david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 25/08/2026and peep that date, exactly one month into lockdown 010
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 23/08/2026@abbydenton.com I come from across time and space and platform, to bring you one of your own absolute bangers. I just remembered it, and had to hunt it down, and it's even funnier than I remembered it being. 1135
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 23/08/2026even by comic book standards it is absolutely insane that he is a senator 110
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 24/07/2025the hulkster www.youtube.com/shorts/-_e7J...youtube.comIT’S NOT HOT!!YouTube video by WWE Vault 010
Reposted by david.bDylan Williams @dylanwilliams.bsky.social · 27/06/2025The difference between this and Nazi propaganda against Jews is that this is AI-generated. 23086201878
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 27/06/2025girl in front of me at 7-11 had her bf on facetime, and was showing him the different slurpee flavors so he could pick which ones to mix together. so, love is still real, if anyone was wondering 0295
Reposted by david.bboocanan « COMMISSIONS OPEN!!! » @boocanan.bsky.social · 25/06/2025eric adams receiving the phone call and glumly returning back to what he was doing - standing outside and getting shocked by lightning hundreds of thousands of times over and over 215430
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 17/06/2025I am watching Captain America 4, and if this is how actual humans are going to write movies, just let AI do it because this is embarrassing 000
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 13/06/2025contemplating the vastness of the outdoors and the twittering of the birds 010
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 13/06/2025Oohh so this explains why my cool nephews are always saying "oh that guy totally declaims about Poe's raven" 010
Reposted by david.bdavid.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 12/11/2024She almost made it out of her pen before falling completely asleep 011
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 27/05/2025'Fear Street: Prom Queen' is fine, but "We've been going out for two months. I know her better than anyone" is a perfect line 000
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 22/05/2025an uneasy momentary peace, the air filled with the sound of intense chewing noises 020
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 20/05/2025Every other Star Wars thing should be *ashamed* at how good Andor is 000
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 15/05/2025this can work if the Doubting Thomas sequence is 45 minutes of Thomas thoroughly probing the wounds of the Lord complete with ASMR-style sound efffects 010
Reposted by david.bSophia Babai @swingingstorm.bsky.social · 08/05/2025Gentle reminder that the world has billions of people who are all capable of making our own bad decisions, and India and Pakistan going to war cannot be blamed on Trump or Israel or whoever else is your go-to villain. Unless your go-to villain is the British. You can absolutely blame the British. 3386
Reposted by david.bDepravity Pike @gravity-pike.bsky.social · 10/05/2025"We'll just terraform Mars," they insist, unable to terraform Earth, a planet that is already perfect except it's like 2° too warm. 5465481947
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 11/05/2025How have They Might Be Giants never written a song about siphonophorae 000
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 30/04/2025www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvNo...youtube.comKids in the Hall: Three for the MoonYouTube video by Clips in the Hall 000
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 29/04/2025"...Be cunning and full of tricks, and your people shall never be destroyed." www.earth.com/news/omiltem...earth.comOmiltemi rabbit comes back to life after 120 years without a traceThe Omiltemi rabbit, which had been missing for 120 years, has been rediscovered in the Sierra Madre del Sur. 000
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 22/04/2025elon musk is who elliot rodger would have turned into if he'd won all those lotto tickets 010
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 15/04/2025lush fuckin rules man I swear by their shampoo and toothy tabs 020
Reposted by david.bQasim Rashid, Esq. @qasimrashid.com · 15/04/202512 Dem Senators and 48 Dem House members voted for the Laken Riley Act—allowing US Govt to deport immigrants on the mere accusation of a crime. As you see those 60 Dems complain about Mahmoud Khalil, Rumeysa Ozturk, or Kilmar Abrego Garcia, among many more—please know they enabled this fascism. 402132064379
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 15/04/2025I honestly wasn't sure if he was praising or criticizing himself; "not provocative" is a wonderful self-own 000
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 15/04/2025I go to see the doctor, tell him I'm depressed. Says he has the cure -- treatment is simple. Says go to the desert. Says there's a tortoise on its back, baking in the hot son. Wants to know why I'm not helping it. But doctor, I say. Let me tell you about my mother. 010
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 11/04/2025There are occasions where my wife has told me I was right about something, but I have read Steinbeck's The Pearl, and know the power of rare and destructive wealth; I cast such boons back into the sea 000
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 10/04/2025either someone just starts kneecapping these two-bit motherfuckers at the door, or literally the whole country is going to burn. but, you know, decorum and all that. 042
Reposted by david.bMatt McDaniel @themattmcd.bsky.social · 09/04/2025In the X-Files episode “Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose,” a serial killer keeps going to psychics to ask them why he is murdering people. And finally Clyde gives him the answer: because he’s a homicidal maniac. Sometimes the simplest answers explain everything. 717721
Reposted by david.bAhhhhh @nerdjpg.com · 09/04/2025Dropping a major identity thing on your parents once a year keeps them humble and reminds them you are in control of your own life 1171827
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 05/04/2025Cleaning out grandparents house, does anyone want a disnenema kit 000
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 05/04/2025My age range is "went to public school before active shooter drills, but after nuclear war drills" 000
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 03/04/2025English is great because 'fish bowl' and 'bowl of fish' aren't interchangeable 000
Reposted by david.bSatanic Manic @killhamster.bsky.social · 02/04/2025We should just Truman show every politician and start over 0101
Reposted by david.bAhhhhh @nerdjpg.com · 31/03/2025I will simply convince a party that is actually a private company dependent on billionaire donations and capitalist media to abandon their fake “electability” concerns and become a functioning democratic entity 1354985
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 29/03/2025the new charisma build that's breaking political meta 000
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 29/03/2025when I'm forced to accept a complimentyoutube.comWet Hot American Summer [2001] | Paul RuddYouTube video by David Webber 000
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 28/03/2025you know, many very loyal and beautiful people are saying that we "need" Greenland. And I thought, need? We don't NEED Greenland, do we? But we do want it. And if there's one thing you should know about us, it's that we don't NEED anything, do we, folks? No ... we do want, though, don't we? 000
Reposted by david.bHannah Riley Fernandez @hannahcrileyy.bsky.social · 26/03/2025a bunch of government goons from ICE/HSI showed up to an elementary school in DC this morning and tried to detain a staff member in the parking lot but the person's colleagues intervened and stopped it and let that be a reminder to all of us that we can do that 373366943
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 27/03/2025"see, got a lot of gods growin' here. gonna have, uh, an infest ... ah, a whole pantheon, if'n you don't do somethin bout. Now, me, I don't mind em. good shade in the summer, and summa the craziest stone fruits you'll ever eat. hain't the gods what're the problem, hear? it's what they attract." 020
david.b @davidbmajors.bsky.social · 27/03/2025this was actually where I first learned who El DeBarge wastheonion.comAfter a Long, Hard Campaign, The Three Candidates Head Into The Home StretchBill Clinton is leading most polls by about 15 percent, but that hasn’t stopped Bob Dole and El DeBarge. With just days remaining in the 1996 race, and with the president enjoying what appears to be a... 061
Reposted by david.bBetter Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 27/03/2025What if the secret to winning elections is somehow Trump's syntax. We need a guy to say stuff like "But we're going to abolish billionaires and we'll be doing it very soon. They'll be paying very high taxes but it'll be very fair. And frankly they haven't paid taxes in a very long time" 166116551645
