This newsletter post is the author's attempt at reclaiming her time further after the umpteenth negative experience with folx who claim to share values, community, etc., as she continues to reckon with the costs of Access Intimacy Abuse at the hands of Makai Livingstone, the founder of Embodied Support Services, while reflecting on her grave reality as a disabled trauma survivor. Given how her ex's financial abuse of at least $183,364 over 6.5 years has further disabled her and limited her ability to afford to exist, she reinforces the necessity of this lifelong work of unpacking internalized ableism, which includes honouring her access needs.