you! thesplit.substack.com/p/splitsvill...

thesplit.substack.com

Splitsville YOU-KNOW-WHO: IS HE REALLY YOU-KNOW-WHO?

The Adorably Incorrigible Newsletter for Fans of THE SPLIT

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

Is there anything AI *can't* do? Well... I need to speak to someone at Simon and Schuster. I asked Gemini if they had a phone number. Ten solid minutes later it gave up. The answer was a ten-digit number in the public domain, and it couldn't hack it. Claude did it in 2 seconds.

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

And I thought I couldn't dislike Jeffries more. "Yes, they're murderous thugs. So we'll make them take their masks off. And if they don't, we will be mad!"

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

This is the pattern of the prestige press: Transmit admin lies in public, then maintain access (with gratitude!) in order to transmit the next lies in public.

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

This is the same idiot wisdom that asks, "If human beings evolved from apes, why are there still apes?"

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

Our latest, "hot" off the "presses." It's about (deep sigh) the return of measles, and the insufferable idiots responsible. Enjoy! thesplit.substack.com/p/splitsvill...

thesplit.substack.com

Splitsville THE KIDS AREN'T ALRIGHT

The Supremely Conscious Newsletter for Fans of THE SPLIT

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George Conway ⚖️🇺🇸 @gtconway.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

Nonsense, Dr. Cassidy. Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. was so obviously a pathologically lying sociopath when he was nominated you couldn't possibly have taken his word intelligently on anything he said. You just looked the other way because you wanted to please Donald Trump. How’d that work out for you?

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Ellis Weiner @ellisw.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

I understand why people do streaming in their car. It's like an instant sound booth. The acoustics are better than anything you can contrive at home. BUT NOT WHILE DRIVING.

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God @thegodshow.com · 12/08/2026

Well said, Doctor! 🙇‍♂️

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