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Dr. NerdLove

@doctornerdlove.com
5.7K followers 484 following 13K posts

Free now of the chains of Twitter, traveling the world and doing good. Dispensing the best dating advice on the Internet. Send your dating questions to doc@doctornerdlove.com.

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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 1h
NEW COLUMN: He’s making huge strides in transforming his life, but it’s a struggle to keep up the effort. How does he know if he’s taking on too much at once? ASK DR. NERDLOVE: I’m Trying To Change My Life. Am I Doing Too Much Or Not Enough?
doctornerdlove.com
I'm Trying To Change My Life. Am I Doing Too Much Or Not Enough?
He's making huge strides in transforming his life, but it's a struggle to keep up the effort. How does he know if he's taking on too much at once?
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 18h
Now live for my patrons: Two readers are trying to change their lives and meet new people. But what do you do when even just meeting people is a struggle? How do you know if you're doing enough, or if it's just too much? www.patreon.com/DrNe...
I'm Trying To Change My Life. Am I Doing Too Much Or Not Enough?
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 19h
From The Archives: My Boyfriend is Growing Distant. Is His ADHD to Blame?
doctornerdlove.com
My Boyfriend is Growing Distant. Is His ADHD to Blame?
Her boyfriend has always struggled with communication, but now he's going weeks at a time without even texting. Is his ADHD the cause?
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 21h
NEW COLUMN: Her boyfriend wants to get serious. She’s thinks that they've got bigger problems. Should they fix this, or is it time to break up? ASK DR. NERDLOVE: My Boyfriend Wants To Take Our Relationship To The Next Level. Should We Break Up Instead?
doctornerdlove.com
My Boyfriend Wants To Take Our Relationship To The Next Level. Should We Break Up Instead?
Her boyfriend wants to get serious. She's realized that they know next to nothing about each other. Should they fix this, or is it a sign to break up?
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 22h
From The Archives: On Labeling Men “Creepy”…
doctornerdlove.com
On Labeling Men "Creepy"...
Dr. NerdLove has a few things to say on the subject of whether it's fair to call men "creepy" and why.
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 29/09/2026
Man, nothing like a PR email that starts with “did you know that RenFaire participants, LARPers and TTRPG players are more likely to be non-monogamous?”
A simplified black and white line-art illustration of Nick Cage, doing a goofy face. Text reads “you don’t say?”
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 29/09/2026
NEW COLUMN: Her boyfriend wants to get serious. She’s thinks that they've got bigger problems. Should they fix this, or is it time to break up? ASK DR. NERDLOVE: My Boyfriend Wants To Take Our Relationship To The Next Level. Should We Break Up Instead?
doctornerdlove.com
My Boyfriend Wants To Take Our Relationship To The Next Level. Should We Break Up Instead?
Her boyfriend wants to get serious. She's realized that they know next to nothing about each other. Should they fix this, or is it a sign to break up?
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Reposted by Dr. NerdLove
Joseph Brassey @josephbrassey.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Want to support my work? Glassblade is serializing now! Chapter 20 just went out, and Chapter 21 drops 10/5/26! A Lost Dynasty, a City on the Edge. Glass Swords, Romance, Cosmic Horror. Art by @data2048.bsky.social #WriteSky #WritingCommunity All links here: www.josephbrassey.com/the-wielder-...
The cover of Joseph Brassey's Glassblade, featuring a drawing of a teenage boy, a pencil, an iphone, a necklace, and a glass sword-hilt.Downtown Tacoma in the autumn rain.The five PoV characters of Glassblade, drawn by Data 2048Downtown Tacoma and Mt. Rainier at sunrise.
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 28/09/2026
Now in early access for my patrons: After months of good sex and fun times, her boyfriend wants to get serious. She, on the other hand, is thinking about breaking up instead. Should she try to change things, or is it time to go while the getting's good? www.patreon.com/DrNe...
My Boyfriend Wants To Take Our Relationship To The Next Level. Should We Break Up Instead?
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 28/09/2026
Just got my print copy of @carlaspeedmcneil.bsky.social’s Settlers of the Storm Worlds! Looking forward to diving in tonight!
The Settlers of the Storm Workds graphic novel by Carla Speed McNeil, showing a cross between a Model T and bardo with a young man in academic robes doing something in front of an open door pn a storm-wracked prairie The front page of Settlers of the Storm Worlds, with bat dog stamps and bonus stickers!
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 28/09/2026
From The Archives: Flirting With Intent – Advanced Flirting for Nerd Women Pt. 2
doctornerdlove.com
Flirting With Intent - Advanced Flirting for Nerd Women Pt. 2
Ladies: do you wish you had a better guide on how to get that nerdboy's attention? Guest author Kira provides more lessons in Advanced Flirting for Geek Women.
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 28/09/2026
From The Archives: It’s Impossible For Me To Meet New People!
doctornerdlove.com
It's Impossible For Me To Meet New People!
He's incredibly lonely, but he can't bring himself to talk to other people. How is he supposed to find love when his choices makes it impossible?
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 28/09/2026
NEW COLUMN: Her boyfriend wants to get serious. She’s thinks that they've got bigger problems. Should they fix this, or is it time to break up? ASK DR. NERDLOVE: My Boyfriend Wants To Take Our Relationship To The Next Level. Should We Break Up Instead?
doctornerdlove.com
My Boyfriend Wants To Take Our Relationship To The Next Level. Should We Break Up Instead?
Her boyfriend wants to get serious. She's realized that they know next to nothing about each other. Should they fix this, or is it a sign to break up?
121
Reposted by Dr. NerdLove
Tanya D. || Writer || Narrative Designer @cypheroftyr.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Still seeking a job. Still after nearly 20 months. My crops are dry, my soul is withering.
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 27/09/2026
Now in early access for my patrons: After months of good sex and fun times, her boyfriend wants to get serious. She, on the other hand, is thinking about breaking up instead. Should she try to change things, or is it time to go while the getting's good? www.patreon.com/DrNe...
My Boyfriend Wants To Take Our Relationship To The Next Level. Should We Break Up Instead?
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 27/09/2026
From The Archives: Unconventional Attraction
doctornerdlove.com
Unconventional Attraction
There's more to looks than matching whatever Cosmo and Allure tells you. Guest blogger Squirrel has some advice for making your unconventional looks work.
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 27/09/2026
From The Archives: How Do I Become More Than “The Funny Fat Friend”?
doctornerdlove.com
How Do I Become More Than "The Funny Fat Friend"?
He's well dressed, he has a good sense of humor and it feels like all women see is that he's fat. How can he learn to be more than "the funny fat friend"?
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 27/09/2026
Apropos of nothing besides my ongoing hyper fixation on Dungeon Crawler Carl, I honestly feel like part of the appeal of Princess Donut is that she’s the exact opposite of Miss Piggy in this way. Donut *pretends* to be selfish and self-centered, when she actually cares broadly and deeply for others.
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 27/09/2026
Speaking of music, there's a new Social D album and they cover Chris Isaac's "Wicked Game" and I regret to inform you that it slaps. www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptIK...
youtube.com
Social Distortion - "Wicked Game" (Official Lyric Video)
YouTube video by Social Distortion
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 27/09/2026
Never underestimate my ability to miss what's in the pop culture zeitgeist because I am 49 and very rarely listen to the radio. I legit had never heard a Sabrina Carpenter song until she was on The Muppet Show.
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 26/09/2026
From The Archives: Ask Dr. NerdLove: Sex Is Like Pizza…
doctornerdlove.com
Ask Dr. NerdLove: Sex Is Like Pizza...
She's ready to lose her virginity, but she's terrified of being bad in bed. Does inexperience mean she's doomed? Is bad sex the kiss of death in relationships?
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 26/09/2026
From The Archives: How Do I Take Off These Rose-Colored Glasses?
doctornerdlove.com
How Do I Take Off These Rose-Colored Glasses?
She knows the guys she dates are bad news... but that's why she likes them! How can she take off the rose colored glasses and learn to like GOOD men?
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 26/09/2026
NEW COLUMN: He ticks all the boxes for what women want, but women ignore him when he’s around. If he’s as great as his friends say, why is he still single? ASK DR. NERDLOVE: If I’m Such A Catch According To My Friends, Then Why Do Women Ignore Me?
doctornerdlove.com
If I'm Such A Catch According To My Friends, Then Why Do Women Ignore Me?
He ticks all the boxes for what makes a good partner, but women ignore him when he's around. If he's as great as his friends say, why is he still single?
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 26/09/2026
Everyone saw how quickly people could succumb to Poster’s Madness, like an airborne virus…
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 26/09/2026
NEW COLUMN: He ticks all the boxes for what women want, but women ignore him when he’s around. If he’s as great as his friends say, why is he still single? ASK DR. NERDLOVE: If I’m Such A Catch According To My Friends, Then Why Do Women Ignore Me?
doctornerdlove.com
If I'm Such A Catch According To My Friends, Then Why Do Women Ignore Me?
He ticks all the boxes for what makes a good partner, but women ignore him when he's around. If he's as great as his friends say, why is he still single?
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 25/09/2026
From The Archives: Should You Get Back Together With Your Ex?
doctornerdlove.com
Should You Get Back Together With Your Ex?
It can be tempting to rekindle an old flame. But if you're trying to get back together for the wrong reasons, you're about to get burned.
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 25/09/2026
I realize Atlantic gonna Atlantic and Match Group gonna Match but I swear the decisions dating app companies make are designed to give me a stroke. www.theatlantic.com/family/2026/...
theatlantic.com
America’s Biggest Dating Company Is Betting on Trad Values
Match Group thinks young people want to date using old scripts.
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 25/09/2026
From The Archives: I Can’t Date Until I Kick My Porn Habit!
doctornerdlove.com
I Can't Date Until I Kick My Porn Habit!
He's afraid his porn habit is getting in the way of meeting women. Does he really need to kick his "addiction" to find love?
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 25/09/2026
Oh god damn it…
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 25/09/2026
NEW COLUMN: He ticks all the boxes for what makes a good partner, but women ignore him when he’s around. If he’s as great as his friends say, why is he still single? ASK DR. NERDLOVE: If I’m Such A Catch According To My Friends, Then Why Do Women Ignore Me?
doctornerdlove.com
If I'm Such A Catch According To My Friends, Then Why Do Women Ignore Me?
He ticks all the boxes for what makes a good partner, but women ignore him when he's around. If he's as great as his friends say, why is he still single?
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 25/09/2026
Now in early access for my patrons: all of his friends insist that he's a great catch and that women are into him. But if that's true, then why do all the women he sees ignore him or never show any interest otherwise? www.patreon.com/DrNe...
If I'm Such A Catch According To My Friends, Then Why
Do Women Ignore Me? 

Hi Doc, I was reading the letter from the woman who wanted to help her brother find
love, and I...
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 24/09/2026
Now here's the part that causes a lot of people to stop listening - but I'm going to say it anyway: one of those values is often how much they conform to convention, and how strongly they differ and how those differences express themselves. The more that people diverge from convention in some ways - such as having a lot of nerdy or geeky interests - the more likely they are to diverge in other ways... including conventional standards of fashion, style and attractiveness.The more a subculture - whether it's weebs/otaku, goths, gamers, theater kids, you name it - flout convention, the more likely they are to ignore or flout what they see as restrictive or pointless expectations of style or beauty. When you already feel like you're out of the mainstream or see the mainstream as being something you're uninterested in, the less likely you are to conform to what the mainstream expects.
You're more likely to express yourself in ways that feel more authentic to yourself instead of a seemingly arbitrary standard. This can mean styles of clothing that don't follow the "rules" or "standards" - baggier or less form-fitting outfits, clothes that signal tribal or cultural affiliation or membership, etc - and non-typical haircuts, makeup styles (if any), hair color, etc.
It can mean not rigorously trying to fit a narrow definition of "attractive" body types, behavior or even relationship models. This isn't the same as being unattractive; it simply means that they aren't followingThe conflict that comes up - one that you're experiencing - is that many people tend to not see how they're trying to have it both ways. They themselves are unconventional, they position themselves as being outside the mainstream and want credit for their uniqueness, but then expect convention in other aspects of their lives - including
from their partners. They want the clout that comes from having a conventionally attractive partner, to be able to say "I'm the sort of person who can get a conventionally hot girlfriend"
Ạạiạ because it serves as a
reflection of their value in the eyes of the same mainstream society they stand apart from.
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 24/09/2026
Now in early access for my patrons: all of his friends insist that he's a great catch and that women are into him. But if that's true, then why do all the women he sees ignore him or never show any interest otherwise? www.patreon.com/DrNe...
If I'm Such A Catch According To My Friends, Then Why
Do Women Ignore Me? 

Hi Doc, I was reading the letter from the woman who wanted to help her brother find
love, and I...
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 24/09/2026
From The Archives: How Do I Stop Wasting My Time Trying to Meet People?
doctornerdlove.com
How Do I Stop Wasting My Time Trying to Meet People?
He's getting back into dating, but it seems like the only women who like him are the ones who make the first move. How can he meet people more effectively?
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 24/09/2026
From The Archives: Never Run Out Of Things To Talk About
doctornerdlove.com
Never Run Out Of Things To Talk About
Is there anything more painful than an awkward silence? This guide will help you avoid those tense pauses and ensure you never run out of things to talk about.
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 24/09/2026
The cat posting with continue until morale improves
Vincent the ginger Maine Coon is napping on a coffee table, resting his head on some overly fancy stack of coasters that twist into a sculpture when stacked on top of one another. Why do I even have these? Nobody uses them when I throw parties…
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Reposted by Dr. NerdLove
Cultura @culturalgutter.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
"Kev Dooley’sTerms & Conditions (USA, 2026) was the only short–and the last film–I watched at Fantastic Fest this year and it was a delight. I enjoy translation and summoning based-humor. Fun, genderqueer demons are my favorite demons." culturalgutter.com/2026/09/23/f...
culturalgutter.com
Fantastic Fest 2026: Terms & Conditions (USA, 2026)
Kev Dooley’sTerms & Conditions (USA, 2026) was the only short–and the last film–I watched at Fantastic Fest this year and it was a delight. I enjoy translation and summoning b…
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 24/09/2026
NEW COLUMN: They took a chance on someone who’s not the type they’re usually attracted to. Now they feel conflicted: should they keep seeing him despite his looks? ASK DR. NERDLOVE: I’m Not Attracted To Him; Should I Try To Date Him Anyway?
doctornerdlove.com
I’m Not Attracted To Him; Should I Try To Date Him Anyway?
They took a chance on someone who's not the type they're usually attracted to. Bow they feel conflicted: should they keep seeing him despite their looks?
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 23/09/2026
From The Archives: The Art of Selling Yourself (Or: How To Brag Without Being A Jerk)
doctornerdlove.com
The Art of Selling Yourself (Or: How To Brag Without Being A Jerk)
Knowing how to brag properly has it's benefits. Learn how to sell yourself and highlight your virtues and make yourself more attractive without being a jerk!
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 23/09/2026
NOW ON PATREON: They took a chance on someone who's not their usual "type" and there may have been a spark. Now they're not sure how they feel; should they keep seeing them and see if there's more, or is it better to move on and find someone else? www.patreon.com/DrNe...
I’m Not Attracted To Him; Should I Try To Date Him Anyway?

Harris O'Malley
patreon.com/drnerdlove
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Reposted by Dr. NerdLove
Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 23/09/2026
An important step on the road to romance is making sure that you're meeting people who are right for YOU! Let me help you find them. Send in your questions about love, sex and dating to ASK DR. NERDLOVE at doctornerdlove.com/c... or email them to doc@doctornerdlove(dot)com!
Image of a smartphone showing a romantic couple in silhouette against fairy lights in the background. Underneath a reminder notice says "SUBMIT A DATING ADVICE QUESTION!"
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Reposted by Dr. NerdLove
Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 23/09/2026
NEW COLUMN: They took a chance on someone who’s not the type they’re usually attracted to. Now they feel conflicted: should they keep seeing him despite his looks? ASK DR. NERDLOVE: I’m Not Attracted To Him; Should I Try To Date Him Anyway?
doctornerdlove.com
I’m Not Attracted To Him; Should I Try To Date Him Anyway?
They took a chance on someone who's not the type they're usually attracted to. Bow they feel conflicted: should they keep seeing him despite their looks?
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 23/09/2026
From The Archives: Ask Dr. NerdLove: Dating Advice Lightning Round
doctornerdlove.com
Ask Dr. NerdLove: Dating Advice Lightning Round
The Doc had a long week, so he's clearing out some letters that don't normally get featured for some rapid fire advice...
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 23/09/2026
NEW COLUMN: They took a chance on someone who’s not the type they’re usually attracted to. Now they feel conflicted: should they keep seeing him despite his looks? ASK DR. NERDLOVE: I’m Not Attracted To Him; Should I Try To Date Him Anyway?
doctornerdlove.com
I’m Not Attracted To Him; Should I Try To Date Him Anyway?
They took a chance on someone who's not the type they're usually attracted to. Bow they feel conflicted: should they keep seeing him despite their looks?
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Reposted by Dr. NerdLove
Tobias S. Buckell @tobiasbuckell.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I've launched a GoFundMe to help me get my cats to a safer home in Scotland, and you can pay-what-you-want using the GFM system and get 15 of my books as eBooks as a Thank You every Friday as an update! www.gofundme.com/f/help-autho... That's almost 700,000 words of fiction, pay what you want!
gofundme.com
Donate to Help Author Tobias Buckell and His Cats Move to Scotland, organized by Tobias Buckell
Hi, I'm author Tobias S. Buckell, and these are my two cats, P… Tobias Buckell needs your support for Help Author Tobias Buckell and His Cats Move to Scotland
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Reposted by Dr. NerdLove
Alex de Campi @alexdecampi.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
For anyone leaving Tapas. Remember the website doesn’t have to be beautiful or perfect—if you’ve seen the sites kids read scanslations on, you’ll know the only thing that matters is the comic
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 22/09/2026
NOW ON PATREON: They took a chance on someone who's not their usual "type" and there may have been a spark. Now they're not sure how they feel; should they keep seeing them and see if there's more, or is it better to move on and find someone else? www.patreon.com/DrNe...
I’m Not Attracted To Him; Should I Try To Date Him Anyway?

Harris O'Malley
patreon.com/drnerdlove
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 22/09/2026
From The Archives: I Got Hot, But Now I Feel Weird About Myself!
doctornerdlove.com
I Got Hot, But Now I Feel Weird About Myself!
After years of being fat, he's lost weight and put on muscle. But now that he's become more attractive to women, he's feeling worse about his past self!
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 22/09/2026
From The Archives: Avoiding The Friend Zone
doctornerdlove.com
Avoiding The Friend Zone
Afraid of getting the dreaded "Let's Just Be Friends?" You need to learn how guys get stuck in the Friend Zone and how to avoid it in the first place!
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Dr. NerdLove @doctornerdlove.com · 22/09/2026
Y'know, I always feel like I'm being extra because I got a travel mouse for when I take my laptop to a coffee shop or something to work. Then today I saw the guy who brought a laptop stand and external monitor – also with a stand – and is taking up an four-top with his setup.
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