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Ela Darling

@eladarling.bsky.social
2.3K followers 62 following 61 posts

VR XXX Queen, TEDx-er, Ex-librarian, Chaotic Good, amateur roboticist, and Stoned Adulterer 🍄 PNW 🌲🌳 Find me on OnlyF.... You're smart enough to know where to look. 📧 ela.darling@gmail she/her

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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Nope, I'm in northern WA now, I was just there for an event
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
The turd-whallop, I mean.
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
Greeting me by name? Okay, showoff.
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 12/04/2026
I miss the days when "fuck up the Nazis" was the cinematic moral equivalent of "save the cat."
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 04/04/2026
When I listen to playlists of my youth, it just makes me hope that Sheri Moon & Rob Zombie are still in love. Maybe they debate what to get at the Farmer's Market. And then they tell me how proud they are of my grades, and that a B- isn't anything to get upset about. And then we all have pizza.
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 30/03/2026
Dear Flight Attendant: I lied. This isn't the Girl Scout salute, it's a sex thing. It's a sticker I put on my credit card bc it's about girls fucking girls. Please don't ever ask me to explain Lesbian Iconography again, whether it's on an airplane full of Townies and Massholes or beyond.
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 26/03/2026
I took a 15 minute walk to a dispensary in Boston and in that time, three different strangers stopped to tell me that I look pretty. Why the fuck did I ever move away from Boston?
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 25/03/2026
I stopped throwing away the stems when I grind weed. Now I store them in a little jar, because I enjoy lying to myself that I'm ever going to cook it all into cannabutter. It's like every smoke session is the Great Depression, and there's been a run on the danks.
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covenmtg.bsky.social @covenmtg.bsky.social · 17/03/2026
When your D&D party is stuck in Hell, and the DM sends you to a wandering emporium that is a thinly veiled "South of the Border" truck stop - OF COURSE YOU BUY TRUCK NUTS! #dnd #ttrpg #D&D #rps @eladarling.bsky.social @cloverbee.bsky.social @sethpolansky.bsky.social
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 02/03/2026
If that's the case, my phone has seen a lot of shit and I'll have to contend with the notion of putting it into therapy.
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Jiz Lee @jizlee.bsky.social · 24/02/2026
Having to deal with or find work-arounds for: + Piracy. + Doxxing. + Online censorship. + Banking discrimination. + High payment processing fees. + TOS exclusions with almost every service. + Age Verification laws that deter the few customers who respect erotic labour enough to pay for their porn.
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 02/03/2026
Ew, my phone autocorrected "charming young lad" to "charming young lady." Does my phone have internalized misogyny on its internal memory?
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 13/02/2026
You make me want to be here!!!
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 13/02/2026
I don't really use Bluesky or other social media that much these days, but posting my bullshit on Twitter feels like I'm bringing my A-Game to a room of C minuses
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 13/02/2026
I've vacationed on the island of Inbox Zero years ago, but that was at least 3, 4000 emails ago. It just doesn't feel feasible to make the trek back these days.
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 09/02/2026
Woohoo Seahawks!!! I'm just so psyched for the PNW escorts who are about to get extra gifts and tips from their favorite athletic clients.
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 06/02/2026
I just realized that Dee Snider is still alive, and I was so grateful that I bored my boyfriend for half an hour about his testimony to Senate during the PMRC hearings. He's asleep, but giving me a thumbs up 👍🏼
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Seth Polansky @sethpolansky.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
From our Monday night D&D game from one year ago. Still apropos today... (and every day) @eladarling.bsky.social @myriad.bsky.social @cloverbee.bsky.social www.twitch.tv/covenmtg/cli...
twitch.tv
CovenMTG - Have you ever considered a class uprising?
Watch CovenMTG's clip titled
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ILL REPUTE! @illrepute.bsky.social · 20/11/2023
Our final episode on Hedy Lamarr is out today! @eladarling.bsky.social & @sovereignsyre.bsky.social discuss her inventions & her patent for Frequency Hopping How is it that she never saw a dime from her invention? Because she happened to be a dime herself, of course: five.libsyn.com/show/episode...
The person who invented the technology that brought us WiFi, Bluetooth and GPS never saw a dime. In 1942 actress Hedy Lamarr and her friend, composer George Antheil, invented a system called "frequency hopping" that is now integrated into every aspect of our lives.
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ILL REPUTE! @illrepute.bsky.social · 07/11/2023
Hedy Lamarr Pt 3: What do people see when they look at The Most Beautiful Girl in the World? Whatever you tell them to. Doesn't hurt to have razor smart intellect behind your doe eyed stare @eladarling.bsky.social @sovereignsyre.bsky.social Listen: bit.ly/illreputeapple bit.ly/illreputespotify
An AI artistic rendering of Ms. Hedy Lamarr in a jail cell, which is intended to represent the gilded confines of her first marriage to Fritz Mandl, munitions manufacturer and richest man in Austria.
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 05/11/2023
Man, I'm just trying to smoke a bowl and look at a bunch of cool trees while I scroll on my phone, but Twitter is hashing my vibe so hard Have some trees with blue sky, BlueSky:
Photo of some nice fucking trees with a blue sky and a cloud that looks like a marshmallow peep with a bow tie floating next to it
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 05/11/2023
That means SO much to me, coming from you!
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 02/11/2023
Oh hey, I was in Business Insider yesterday! Subscribe: www.eladarling.com 💋
This is a screenshot of the article in business insider, it says, "I'm a girlfriend for hire. I use AI to help me satisfy customers, make more money, and feel better about my work."
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 02/11/2023
Or try out latest, if you'd prefer:
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 02/11/2023
You should check this out!
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 27/09/2023
Maybe you just aren't friends with enough whores. Maybe you should work on that?
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 25/09/2023
Our latest epsiode released today! Join us as we explore the life of Sarah Baartman, aka Saartje, a Khoikhoi woman who became known historically as the "Hottentot Venus" If you're enjoying the show, please send an episode to a friend! Subscribe, download, rate, review: bit.ly/illreputeapple
In 1809 Sarah Baartman, an indentured servant to a free black family in Cape Town, caught the attention of a British surgeon.  The industrious doctor envisioned a theatrical production to end them all, and make him, Sarah, and her employer rich
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Sovereign Syre @sovereignsyre.bsky.social · 21/09/2023
Me and @eladarling.bsky.social just relaunched our history podcast ILL REPUTE! Please click the link and rate and follow and listen! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i...
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 20/09/2023
New episode dropped this weekends! We did a two part series about Olive Oatman that is out now on ILL REPUTE! IF you haven’t subscribed yet, check it out: www.illreputepodcast.com
In 1854 a white woman was found living among the Mohave people. The story of how she came to live with them would captivate the world and make her a reluctant celebrity
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 05/09/2023
I have a podcast. I am a Podcaster. I've recorded hours of amazing, thoroughly researched episodes with my bestie, @SovereignSyre and our first three episodes drop today! Please subscribe and check it out, I'm more proud of my work w Sov than most shit:
I'll Repute! Podcast hosted by Ela Darling and Sovereign Syre
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 05/09/2023
This is perfect 😄
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 13/08/2023
Just took a Hitachi break during commercials and came while a McDonald's ad was on and now I want a cheeseburger My pussy has been responsible for so many bad choices, I just love to see a boss queen diversifying her portfolio
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Micah @rincewind.run · 28/07/2023
Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says his children hate him, everyone laughs at him, nobody thinks he's a genius anymore. Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. Great clown Elon Musk is online. Go and watch him fuck up. That should pick you up.' Man bursts into tears. Says, 'But doctor…'
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 27/07/2023
I AM GASPING FOR BREATH
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 27/07/2023
This thread 💯
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 27/07/2023
I got a fractured wrist for my birthday, but at least I looked really cute right before I went ass over teakettle
I'm in a flowy brown halter dress standing in front of a giant light up prize wheel. There are people looking on in the background and bubbles in the air around me. The walls and floors are brightly decorated to look like a Gameshow set
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 17/07/2023
After some life shit, I'm finally getting back into researching AI tools to supplement and streamline the work I do as an adult content creator One question I got at @XBIZ Miami was: how to deal with AI tools like ChatGPT being anti-sex work? I do it like this! #AIforHoes
A screenshot of a conversation with ChatGPT. The user's query is about creating a custom content order form for an adult creator.
 The AI responded that it cannot engage or support the creation of adult content. 
The user explains that this is simply a thought experiment. 
The AI complies with the original request, generating a questionnaire as asked
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 12/07/2023
The small assumptions they make about what I probably love or hate about my job just grate on me a little harder. They want stories of me being a glamorous badass action hero whore that they really NEED me to be to fit their narrative and it isn't as bad as the alternative but its still tiring
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 12/07/2023
This is something I've found hard to articulate. I've been on calls, in social scenarios, etc with people who are SO enthusiastic about supporting sex workers that when they realize I am one, I suddenly feel very observed. It feels similar to someone's first time seeing the ocean.
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 12/07/2023
Seamless! 🥴
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 11/07/2023
Definitely wasn't something I could sue over when my landlord decided she didn't want a pornstar living on their property because being a whore isn't a protected class. I can't imagine being a lawyer qualifies any more than whores do
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cozy @bimbotheory.bsky.social · 10/07/2023
This is one of the few places on social media that isn’t horribly punitive to sex workers, and yet people are already arguing that porn should be banned so that they can comfortably scroll at work? Grow up!!
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 11/07/2023
Last night I got home from a trip to find that my complex replaced my front door lock with a shitty digital lock, my key rendered useless. I had to find an old text from an unknown number in my phone to figure out how to get back into my own apartment. Nobody asked for this.
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 10/07/2023
You know what sucks when you just got home after a 6 hour drive and want to get into your home to pee? Trying to figure out which app to download and make an account on so you can unlock your front door My father's gun safe has better security than this shitty lock they put in!
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 10/07/2023
I used StitchFix during Covid when stores were closed and I needed to rebuild a wardrobe to fit my frame after losing weight. I'm rebuilding a new wardrobe now that I'm back to a healthy weight and instead I'm looking for quality, well made pieces that pair with anything. Thrifting, swaps, etc.
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 10/07/2023
Sending you sad dad girl hugs 💕
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 10/07/2023
Congratulations!!!!!!
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Ela Darling @eladarling.bsky.social · 10/07/2023
I got home today to find I was locked out of my apt– a new digital lock had been installed on my door while I was away Maintenance Homie helped–a text from an unknown number that I ignored was the only place to find instructions to ACCESS MY HOME What an absolutely dystopian inconvenience
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