iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

Look, I'm no big city lawyer, but I think the first uninteresting number is 6. Or -3, depending on how you go from 0. Maybe I'm just out here demanding more entertainment from my numbers.

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Reposted by David F Porteous

Stilgherrian @stilgherrian.com · 17/08/2026

NEW PODCAST: “The 9pm Clacton and On and On with David F Porteous” @dfpiii.bsky.social (1h00m16s) the9pmedict.com/edict/00275/ Look for “The 9pm Edict” in your podcast app. Like it? Please tell your friends and maybe support the crowdfunder at the9pmedict.com/spring2026.

A square-faced Scottish man in a shirt, tie, and dark suit looks to the right and ponders the fate of the world as he stands in a black void.

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

It's been lost in the chatter, so you might not know that not one single person in Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey is Greek, from the Bronze Age and fictional. Tom Holland, for example, is real and was born in Kingston-Upon-Thames in 1996. What a fucking fraud.

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

Sting is one of those guys that people who know him acknowledge as both a genius and a prick. That's 50% of what I aspire to.

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Reposted by David F Porteous

Stilgherrian @stilgherrian.com · 26/05/2026

NEW PODCAST: “The 9pm Capybara of Hope with David F Porteous” @dfpiii.bsky.social (1h03m00s) the9pmedict.com/edict/00269/ Look for “The 9pm Edict” in your podcast app. Like it? Please tell people, and maybe throw in a tip at the9pmedict.com/relocate/.

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Reposted by David F Porteous

Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 19/05/2026

White people love to be named some shit like Bumper

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 21/04/2026

The mirror universe version of Sir Mixalot - who does not like big butts but can lie - is, for all meaningful purposes, indistinguishable from the original Sir Mixalot. Discuss.

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 13/04/2026

Really, it's been a week of triumphs for JD Vance. I hear he got the Tuesday Wordle on the second guess and netted a free Milky Way from a vending machine mistake. Just W after W.

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Reposted by David F Porteous

Stilgherrian @stilgherrian.com · 29/03/2026

NEW PODCAST: “The 9pm Peak Sheep with David F Porteous” @dfpiii.bsky.social (1h15m38s) the9pmedict.com/edict/00264/ Look for “The 9pm Edict” in your podcast app. Like it? Please tell your friends and maybe support by crowdfunder at the9pmedict.com/relocate.

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 06/03/2026

No idea why the web pulls that image. I don't really understand internets, I've been faking it since '96.

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 18/11/2025

Saw a message - "ChatGPT is down. Now I have to use my brian." Chef's kiss, no notes.

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 11/11/2025

Clearly I've lobbed a hand grenade here. As usual - I apologise for nothing.

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 11/11/2025

Sure. But before you get too impressed, remember anything you build in layers with pasta sheets is a "lasagne" by default, and anything you build in layers can be either or both a "lasagne" or a "trifle" - and this is essentially "an ecumenical matter". Hope that's useful.

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 10/11/2025

I feel like there's a physics-based solution for this. A heat exchange between the "beer jacket" and some "piss trousers" that works to keep your legs warm and your beer cold. Patent pending.

David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 15/10/2025

Phan confirmation is the best, least surprising news of the week.

David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 09/10/2025

Yeah. I hear that. Perfection is the thing that aborted every diary I ever tried to write.

Stilgherrian @stilgherrian.com · 27/09/2025

Reposted by David F Porteous

NEW PODCAST: “The 9pm Uncommon Death Adder with David F Porteous” @dfpiii.bsky.social (1h18m21s) the9pmedict.com/edict/00253/ Look for it in your podcast app of choice. Like it? Please tell your friends and consider throwing in a tip. the9pmedict.com/tip

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 24/09/2025

Thinking about this. I'd bleep the names and let people guess.

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 09/08/2025

It decidedly was not. It also made me realise I do not have the kind of lips that lipstick likes.

David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 07/08/2025

This happens to everyone, right?

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 04/08/2025

This is the weight loss plan we need. Not 10,000 steps, but 50 kicks, 50 punches, 1 hand grenade.

David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 25/07/2025

Passed 70,000 words in the book today. Is this half way? Unclear. It's part of my approach to writing that I know how the book finishes, but I don't know everything that needs to happen between here and there.

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 20/07/2025

Like a week ago "After the Gold Rush" by Neil Young crept into my head. Delightful, honkily-twanky song with a name and context I don't understand. It's very much like an owl that somehow got trapped in a banjo.

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 17/07/2025

Continuously harassing Abbott about these remarks does no-one any good. And - frankly - none of the people who are harassing her have done a fraction of the work she has on antiracism over decades.

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 17/07/2025

The comments of Diane Abbott on the fact that visual minorities experience discrimination in different ways than other minorities are *obviously* true. It isn't antisemitic to say that you can see a black person half a mile away, but you can't tell if someone is Jewish just by looking at them.

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 14/06/2025

Also beside the point - but full tab indents? Abomination.

David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 04/06/2025

Do you think - in all seriousness - sex work would be seen differently if it was all "hand stuff"? Like massage and hairdressing are.

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 04/06/2025

I agree. In which case the arguments for prohibiting it are even worse. If someone is genuinely choosing sex work over a variety of other work choices, it's very difficult (~impossible) to demonstrate social harm.

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 03/06/2025

And frankly, shouldn't people be allowed to sell sex? We're clearly *not* fixing poverty, income equality, housing costs, tertiary education costs, childcare costs. Let's have the morality machine guns pointed at root problems rather than intermediate/poor solutions.

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 03/06/2025

I think the initial premise appeals to people - punish men who buy sex - but that's a political solution. It doesn't actually make women who sell sex any safer, or discourage or disincentivise women selling sex. (Also, a lot of men sell sex, but the discussion is always around heteronormative roles)

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 02/06/2025

...on-street prostitution declined massively in (this is all from memory, I encourage you not to cite me) Denmark between 1994 and 2020 after they introduced a similar law. Because of course it did. Everyone got a mobile phone. It all went online.

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 02/06/2025

Prostitution is "legal" in Scotland for a given value of legal. Regan has been pushing for a bill which would criminalise paying for sex, but not receiving money for sex. It's based on total nonsense - the consultation on the bill was launched with evidence that said that...

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 02/06/2025

Sorry I'm coming to this late. As you might expect, she's an idiot. Hope that helps.

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 28/05/2025

I really wish I remembered anything we talked about. Racist fish sounds great :)

David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 22/05/2025

The AI revolution's greatest achievement might be to help us realise what rubbish we've spent our time on until now - compliance that nobody reads, reports with no effect, a continuous email churn. But so far, we're only learning to pretend to excel at thing that don't matter.

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David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social · 22/05/2025

With alcohol and drug abuse and associated criminality, the root problem is often (I'd even say usually) despair rather than chemical addiction. So perhaps they should try banning people from feeling worthless, lonely, hopeless, etc. Just ban "being sad" in the county.

Raygan @ramblindragon.bsky.social · 22/05/2025

Reposted by David F Porteous

This is a monstrosity.

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I think we're talking past each other. I wish you well, but let's not talk about this anymore.

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And the Israeli gov funding ads was reported by the BBC - and I think isn't disputed. I don't think the Ukraine gov were doing the same thing. The end result, for me, seems to be - as I said - not in the spirit of the competition.

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‘It is time to ask if the rules allow abuse’: broadcasters call for overhaul of Eurovision voting after Israeli near win

I really don't see this as Jewish issue - and I understand that can be difficult to believe from anyone online. I think the phone vote vs Spotify listens is interesting, as are phone vote numbers in Belgium. The Guardian covers this + political difficulties www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio...

theguardian.com

Questions around social media campaigns prompt several nations to demand a ‘complete review’ of how the contest’s public vote works

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Bending over backwards to make something seem antisemitic? How did you even see my post?

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So, obviously, I understand your point. But it genuinely does seem like an Israeli government agency was buying targeted advertising to encourage people to vote for their entry. This is not against the rules, per se, but it does feel against the spirit of the contest.

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I'm not a big conspiracy theorist. But... I think... maybe... it's possible... Israel tried to fix the Eurovision Song Contest. That's crazy though - right? RIGHT?