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Edward Carter

@dotmund.bsky.social

259 followers 98 following 3.3K posts

Damn fool cartoon man of diminishing interest. Only reads Hobo Joe Comics. Worthing, UK

Posts Replies Media

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

The Harry J All-stars hated Chelsea FC. Thought they were SHIT.

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

Rigden Pigden

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

Skloot Insurance

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

Like everyone you know, my ambition has always been to be caught masturbating by live television cameras

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

Wouldn't it be terrible if the Argentina squad fell victim to the cyclospora outbreak, shat themselves throughout a dismal World Cup final defeat, and never got the Falklands back?

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

It's going to be interesting to have a British Prime Minister who is a Scouser. Primarily so we can finally judge whether or not Margaret Thatcher's famously incendiary "rivers of scallies" speech was correct or, as many suggested, was just scaremongering.

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

20 years ago today I broke my neck. If you had told me then that on the corresponding day in 2026 I'd be almost infinitely more fucked than I was then, I'd probably have believed you. Because that's how unlucky I am and how shitty my life is.

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

It's her kids I feel sorry for

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

If a penalty shootout in the World Cup gets to a score of 10-10, the result of the tie is determined by a cum-drinking contest

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 04/05/2026

Well, it finally happened. I got my liver transplant. Here are some nuggets for in case you ever need one. It sucks before. It sucks afterwards, but in a more open and expansive way. Look after your liver because it isn't worth this bullshit. And don't ever ask me for any help or advice.

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 19/04/2026

My favourite snooker player is Whoever Is Playing Ali Carter

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 11/04/2026

What do I get

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 28/03/2026

Bouquet Garni up the arse and it's thyme for a wank

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Reposted by Edward Carter

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

I'd like to know where you got the notion to rock the boat

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 08/01/2026

Don Bradman was a lousy cricketer, couldn't even bat

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 06/01/2026

I'd like it known that my interest in and tolerance of extreme left wing politics is identical to my interest in and tolerance of extreme right wing politics, i.e. zero. So everyone just knock it off, there's a love.

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 06/01/2026

Within a 6 hour period this morning I had both forgotten about Dre *and* been fooled by the rocks J.Lo had got. Unbelievable.

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 02/01/2026

Breakbeat hardcore was the music of my life, its the only new thing that emerged during ny lifetime that truly blew my mind

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 02/01/2026

Cor my crabs and piles

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

I'm listening to Don't Leave Me This Way by Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes. 50 years old this year. The Communards' version is 40 years old this year. Both are fresh to death.

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

In de pines In de pines

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

I'd like to know where you got the notion to rock the boat

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

This year I'm going to learn how to play the Amen Break on my nutsack

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Reposted by Edward Carter

David Cake @davecakes.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

Dry Jan is what I call your mum.

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 31/12/2025

I've had a relentlessly awful year, but I remain unbroken and unbowed enough to wish everybody - particularly me - a happy and healthy 2026.

Reposted by Edward Carter

Mark Harris @markharris.bsky.social · 30/12/2025

An absolutely wonderful, versatile, powerful and powerfully funny actor who enlivened everything he was in, and a huge loss. I'm not going to say the word, but we're all thinking it in his honor. RIP Isiah Whitlock. deadline.com/2025/12/isia...

Isiah Whitlock Jr. Dies: ‘The Wire’ Actor & Frequent Spike Lee Collaborator Was 71

Actor Isiah Whitlock Jr., known for his roles in The Wire, Veep, Your Honor and The Residence and a number of Spike Lee movies, passed away Dec. 30.

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 30/12/2025

Worthing are playing Dorking tonight, winner gets the giant metal chicken from the roundabout for their town. Plus three delicious league points.

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 30/12/2025

It's time to eat ribs. Ribs o'clock.

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 28/12/2025

I'm going to have one of your livers

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 28/12/2025

Greatness is bestowed on some fish but not others. Sorry, ichthyophiles. But being a fish is a meritocracy.

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 28/12/2025

🐢

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 28/12/2025

Bert Harris doesn't live here any more

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 27/12/2025

I only watch things about hounds now

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 27/12/2025

Sherlock Bones

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 27/12/2025

I reckon John Nettles might be a werewolf

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 27/12/2025

He's turned into a wereduck

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 27/12/2025

Somehow he got less hairy when he turned into a werewolf

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 27/12/2025

That's not a werewolf, it's an unfair wolf

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 27/12/2025

Killed every night by a pack of wild dogs

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 27/12/2025

Today's posts are sponsored by corks

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 26/12/2025

Back on the transplant list tomorrow. Unless you've been there it's hard to explain the combination of fevered anticipation and being bummed out that this engenders. Look after your organs, it's not worth it. And don't be born with a autoimmune disorder that slow plays you.

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 25/12/2025

I feel like revealing my true personality with some spectacularly ill-judged and off-colour posts

Reposted by Edward Carter

badly drawn boo! 🎃👻🧛🏼‍♀️ @soapachu.bsky.social · 24/12/2025

He isn't "losing" this money. This is called "paying tax like a responsible citizen and not hiding your money offshore" and we need to start recognising and applauding it.

Manchester Evening News headline 'Anthony Joshua to lose £32m prize money after Jake Paul victory' and then goes on to clarify that this just means he'll pay tax like a responsible UK citizen.

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 24/12/2025

I've never seen an episode of Inspector Morse

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 23/12/2025

Just had my first mince pie of the season, stay tuned for more updates

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 22/12/2025

Iron Lion Zion Brian

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 22/12/2025

Sausages

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 22/12/2025

Who are the worst football team in the world?

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Reposted by Edward Carter

Christina Martin @christinamartin.bsky.social · 22/12/2025

The snow penis wishes you a good Christmas week.

Knitted bollard cover of a snowman in Crowborough that looks like an upright penis.