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Earl F***ing Weaver

@earlfckinweaver.bsky.social
1.1K followers 406 following 4.6K posts

Pitching, defense, & the 3-run HR. Loves tomatoes and cussing out umps. Hates pretty much everything else. THIS IS A F***ING PARODY ACCOUNT, ya sumbitches!

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Good Trailcams @goodtrailcams.bsky.social · 17h
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Justin Sherin @wychstreet.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Excited the Rubber Soul remix/special edition is finally out but if you really want to get weird & look at the songs in a new way listen to just Paul & Ringo - www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSgF...
youtube.com
rubber soul but it's only bass and drums
YouTube video by RBStems2
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DrawPlayDave @thedrawplay.com · 23h
Holding every NFL commentator at gunpoint until they specify what that adversity was that Watson went through
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Mike Preston is the Jason LaCanfora of Jerry Colemans and I will not be elaborating.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Deshaun Watson & Aaron Rodgers on primetime is a real Sophie's Choice shit sandwich of an option. Thank Baseball Jesus for Braves/Phillies...
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Duke Hill @oriolebird.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Since the Orioles won 101 in 2023 the White Sox have both set the single season loss record and won a playoff series. Pain
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Elizabeth Cronise McLaughlin @ecmclaughlin.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
You have to wait until the sixth paragraph of this piece before you learn, in the New York Times reporting on the murder of THEIR OWN EMPLOYEE, that the victim was a trans man who had been abused for being trans by the in-laws who murdered him. www.nytimes.com/2026/09/28/u...
nytimes.com
Couple Accused of Killing Their Son-in-Law in Bay Area Park (Gift Article)
Jonathan McKinsey, an engineer who worked in the games department for The New York Times, was fatally shot Saturday in a San Francisco suburb. The police have accused his parents-in-law, both 76.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Every time I see this graphic all I can think of is the Addams Family pinball game.
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gravewalker @grovewalker.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
photo of werner herzog with a speech bubble added so that it looks like he is saying the quoted post
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Well *I* feel better already.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Waiting to see when the Ravens pull the trigger on that UDFA from Penn State who's tight with Vega Ioane, because we're about 5 minutes away from calling Thornton Mellon out of the stands to do a Triple Lindy.
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Roberto Rojas @robertorojas97.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
The Brazilian Portuguese commentary on that Tyler Loop field goal for the Ravens is exactly what everyone needs to hear right now
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Great. Now I have to watch the highlights to see how we pulled that win out of our asses. AND NOW I'M GONNA KEEP FUCKING CARING ABOUT SPORTS FOR LONGER, AND THAT RARELY IF EVER ENDS WELL FOR ME.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
What the fuck am I not watching?
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Oh, did the Ravens have a 10+ point lead in the 2nd half? TIME TO SHIT THE FUCKING BED, BOYS. I'd be better off never watching sports again. Because it's clear that every team I give a fuck about actively fucking hates me & wants me to be unhappy.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
And he'll get fuck all from the MVP voters, even though he deserves at LEAST a top-5 finish. Probably a top-3.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
To everyone telling me to turn the Ravens game back on: No. When I turned it off, we'd just gone down 10-0. After I stopped watching, the Ravens scored 17 unanswered points. I pulled up NFL(dot)com & followed for a bit. The Cowboys got a FG. THEY'RE PLAYING BETTER WITHOUT ME. #RespectTheMojo
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Jawn Gonzalez @johngonzalez.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
the Phillies
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Gail Simone @gailsimone.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Would you bring an iced coffee to an angry Rolling Stone response about Choosing Texas
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Ya lollygag on the kickoffs. Ya lollygag on 4th down. Ya LOLLYGAG on fucking defense. You know what that makes you?!? Larry?
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Already turned the fucking game off. I don't need that shit in my fucking life after the Orioles spent 6 months stabbing me in the goddamn heart every chance they got. I'm about 3 seconds from becoming a sports agnostic.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
His hand slid across the fucking shield. That was a fucknut call.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Stop. Running. Into. The. Middle. Of. The. Goddamn. Defense.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Well, our offense sucks, and our defense sucks. How's our special teams looking?
static.klipy.com
Stan Marsh Says It Sucks Ass
ALT: Stan Marsh Says It Sucks Ass
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Might be diving into the "Shit I Want To Catch Up On" file sooner than I expected. The Ravens look putrid on offense AND defense, and I ain't got time to watch that shit.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Bengals gonna fucking Bengal.
static.klipy.com
Ha Ha Nelson
ALT: Ha Ha Nelson
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Orioles and Yankees fans looking at the umps to call the goddamn game off and let us move on with our lives.
static.klipy.com
Well... We're Waiting!
ALT: Well... We're Waiting!
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Auditinoing for The Sopranos vs. auditioning for Deadwood.
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mumbleoutage.bsky.social @mumbleoutage.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
How are we in the dumbest, most insipid, most blatantly evil, and most chaotic timelines all at the same fucking time?!? How the fuck do we get Abed to re-roll?
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
While I'd always rather have a chance to make the playoffs on the final day over being eliminated earlier, I almost feel a bit of relief regarding our game vs the one the Phillies have to play, because the Philadelphia fans have been getting kicked in the nuts all fucking weekend.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I literally had to look up what the hell the RS writer was talking about. I listen to music I like (mostly Americana & folk) & I completely checked out of the current country scene after it went full jingoistic after 9/11. But sure, it's because I give a fuck about "the culture."
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Jason Herbert @herberthistory.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Here's a thought: shut down Cornell University. Revoke whatever privileges the university has to exist and burn it to the fucking ground. All of it.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Must be all the fucking avocado toast. I'm sure it has nothing to do with rampant greed & avarice of the billionaire owner class...
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
As a head coach, Mike Locksley is one hell of a recruiter.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Already turned the goddamn Terps game off. Because they're shitting the fucking bed. AGAIN. Any chance we can cram Mike Locksley, Craig Albernaz, AND Mike Elias into the same goddamn trebuchet & launch 'em all into the goddamn sun?
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Not me running every interview for a position I'm hiring for like I'm Daniel Plainview "I DRINK YOUR LATTE! I DRINK IT UP!!!!"
static.klipy.com
Daniel Plainview in There Will Be Blood
ALT: Daniel Plainview in There Will Be Blood
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Actually, Petey, evil *is* bad. It's also the OPPOSITE of good. It's right there in @merriam-webster.com you fucking unprepentantly evil choad. You ass carbunkle. People like you are the reason I hope there IS a hell, because if there is you're fucking going www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/e...
merriam-webster.com
Definition of EVIL
morally reprehensible : sinful, wicked; arising from actual or imputed bad character or conduct; inferior… See the full definition
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I am a Certified Old Person™️& speak from experience: Fandoms have always been a mix of people who appreciate & want to celebrate something & people who are absolute unrepentant fuckstains on the bedsheet of society. And the fuckstains have always dominated the discourse.
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Good Trailcams @goodtrailcams.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
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CJ Fogler @cjzero.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
everyone but the center
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Just saw a FB ad for Johns Hopkins looking for people with recurring lower back pain & depression that they want to treat with psilocybin, & all I can think is "medical shrooms!" and I am SO in.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I deleted my posts about Trevor Rogers. It was clear that my interpretation of his comments do not match anyone else's interpretation, & I'm tired of trying to explain my rationale. My experience over the years hearing players about to enter FA in multiple sports colors my response Rogers...
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Andy Kostka @afkostka.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Not sure why Heston Kjerstad is on the roster if he's not going to play in any of the four doubleheader games Wednesday and Friday
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Deleted my Trevor Rogers posts. My interpretation of his comments are clearly not the interpretation of everyone else, and I don't feel like rehashing it all over & over. I'll just say good luck to him in the process.
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Andy Kostka @afkostka.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
If that's the end of Brandon Young's season, what a terrific season it was. He completes five innings with one run against him. His ERA across 156 2/3 innings is 3.56
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
IMMINENT POZO SIGHTING!!!!!!!!!
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I bring a pack of Raleighs & a pint of Bulleitt to every goddamn interview I go to. And I turn my hat backwards when it's time to negotiate salaries. because HR is only here for one goddamn reason.
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Earl F***ing Weaver @earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Can't watch the game, but according to the gamecast, that 1st pitch to Goldschmidt was clearly a strike. Is gamecast wrong or are we out of challenges or something?
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