iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

The Harry J All-stars hated Chelsea FC. Thought they were SHIT.

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

I hope there's a local by-law that it is permissable to get fucked on that bench as long as it is by the captain of the England rugby union team

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

Legionella outbreaks should be made compulsory for one football match every week

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

Like everyone you know, my ambition has always been to be caught masturbating by live television cameras

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

I often wonder what my donor is up to now. This demonstrates that I am a very stupid person.

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

I started a list of all the crap (and not crap) films I watched when I was waiting for a liver transplant. I've only watched three films in the three months since I had one. Presumably the donor didn't like films. Also they couldn't play the fucking piano, either.

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

Wouldn't it be terrible if the Argentina squad fell victim to the cyclospora outbreak, shat themselves throughout a dismal World Cup final defeat, and never got the Falklands back?

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

Rishi was younger than me. It's not what you want. Prime Ministers and doctors should always be older than your parents.

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

3. Fred Talbot will be made minister for defence ( that one probably aged badly, lets be honest) And that 4. The nation's streets will be full of old duffers demanding pudding. Remember: the country doesn't owe you pudding, you have to EARN it.

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

For those of you who don't remember some of the more lurid predictions from that infamous piece of oratory: 1. They'll make "Oh-Bla-Di-Bla-Da" the national anthem 2. The Exchequer will keep all the nation's money in a chicken on the kitchen table

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

It's going to be interesting to have a British Prime Minister who is a Scouser. Primarily so we can finally judge whether or not Margaret Thatcher's famously incendiary "rivers of scallies" speech was correct or, as many suggested, was just scaremongering.

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

20 years ago today I broke my neck. If you had told me then that on the corresponding day in 2026 I'd be almost infinitely more fucked than I was then, I'd probably have believed you. Because that's how unlucky I am and how shitty my life is.

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

If England lose it means we'll be beaten by Argentina every day for the next 40 days and nights

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

It's time you stopped your toxic obsession with making professional footballers eat cat food

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

Make attackers wear collars with a bell on them, like a cat

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

If a penalty shootout in the World Cup gets to a score of 10-10, the result of the tie is determined by a cum-drinking contest

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 04/05/2026

Offal is the tasty boys. I was bemoaning just thr other day that when I was a kid you could get liver, kidneys or tripe from any high street supermarket. Kidneys are the best one.

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 04/05/2026

I bet it uses Gill measurements for fluid

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 04/05/2026

They made it into pies for the Champions' League semi finals

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 04/05/2026

Well, it finally happened. I got my liver transplant. Here are some nuggets for in case you ever need one. It sucks before. It sucks afterwards, but in a more open and expansive way. Look after your liver because it isn't worth this bullshit. And don't ever ask me for any help or advice.

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 02/05/2026

Due to a rare disease called PSC, I've been waiting on a transplant liver for 3 years. Well, I got my transplant 9 days ago. I'm still slowly recuperating at KCH, London. But heartbroken for Alex. And suddenly aware of exactly what "heroism" is. Why we need it. Why it matters. And that I loved him.

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 19/04/2026

My favourite snooker player is Whoever Is Playing Ali Carter

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 28/03/2026

Bouquet Garni up the arse and it's thyme for a wank

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Reposted by Edward Carter

Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

I'd like to know where you got the notion to rock the boat

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 09/01/2026

My barber is 6 years younger than me, the world has gone mad

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 09/01/2026

I'll give you a bizarre lack of jokes in a minute

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 08/01/2026

Don Bradman was a lousy cricketer, couldn't even bat

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 06/01/2026

We've not tried it yet because our bin is on Friday. The irony is, if it doesn't work we won't be able to throw it out. No room in the bin.

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 06/01/2026

My wife has recently bought a bin squisher: you hook it onto the handle and press all the rubbish down so you can get more stuff in. A major development in bin science.

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 06/01/2026

And some of those people *weren't even in* Sgt Pepper's band

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 06/01/2026

I'm not in pain but my sleep was nevertheless interrupted but a cold cat leaping on my chest and purring her fucking head off

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 06/01/2026

I'd like it known that my interest in and tolerance of extreme left wing politics is identical to my interest in and tolerance of extreme right wing politics, i.e. zero. So everyone just knock it off, there's a love.

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 06/01/2026

Within a 6 hour period this morning I had both forgotten about Dre *and* been fooled by the rocks J.Lo had got. Unbelievable.

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 02/01/2026

Breakbeat hardcore was the music of my life, its the only new thing that emerged during ny lifetime that truly blew my mind

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

Whoever wins The Traitors is ready to go

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

I'm listening to Don't Leave Me This Way by Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes. 50 years old this year. The Communards' version is 40 years old this year. Both are fresh to death.

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

I'd like to know where you got the notion to rock the boat

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Edward Carter @dotmund.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

Former Brighton player Liam Rosenior. They're our bitch forever.

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