Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Yes, it may be Barbara, but is it *canonical* Barbara? 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 26/09/2026[In Gollum voice, slightly accented] "Penis" 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 15/09/2026make a movie druggy: Indica Jones and the Temple of Dope 010
Reposted by Rubbing Bean✨blondie✨ @southernbomb23.bsky.social · 15/09/2026All my crashouts have been valid 093
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 08/09/2026I currently have an out-of-nowhere bruise above my left nipple that I can't explain away. No matter what I say, people are gonna come away with the conclusion that "Papi like to tweak." 001
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 06/09/2026Just remember. One man's 24K Magic is another man's 24hrs Labor. 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 02/09/2026I once took my shoe off and offered it to a girl, and she smacked it out of my hand. It remains to date my favorite ever interaction with a human being. 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 31/08/2026"I don't wanna hear about my parents' sex life, Bob! Don't tell me about my parents' sex life! Tell me how you're maintaining no-nut status in November. Tell me how that's possible when you're commenting under every Livvy Dunne deepfake and OnlyFans thirst trap THAT POPS UP ON YOUR FY PAGE!!!" 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 26/08/2026No one, not a single soul: 40-year-old moms on Facebook: 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 26/08/2026Sorry I've been MIA. I didn't want to be here. 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 26/08/2026I always wanted to have a girl over at my place. All that changed when I saw one crawling on all fours up my basement steps at 2 in the morning. 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Istg, the Grim Reaper is just rage-bating at this point! 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Dear God, Give us back Dolly, and we'll give you Diddy. 032
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Ok, but like... imagine having IBS and having your location revealed to a serial killer by a rogue fart. 010
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 24/08/2026I miss the 2010s. Back then, we didn't have generative AI making stupid, derivative, dogshit music. We just had The Chainsmokers for that. 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 03/08/2026Last night I had a dream about a picture of Rumi from 'KPop Demon Hunters' going viral for looking like the Matt Damon crying meme from 'The Odyssey,' and it is now my life's goal to see that in person. 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 30/07/2026Anyone who owns a cybertruck is dead to me. 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 24/07/2026Dude in a monster truck pulling up to my bedroom window at 4 o'clock in the morning: "I need a cheeseburger no cheese pls." 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 28/06/2026Just started my Ethel Cain phase a few days ago. 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 28/06/2026Lana Del Ray is the Drake of pop-girlies. Someone had to fucking say it. 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 19/06/2026Death Grips will perform at my inauguration. 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 19/06/2026Name a song that you can rotate counterclockwise to. 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 17/06/2026If as many things were "destroying the west" as people claimed were "destroying the west," the west would be pile of dust by now. 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 13/06/2026Goddammit! I cannot wait to get yinged off my fucking frostnugget tonight! 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 05/06/2026German sausage is literally the wurst food you will ever eat in your life. 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 22/05/2026Me: *genuinely enjoys a piece of media* The Internet: "Um, no. This is insultingly bad actually, and you are a complete idiot if you got any enjoyment from it whatsoever." 011
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 15/05/2026Do the right thing. Steal from James Charles. 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 12/05/2026[To the tune of Michael Jackson's "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough] "Fuck meeeeee In my tiny ass." 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 05/05/2026Nothing in life is consensual anymore. No matter where I go or what I do, I'm getting raped. 010
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 05/05/2026It's a scolf (scorpion-wolf) thing. You wouldn't get it. 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 05/05/2026[The Luke vs. Vader Cloud City duel from 'The Empire Strikes Back,' but it's just Ike and Tina] 000
Reposted by Rubbing BeanGranite Man @granitedhuine.bsky.social · 01/05/2026The sexiest thing a woman can do is be a little weirdo. 212042
Reposted by Rubbing BeanJim @jimstewart.bsky.social · 02/05/2026Easy there, Captain America. We're just shitposting here. 411345
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 01/05/2026No doomposting on my timeline. Negativity is a psyop. 010
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 01/05/2026"Fucking with no rubbers like Catholic rabbits listening to Hopsin" Iykyk 020
Reposted by Rubbing Beanalexis simpson is confused by display name changes @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 29/04/2026Chopped Unc Salad 0379
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 29/04/2026Dear God, Give us back Disco, and we'll give you Bro-Country. 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 28/04/2026Blasting "We Cry Together" and scaring the whities in the Applebee's parking lot. 010
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 28/04/2026Classic Eminem: "First I fucked your mom, and then I fucked your dad, and then I fucked your cat, and then I fucked your goldfish." Modern Eminem: "It go 'Mm-Bop!' when you catch these hands, son! [Hanson]" 010
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 28/04/2026Cursed Zodiac Lore (Part 12/12) Pisces: 1. Showers multiple times a day and still smells like hotdog water 2. Writes inappropriate poetry about mermaids 3. Scares people when they talk 4. Thinks you can only enter Heaven through a glory hole 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 28/04/2026Cursed Zodiac Lore (Part 11/12) Aquarius: 1. Marks their territory with urine 2. Dreams of being jerked off by a robot hand 3. Has an imaginary friend named Groobalk that comes from the planet Mars 4. Is lowkey kind of a sadist 000
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 28/04/2026Cursed Zodiac Lore (Part 10/12) Capricorn: 1. Is the only one at their workplace allowed to change the toilet paper roll 2. Washes their dishes while bathing, because they're ✨️productive✨️ 3. Has an office set up in every room of their house 4. Secretly commits murder in their free time 110
Rubbing Bean @dickthebirthdayboy.bsky.social · 28/04/2026Cursed Zodiac Lore (Part 9/12) Sagittarius: 1. Is an aspiring nudist 2. Does not wash their sex toys 3. Has been arrested multiple times for loitering in the sewer 4. Gives really bad and often illegal advice 000
