Reposted by @custardchris.bsky.social
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![Comic by Stephen Collins for the Guardian. Script as follows:
Scene is a British WOODLAND by a RIVER. A NATURALIST is stood next to a cage, and TV NEWS REPORTERS are filming him and the cage.
1
NATURALIST:
And now It is my great honour
2
NATURALIST:
to reintroduce the first wild beaver
back into Britain
3
[Cut to the BEAVER’S CAGE. Its door is open and the Beaver is leaned nonchalantly up against the opening, smoking a cigarette.]
4
BEAVER:
Well, well, well.
5
BEAVER:
Look who's come crawling back.
6
BEAVER:
Got a rubbish ecosystem have ya?
7
BEAVER:
Not happy with the *critical anti-flood infrastructure* engineered by the flippin *badgers*?
8
BEAVER:
I almost didn't recognise you without one of my ancestors on your head…
9
BEAVER:
First you wipe us out… now you ask us to come back and build dams for free…
You actually expect me to be *pleased* don’t ya?
NATURALIST:
I'm so sorry I…I…
10
BEAVER:
“Ooh la la, the Brits have come crawling back…”
Do I look like *Michel flippin’ Barnier*?
11
NATURALIST:
I-if there’s some kind of… *remuneration* we could offer I-I’m sure…
12
BEAVER [throwing cigarette to the ground]:
Unlimited pond weed, two tickets to Abba Voyage.
NATURALIST:
Done.
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreihs2p5lw7psgwmqpzruuvd42k54oippf6wwx5glghmewzjj4w7tne)
