Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 3hYes that’s it It’s really hard to describe it makes me really angry, like irrationally angry. Licking or kissing that kind of sound. 100
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 4hMe when I have to listen to the fucking dog licking herself:static.klipy.comAneurysm Animation: HhhhomeboyyyyALT: Aneurysm Animation: Hhhhomeboyyyy 140
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 8hI'm full of whatever plague my youngest brought home from school, and I've just had to referee a squabble between him and his brother over whether the Grinch has a dog penis or a human one. It's the 4th of October. We have months of this ahead. 170
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 03/10/2026static.klipy.comSweet Little Rascal Says 'OMG, You're So Pretty!'ALT: Sweet Little Rascal Says 'OMG, You're So Pretty!' 110
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Lot of people on here cheering on the French school protests. What I'm seeing is teenage boys beating up women teachers? I'm a trade unionist and as left wing as they come. I've been on picket lines. If I found one of my sons had done that they'd be begging the fucking gendarmes to take them in. 151
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Had a sudden panic my mozzarella wouldn’t have enough schmelzend, luckily it was short lived. 130
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 02/10/2026At most, 3 minutes work for Marv? Maybe an hour if he has to retile the whole roof. 110
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Stolen from working-class music hall performers, c.1900. It's also ableist (anosmia), speciesist, and centres dog owners. I shouldn't have to explain this for free in 2026, so I won't: cashapp in bio, $5 per oppression. Proceeds go to my cat, who has anxiety, partly because of posts like this. 1135
Reposted by Fr. Cannabranna Lammer.Ryan CrawCour @ryan.crawcour.social · 01/10/2026BREAKING NEWS: Tensions between Thor and the Care Bears have escalated rapidly overnight. 5761261662
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 30/09/2026“Taped to my belly…”static.klipy.comDuuh Zero Fuck Is GivenALT: Duuh Zero Fuck Is Given 010
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 28/09/2026This is the most “London,” sentence…. 😆 000
Reposted by Fr. Cannabranna Lammer.David Eve • 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ @discokidnap.northsky.social · 28/09/2026Good morning. 47918
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 27/09/2026In that case feel free to hit me with a rolled up magazine as I scurry under the sofa 👍🏻 010
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Just trap me under a cup and let me go outside 110
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I’d like to say I’m in control of myself enough to not find a woman who would kill and eat me after.static.klipy.comFather Chuck: I Don't Have A Lie PreparedALT: Father Chuck: I Don't Have A Lie Prepared 110
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 27/09/2026And now we’re at the time of year where my house turns into a seedy bordello for horny spiders. 8 legged perverts.static.klipy.comTerrifying Spider Crawling on WallALT: Terrifying Spider Crawling on Wall 370
Reposted by Fr. Cannabranna Lammer.mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Matching speed with an ice cream truck doing 70mph on the highway and leaping onto it with a cutlass between my teeth 115626
Reposted by Fr. Cannabranna Lammer.Satsuma Danger @clementinedanger.bsky.social · 27/09/2026No but seriously, the youthful fight to change the world is over and we didn't quite manage it, bad job everyone, now our sacred duty is to root out the budding hosedrinkers among us and drive them into the same void we put all those boomers. Facebook probably. 181
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I gave up. I’ve tried eggs laid that morning, brining them in vinegar, seiving the watery bit of the white, everything, I just cannot do it. They end up looking like exploded ghosts. 110
Reposted by Fr. Cannabranna Lammer.Holly Brockwell @hollyqueenofspayeds.com · 26/09/2026We're trying to find a home for, and I quote, "the Pissfingers of cats." Any takers? ❤️ 12408183
Reposted by Fr. Cannabranna Lammer.Felicity Hannah @felicityhannah.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Teenagers. They’re a treat. 3863427
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I think I always assumed your ladies maid told you about it 120
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 26/09/2026You do kind of have that “I don’t own a Tv” energy (respectfully).static.klipy.comLord Palmerston: With Respect, Ma'amALT: Lord Palmerston: With Respect, Ma'am 110
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 26/09/2026static.klipy.comOh Stop It BlushingALT: Oh Stop It Blushing 220
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 26/09/2026static.klipy.comOh Stop It BlushingALT: Oh Stop It Blushing 010
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 26/09/2026One relic survived the fall of the Old Empire: the Botham Scroll of 2014, showing Beefy's flaccid and bruised middle stump, "posted by a hacker." When it resurfaces, Scold, Tankie and Furry recoil as one. Not even TOTP2 unites them so completely. 470
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 26/09/2026On Friday nights the warring tribes laid down their arms, like soldiers in No Man's Land, to live-post TOTP2 together. For one hour, Scold, Tankie, pervert and Furry agreed that the bassist looked like a supply teacher. Then the credits rolled, and the killing resumed. 180
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Each morning the peasants performed the Rite of the MapTap, proclaiming five numbers, a string of 🎯🔥🤨, and a final score out of 1,000 to people *who had not asked.* Those above 900 were made nobles. 2120
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Only the Dog People stayed neutral: the Switzerland of the realm, posting dogs in little coats while empires burned around them. 050
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 26/09/2026In the deep forests dwelt the Fursona Clans and the Great Cartoon Aristocracy. Largely peaceful. Excellent at art. Their provinces are marked "Adult Content" for reasons the monks refused to record, and the one monk who looked was never the same. 260
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 26/09/2026At court sat the Journalists, each bearing a blue tick, each beginning "I don't normally post about this, but…" and each posting about it. Beside them, the Earnest Ones, whose "A gentle reminder…" started more civil wars than any emperor. 150
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 26/09/2026In the scriptoria, the Accessibility Monks inscribed ALT TEXT PLEASE beneath every image of a sandwich. Nearby, the AI Heretics waged an endless holy war over machine-made art, most of them wearing machine-made faces. 190
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 26/09/2026With them came the Technocrats, who swore the new realm was nothing like the Old Empire, and had installed fourteen browser extensions to make it look exactly like the Old Empire. 150
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Then the Feed Lords arose, each claiming dominion over an algorithm. Peasants could enter only by passing the correct Starter Pack. Thus were born the Duchies of Cats, Trains, Queer Art, Leftist Politics, and People Who Post About Books They Haven't Finished. 150
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 26/09/2026To the east rose the Tankie Khanate, masters of the grain supply, who assured us there was no famine. Their banners bore a hammer, a sickle, and a 14-post thread explaining why you're wrong about Hungary in 1956. 180
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Their power rested on the Blocklist Cartographers, who mapped vast territories of people they had never met. To appear on the Great Lists was to be damned by strangers. To ask why was to be added to a second list. 170
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Then came the Warlords. First the Scold Kingdoms of the Americas, who ruled by the Blocklist and taxed every joke at 100% for Insufficient Context. A man in Leeds called something "mad" and was exiled for ableism. He has not been seen since. 180
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 26/09/2026At first it was paradise. A man posted a photo of a bin and 40,000 people liked it. The chroniclers called it the Golden Age. Every generation since has agreed it ended precisely six months before they arrived. 170
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 26/09/2026On arrival they took the noble title "Former Twitter User," which they announce to this day, as a Roman might mention his consulship. Many still post screenshots of the ruins, lest we forget. We could not forget. They will not let us. 160
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Gather round, children. In the year 2022 the Old Empire fell. A mad emperor seized the throne, renamed the realm after a single letter, and made his horse a verified account. The legions fled west across the sea, to a land of blue butterflies. 11713
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 25/09/2026I know how much you cherish your time there. 110
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 25/09/2026static.klipy.comThe Simpsons: Homer Walks AwayALT: The Simpsons: Homer Walks Away 110
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 25/09/2026static.klipy.comZach Cabrera: Upset and FrustratedALT: Zach Cabrera: Upset and Frustrated 000
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer. @drraulduke.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Maybe your bifocals are sitting too low? 😙 110