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Dread Farmer Roberts

@dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social
356 followers 679 following 1.4K posts

Just a simple farm boy. Still undefeated in fights to the death. Old knees, young heart. Holder of multiple professional licenses. Understander of statistics. Respected by local youths. Reviled by local boomers.

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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 15h
This cat is the perfect embodiment of, "the softest paw can be a claw". I call him Death. I love him.
A large, long hair black cat rests one paw on a coverall clad knee. 

All his claws are buried in my flesh. I am in pain.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
My co-driver does not recognize or respect personal space.
A jet black, long haired cat lounges on my handand gazes out the truck window. Previously mentioned black cat. Surveying his domain and not too stressed about it
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
I'm not scared of conflict. Which is your correct way to hang a wrench? The 3/4 are "box bend in" the 13/16 are "box bend out". If you're box bend out I think you should be ostracized from society, but that's just my opinion. What's yours, and do you know who keeps flipping the wrenches?
Left side: A pair of 3/4 inch wrenches hang on a peg board in the correct orientation. 

Rifht side: A pair of 13/16 wrenches hang on a peg board in the disgusting and wrong orientation.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Stupid, sexy soybeans.
A combine harvester unloading auger is extended over the side wall of a burgundy truck box. 
A solid stream of golden beans falls from the auger into the truck box.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
You have no idea how often this meme is appropriate out here.
"Ancient aliens meme" reworked to read "Mexician Mennonites" 

It's extremely low effort.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
You know I keep it ready.
The absurdly long pepper mill, previously mentioned, now hangs beside the dining room breezeway.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
The... more functional salt and pepper mill broke. Thankfully my brother gifted me a spare.
An enormously long pepper mill dominates the countertop of a 1980's style kitchen.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
If you don't listen to @bloodwork.show I'll still collect a terabyte of imagery data, but you won't understand how we use that data to make predictive decisions. Can't wait for the next episode.
A medium UAS with imaging payload hovers over a janky, kinda shite, corn field.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Bless your heart, all y'all got a long row to hoe if you ever want anyone to believe anything you say.
Top image, Jean Chrétien, former Canadian prime minister physically choking someone who tried to throw a pie. The pie thrower has been given a trump style hair cut. 

Lower part of image, collection of dissenting congressional democrats from a previous organized protest against donnie where everyone held up pity signs and nothing changed because Americans are cowardly cucks falling into the grip of fascism and it wont stop until me and the bois burn down your capital, again.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
A lot of this stuff has already happened and given your countries attitude towards work, someone else will have to fix it for you.
Top image, Jean Chrétien, former Canadian prime minister physically choking someone who tried to throw a pie. The pie thrower has been given a trump style hair cut. 

Lower part of image, collection of dissenting congressional democrats from a previous organized protest against donnie where everyone held up pity signs and nothing changed because Americans are cowardly cucks falling into the grip of fascism and it wont stop until me and the bois burn down your capital, again.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
This my generic response whenever some chucklecuck american tries to assure me that the democrats will save the day. Figure it out you cowardly clowns.
Top image, Jean Cretien, former Canadian prime minister physically choking someone who tried to throw a pie. The pie thrower has been given a trump style hair cut. 

Lower part of image, collection of dissenting congressional democrats from a previous organized protest against donnie where everyone held up pity signs and nothing changed because Americans are cowardly cucks falling into the grip of fascism and it wont stop until me and the bois burn down your capital, again.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Her breakfast is late because I had to finish chores before the rain.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Caturday means you can sit somewhere else! #Caturday
An orange cat and a grey tabby/tuxedo cat gently snooze on a grey loveseat.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
He's gonna be so mad when they take his gift from Jesus away.
Domino meme.
Small domino: Harp removed from WH
End domino: Alberta invaded
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Listen to @bloodwork.show and just maybe you'll understand what it means to be loved. Pour one out for all the technicals we left behind.
A beige or "Desert Tan" 1986 HJ60 Toyota Landcruiser. 

Colloquially known as a "Troopie" due to the long box, hard top configuration. Designed to transport up to 9 persons. 

To the right of the image a pair of men are applying sunscreen.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
"They don't make em like they used to." "Everything is garbage now." Sure, things have gotten worse and in certain situations, more complicated. That said, maybe it's a skill issue. Maybe you should have listened when Grandfather was sharing all the little things.
A John Deere brand heavy duty battery is centered in the image. The number "2017" is written on the battery to indicate the year of purchase.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Makes me dream of a life I never led.
A AT-401 airplane. This plane is bright yellow and is designed to apply various agricultural products.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Make your own fun.
A mini drone sits on top of a hardcover copy of Pierre Burton's "The Invasion of Canada".
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Who has 2 thumbs and loves train car graffiti?
010
Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
You're right bud, the laundry can wait.
Same orange cat from the image above but hes in full lounge mode. Sprawled across the lap, you're not going anywhere.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Im sorry I had to work late.
A beautiful orange tabby cat lounges across his human's lap.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
Time to get Gac'ed up!
A small Grain Analysis Computer can be seen in the upper left side of the image. A large red sticker reads, "GAC STATION".
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
Jimothy at home is melting.
A grey/white tuxedo pattern cat lounges across his office chair.  His front paws are draped over the edge of the seat and the cat appears to be melting.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
We have "Jimothy at home".
A grey/white tuxedo pattern shop cat lounges on his office chair.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
You and me both. 😉
A medium sized UAS quad rotor discharges a M72 LAW
020
Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
The eastern mind cannot comprehend. Even more shocking, when I turned 14, I could and did exactly this.
A black pickup truck is connected to a large 5th wheel trailer, which is connected to a small tent trailer. 

The entire assembly is parked at a gas pump, and will be parked at another gas station soon.
000
Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
@jkass99.bsky.social You tellin' me some one armed stoner tried to fly one of those over the Himalayas? Yes, that is a Tiger Moth.
A Tiger Moth biplane defies time and flies the clear North American sky
010
Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
Kids from McGill taught the game to kids at Harvard.
010
Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Hey! I saved this one a couple weeks back. Peace be with you.
Homer Simpson laying on a couch, smoking a cigar. 
Text reads "Everyone is negatively polarized except me"
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
I should call her.
A red grain elevator with white painted words reading: Ziola Farms Nut Mountain
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
🎵All I do is win, win, win🎵
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
She can't believe the lap Max threw down. Completely boozled, no thoughts remain.
A luxurious Grey tabby with white socks is astonished by Max Verstappens skills.
000
Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Poop zoomz! Happy Caturday to all who celebrate. #Caturday
A healthy and dashing orange tabby cat stares into the camera. He has pooped and is now full of beans. 
A scattered collection of remote controllers and literature are centre.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
I assume that someday they'll make tyvex suits in men's sizes. That said, it is kinda fun "hulk smashing" my way out of these things.
A chaoticly torn tyvex sleeve dangles tightly on a mans arm. 
Weeds present in the back of image are: kochia, lambs quarters, and red root pigweed.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
It's important to invert your oranges so they evenly ripen. #Caturday
A chaotic and violent orange cat lounges in an inverted position.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 18/05/2026
This is a good cigar.
I always keep a nice cigar on hand. Just in case something good happens.
010
Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
I will always understand why they made her 3 C thick.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
I tried to find one with disappointed eyes; wasn't hard!
Lois Riel looks at you with a disapproving gaze.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 01/05/2026
If you scratch the tum hard enough, everyone blinks.
Two incredibly spoiled shop cats snuggle and snooze in a tractor cab. 

The long haired, evil black cat dominates the chair. Behind him an adorable, cross eyed, half weasel happily purrs.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 28/04/2026
Back in my day, America stood for something good.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 28/04/2026
I am her spare human. She's not happy I'm the one who keeps her hydrated.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
Evergreen.
Bobby Hill meme wherein Bobby is showing a group of children a poster. 

Poster reads: France has done more for Ukraine than America. 

Bottom text reads: If those USians could read, they'd be very upset.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 17/04/2026
I would prefer the fever dream content over this half baked, lowest bidder effort.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
My office administrator keeps biting my knuckles and stealing my pen.
A jet black long hair domestic cat grumpily lounges beside a document and coffee mug. He craves violence.
020
Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
Back in my day, the CIA dared to dream big.
Image shows Mevlüt Mert Altıntaş, a gawt damn hero, immediately after he retired the russian envoy to Turkey.
000
Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
I hated the term until I learned that using it upsets USians. Given the literacy rates in America, it's honestly surprising that the term didn't pop up sooner. Now I know i haven't done much to "beat the allegations" but my goal is to change your mind. I'm not a twat, I'm a piece of shit.
Bobby Hill meme where Bobby is holding up a sign board for kids in detention. 
Sign board reads, "France has done more for Ukraine than America" 

Lower text reads, "if those USians could read they'd be very upset"
000
Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 28/03/2026
Lol. Lmao even.
Classic meme from "The Hunt for the Red October". In this scene the, I believe, foreign secretary or diplomat is asking the Soviet representative if they have lost a second submarine. 
The messaging had been reworked because the American air force has allegedly lost 2 E3 Sentry AWACS birds to Iranian actions.
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
Makes me mad
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Dread Farmer Roberts @dreadpirate-robert.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
The internet remembers. I hope your dream comes true. I guess you realized that one wasn't a drop top, so it had to go. 😉
Screenshot of Bluesky feed showing "Posylt not found". Only SwiftonSecurity knows what and why they deleted what they did. I thought it was brave to share a dream.
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