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Earl F***ing Weaver

@earlfckinweaver.bsky.social
1.1K followers 407 following 4.7K posts

Pitching, defense, & the 3-run HR. Loves tomatoes and cussing out umps. Hates pretty much everything else. THIS IS A F***ING PARODY ACCOUNT, ya sumbitches!

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Reposted by Earl F***ing Weaver
Stewberto @stewieeee.bsky.social · 10h
No notes.
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Sarah Langs @slangsonsports.bsky.social · 11h
If you’re curious, no game in postseason history has ended 1-0 with the run coming on a leadoff home run Yet
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 12h
At this point, I will have to welcome our insect overlords.
static.klipy.com
Kent Brockman: Welcome Insect Overlords
ALT: Kent Brockman: Welcome Insect Overlords
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MLB @mlbbot.bsky.social · 12h
One year to the day after leading off Game 2 of the 2025 NLCS with a first-pitch homer, Jackson Chourio did it AGAIN in NLCS Game 3!
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 12h
Hello. I'm a fan of baseball. If the owners want a salary cap, they need to open their books & show why it's necessary, because 3 of the 4 teams in the LCS are smaller market teams. And that fucks their argument all the way off. I stand with labor whenever there is a conflict with management.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 14h
I don't know if I'll ever forgive the Brewers for how 1982 ended, but as a fan of the sport, you have to admire the way they play ball. They're smart & they're merciless. I would be more than fine with them winning it all.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 18h
Hands down greatest episode of MST3K in my book. SAND...STORM...
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Atlas Smugged @arrpeebee.bsky.social · 18h
Not all heroes wear capes. Unless that dude had a cape on. We never actually got to see him.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 18h
Did he ask for Solo and the Wookie?
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 21h
"Just make the check out to me." "Okay. What is your full name?" "First initial 'C.' Last name 'ash.' All lower case, like ee cummings & kd lang."
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
And I thought *I* took playoff losses hard.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Enrico Polazzo.
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Out of Context Mickey Mouse Comics @oocmickeycomics.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
An early Topolino strip done by Guglielmo Guastaveglia depicting Mickey riding a tall bike with huge wheels of cheeses for... well, wheels. Kat Nipp and someone else watches in shock.

Narration: First in war! First in peace! First to build a bike of cheese
And fastest man to ride one, too; that's our Mickey. Toodle-loo!
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I 💙 Dogs @dogs100.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
It’s bed time….
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
I was going to stay up as late as possible to watch the Ravens game, but I have to be up early tomorrow and I just don'r give a damn.
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Andy Kindler @andykindler.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Shane Gillis thinks women dress like whores when they work out. That’s his idea of saying something funny. It’s not a joke. It’s just misogyny. His “banter” about Chinese people wasn’t comedy. It’s just racism.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Madden the coach would have gone apoplectic over that travesty of players not knowing the situation.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Win or lose, I need to hear the ENTIRE Jameis Winston postgame interview session.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
This NYG vs. WAS game is INSANE.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Patrick Queen whiffed on an easy fucking tackle?
static.klipy.com
Well Shocker Imurgency
ALT: Well Shocker Imurgency
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
I'm old enough to remember when they presented Bessent as a voice of sanity in an otherwise chaotic WH. Y'all being really fucking quiet now, though.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
If this is in reference to Jerry, I 100% agree.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
He's the kind of ballplayer that any team would be blessed to have on their 26-man. And if CLE ever lets him get to FA, expect a bloodbath of a bidding war.
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Actual names @actualnames.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Susanna Margareta Badfarten Germany, Lutheran Baptisms, Marriages, and Burials, 1500-1971
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
I need one as well.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Just saw my entry.
static.klipy.com
Golden Girls: Sophia Petrillo Says "I'll Allow It"
ALT: Golden Girls: Sophia Petrillo Says "I'll Allow It"
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
I'm trying to remember if I ate one of these 8 years ago & eventually I'll wake up in a world that isn't 1000% fucked. To sleep, perchance to dream...
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Ohio State is just fucking with Maryland, aren't they?
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Bloom County Outland @bloomcountyoutland.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Basta La Vista Mister Trump #bloomcounty #billthecat #opus #goodmorning #comics #oliver #outland #SteveDallas #Trump
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
He'll outlive us all (present company excluded), sir.
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Chise @sailorrooscout.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
How Vaccines Work 🧬🧫🧪🔬💉🥽
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Because the ICC, who are the ones who have the most knowledge on the subject, have charged Netenyahu with war crimes, but not genocide. If you use the crime they've actually been charged with they can't easily dismiss your words as hyperbole.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Van Hollen is the play. He checks all the boxes and (at least from what we've seen) he won't be a feckless shitstain like Schumer.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
RIP Mike Ditka. The 1st TE ever inducted into the HOF*. *Should have been 2nd, but there was an active campaign to keep John Mackey out because of his involvement with the post-merger NFLPA.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
JUSTICE FOR HINGLE MCCRINGLEBERRY! NFL, union clarify celebration rules, say drinking gestures not violations www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/...
espn.com
NFL, union clarify celebration rules, OK drinking gestures
The NFL and NFLPA said recent player celebrations imitating drinking a beverage will no longer be violations or result in discipline. The sides also clarified what celebrations remain prohibited.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Bicycle lick? LICK?!?!?!?!? Fuck...
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Sure, Messi is good. But did he ever have a bicycle lick so pretty that he helped Michael Caine & Sylvester Stallone escape a Nazi POW camp? No? Advantage: Pele.
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Dan Lyons @danlyons.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Has to be BYU
Michael Wilbon on “Pardon The Interruption” with the displayed question “Most impressive LDS team thus far?”
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Getting caught up on MNF from last night, and I am not feeling at all confident about the game on Sunday night.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
You can make valid arguments for a lot of guys to be the most influential player in MLB history, but there was only one man who was the 1st person to win MVP in both leagues AND be the first African American manager in both leagues, so he'll always have my vote.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
So...SOME "illegal immigrants" (to use their onerous fucking term) are okay now?
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
And I once again become enraged that Peter Angelos drove Jon Miller away from the Orioles.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Burn in hell, you pedophile rapist shitstain. No one of consequence will mourn your passing.
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David Gerard @davidgerard.circumstances.run.ap.brid.gy · 04/10/2026
henstomper

oh my god the slot machine company says i have to keep putting coins in their machine or Im Gonna Get Left Behind. thats so scary. and it has to be true because they know more about slot machines than i do

oh my god the slot machine company says if we dont give them money to build the world's biggest slot machine the chinese are gonna build it first and win all the prizes. and then there wont be any prizes anymore
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Christian D'Andrea @trainisland.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
perfect start
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Bills AND Bengals lost?
static.klipy.com
Archer: My Penis Can Only Get So Erect
ALT: Archer: My Penis Can Only Get So Erect
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Mike Vrabel has a Harbaughian ability to work the clock.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Wasn't Jesse Minter supposed to fix this crap?
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Recover the onside kick. Kneel 3 times. END THIS GODDAMN GAME ALREADY.
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