iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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This year's run of Swimfans: Bloodbath has begun and I'm so delighted that they once again entrust me to make a theme for them! I went for a spooky, mysterious instrumental boom bap vibe and I'm really quite proud of what I came up with! You can listen to Swimfans wherever you get your podcasts!

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cryptid handjob @cryptidhandjob.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Lord help us we’re back on our bloodshit

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cryptid handjob @cryptidhandjob.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

The Make-a-Wish Foundation does wonderful things.

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cryptid handjob @cryptidhandjob.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

[gay daniel plainview] one night I'm gonna come to you inside of your house, where ever you're sleeping, and I'm gonna give you throat

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josh mckenzie @amonns.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

for completion’s sake, here’s the key illos in the pitch too which you’ve seen already, but now they can be all together. There’s also design materials which aren’t quite as eye-catching do we use hashtags on here? #comics

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pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 24/01/2025

I can’t think of a worse place to get deloused than in a comatorium

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D. Allan Drummond @dadrummond.art · 04/09/2026

Night eyes 😎 Finally got proper pictures of this amazing phenomenon! Mantises change their eye color (and light sensitivity) at night by transporting pigments from the surface of each compound eye unit toward the deeper eye region. Same female Tenodera sinensis, two different times. #bugsky

A female Tenodera sinensis mantis with dark black eyes against a light background, seen from very close up.

A female Tenodera sinensis mantis with green/brown eyes against a light background, seen from very close up to show the details of her face. The pseudopupil is clearly visible on her left eye, facing the camera.

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cryptid handjob @cryptidhandjob.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Thinking about one of my favorite photo series ever - Justine Kirland's Girl Pictures (1997-2002)

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Patrick Cosmos @veryimportant.lawyer · 22/08/2026

[drunk as hell trying to remember joanna newsom's name] natalie harp

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cryptid handjob @cryptidhandjob.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

If you subscribe to Swimfans right now, you can tell all of your friends you were a listener before I proved that chupacabras are real

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Swimfans @swimfanspod.com · 13/08/2026

This week on the show, we talk the fantasy of abundance and community, befriending crows, and the beauty and grace of flesh buses in 1988’s MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO! linktr.ee/swimfans patreon.com/swimfans

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Richard Perez @skinnyships.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

Spore Corp

Illustration of Oddish, Gloom and Vileplume surrounded by circles

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cryptid handjob @cryptidhandjob.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

🟢 Uncut Sweet Potato (Hosting)

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Swimfans @swimfanspod.com · 16/07/2026

This week on Swimfans, we celebrate Jennifer’s birthday and look back on formative film experiences, the power of a drifting crane shot, and we think about death and get sad and stuff in 2009’s ENTER THE VOID! linktr.ee/swimfans patreon.com/swimfans

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Addy !! @addark.bsky.social · 03/07/2024

you can't even smoke at the fireworks stand anymore, because of woke

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Swimfans @swimfanspod.com · 29/06/2026

Experience the faux wood paneling, used dip bottles and strange odors in the Uncle Zone as Heroes Three’s Matthew Tucciarone joins us to talk 1981 animated anthology film HEAVY METAL! linktr.ee/swimfans patreon.com/swimfans

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cryptid handjob @cryptidhandjob.bsky.social · 15/06/2026

grey aliens: psychic tall whites: psychic/normal reptilians: psychic/dragon insectoids: psychic/bug chupacabra: poison/dark bigfoot: normal yeti: normal/ice mothman: psychic/flying jersey devil: dragon/flying loch ness monster: water/ice ghosts: ghost

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Swimfans @swimfanspod.com · 11/06/2026

It all returns to nothing. It all comes tumbling down. This week on Swimfans, we talk the profane and the divine, the power of sigils and esoterica, and the horrors of being a discrete person in the world in 1997's THE END OF EVANGELION! linktr.ee/swimfans patreon.com/swimfans

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cryptid handjob @cryptidhandjob.bsky.social · 11/06/2026

This movie made me want a motorcycle so bad.

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Rebecca R Helm @rebeccarhelm.bsky.social · 10/04/2026

This deep sea creature is as sharp & clear as broken class, & can grow as long as your hand. This giant amphipod, (Cystisoma) only has two colored body parts: the dense orange stomach/egg pouch, & two MASSIVE eyes, which are a glittering holographic orange layer completely covering its head. 📽️ MBARI

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cryptid handjob @cryptidhandjob.bsky.social · 29/05/2026

My (9F) swordsman (8M) is spending dozens of hours collecting gold tokens from spiders instead of rescuing me.

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cryptid handjob @cryptidhandjob.bsky.social · 24/04/2026

note that arnold has four arms implying that helga is venerating him as a perverse hindu deity

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cryptid handjob @cryptidhandjob.bsky.social · 23/04/2026

you’re in his dms i’m building a simulacra of him out of used chewing gum we are not the same

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cryptid handjob @cryptidhandjob.bsky.social · 19/04/2026

One of the most devastating things anyone has ever said to me was, and I mean this very sincerely, “you look like a fan of the strokes” What now, colleague from grad school?!

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cryptid handjob @cryptidhandjob.bsky.social · 19/04/2026

godzilla would 100% eat Josh but the mothman would be my friend. we’d queen out, prank call boys, and chart the movement of every atom from the big bang until the heat death of the universe

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cryptid handjob @cryptidhandjob.bsky.social · 15/04/2026

me: yeah, it’s Swimfans with an “s.” like the erotic thriller for teens. keep scrolling a bit.. ah, there it is! what did I say? famous, right? bohemian grove guard [speaking latin]: this one dies first

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Swimfans @swimfanspod.com · 19/03/2026

Welcome to SWIMFANS: UNKNOWN PLEASURES! This week on the pod, we get mad about rent prices, value the inexplicable homies, and ponder about the sturdiness of cover walls in 2024’s CLOUD! #kiyoshikurosawa #cloud linktr.ee/swimfans patreon.com/swimfans

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Swimfans @swimfanspod.com · 12/03/2026

Still coming to you live from the red carpet, we dive back into the rest of the Best Picture nominees: 2025’s ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER, SECRET AGENT, SENTIMENTAL VALUE, SINNERS, and TRAIN DREAMS! linktr.ee/swimfans patreon.com/swimfans #onebattleafteranother #secretagent #sentimentalvalue #sinners

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Swimfans @swimfanspod.com · 05/03/2026

Put on your sparkliest dress, dear listener: it’s time once again for OSCARMANIA! This week, we dip into some of the Best Picture nominees: 2025’s BUGONIA, F1, FRANKENSTEIN, HAMNET and MARTY SUPREME! linktr.ee/swimfans patreon.com/swimfans #oscars #bugonia #f1 #frankenstein #hamnet #martysupreme

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Laura Jedeed @laurajedeed.bsky.social · 28/02/2026

The world could be such a nice place if we allowed it. It's all so goddamn unnecessary. There's no need for any of it. It's so beautiful here. It should be so cool to be alive

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Swimfans @swimfanspod.com · 26/02/2026

This week on the show, we return to de Palma and discuss cross-genre and split-screen jaunts, shifting your karmic debt to some random guy via magic, and even find the time to discuss interesting choices in skirts and shoes in 2002's FEMME FATALE! linktr.ee/swimfans patreon.com/swimfans

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Swimfans @swimfanspod.com · 26/01/2026

Anime Club is back in session! This time, we discuss letting your passions consume you, movies keeping the audience at emotional distance, and the necessity of fiercely kissing your athletic rivals in 2025’s 100 METERS! linktr.ee/swimfans patreon.com/swimfans

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cryptid handjob @cryptidhandjob.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

Just finished my taxes. Gosh, adulting is so har- suddenly I hear a rustling of foliage in a nearby thicket of pine. Against my better judgement, I pull back branches to reveal none other than the Chupacabra of Hispanic folklore. It snarls as it drinks the last drops of blood from a desiccated goat.

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cryptid handjob @cryptidhandjob.bsky.social · 19/01/2026

“You should have 1.5 your annual salary saved in your 401k by age 35.” Oh wow that’s so interesting did you know that the Bantu cryptid Mokele-Mbembe is rumored to be 16 to 32 feet tall and resembles long extinct sauropods ??

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cryptid handjob @cryptidhandjob.bsky.social · 12/01/2026

sorry babe the In Rainbows bed sheets stay on

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Megan @low-poly-wife.bsky.social · 29/12/2025

Various figments of collapse made possible by American friends of the NGA, The American Australian Association, UIC school of art & art history and @craigneeson.bsky.social

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Swimfans @swimfanspod.com · 25/12/2025

Merry Christmas folks! On the last episode of 2025, we talk perpetual golden hours, friendships between women, and music to walk to in 2015’s TANGERINE! linktr.ee/swimfans patreon.com/swimfans

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Swimfans @swimfanspod.com · 23/12/2025

Happy holidays doves! Get tinseled the fuck up with us in the last Patreon ep of the year as we celebrate the Christmas season and talk about 1965’s A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS and 1966’s HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS! linktr.ee/swimfans patreon.com/swimfans

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cryptid handjob @cryptidhandjob.bsky.social · 07/09/2023

For sale: my idiot son Édouard’s gaming chair. Some merlot and brie stains. I’ve sent him to the Foreign Legion to die in combat.

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GIFS GALORE @gifs-bot.bsky.social · 06/12/2025

MAMMALS/TIGER5.GIF

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Swimfans @swimfanspod.com · 04/12/2025

This week on the pod, we live our mantra of Watch Recklessly and discuss a coven of ghouls, how many women you can bump into before it stops being an accident, and the joys of editing in 2013’s CRUSH! linktr.ee/swimfans patreon.com/swimfans

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