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Crutnacker

@crutnacker.bsky.social

880 followers 1.4K following 2.8K posts

Social media outfluencer and Only Fans earlobe model. Banned in 51 states. Pisces. Once made Steve Martin laugh.

Posts Replies Media

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

It leaves out his time in prison.

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Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

As bad as this reads, I suspect it’s going to be much worse when it all comes out. He’s spent his life doing shady things and hurting others.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

It’s what Parents Just Don’t Understand was about.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

He looks like the before picture in a bypass surgery brochure.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Joseph Gerbils

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Thank God Tapper asks the hard questions. We could have had a disaster in 2024!

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Pretty upset to find out that Digger isn’t just two hours of Tom Cruise picking his nose.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Mark Burnett doesn’t get nearly the credit he deserves for destroying everything nice.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Oh how I’ve missed mass shootings.

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Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Does he know Barack Obama said nobody should take four of those big ones a day? Because someone should tell him.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Digger makes a lot more sense when you realize it's just a repurposed Mission Impossible script.

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Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

"Can't we limit the human - men contact first?" -- Women.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Nothing like having to make up a fix for the turf.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Worst part is I'm in a market where it got delayed, so I'm behind in seeing how bad it is.

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Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

He forgot how to do the impersonation in preparation.

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Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

This is terrible.

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Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Did James Austin Johnson forget how to do Trump? #SNL If not, can he? Jesus, another season of this lame shit.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Good to see the Ravens kept the clock management of John Harnbaugh.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Ravens looking like shit today.

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Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Terrible call by the refs on the Ravens.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Is it just me or it everything full of sadness right now.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Lizzy Borden took an axe Gave her mother 40 whacks When she saw what she had done Said “I really should have sharpened this before I started.”

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

May he get what he thinks his family deserves.

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Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Gonna be more with everyone selling their catalog.

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Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

My brain hurts a lot.

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Reposted by Crutnacker

MeidasTouch @meidastouch.com · 16/09/2026

Nailed it as always, sir

Screenshot of a Wall Street Journal opinion column by Peter Navarro, published March 12, 2026, headlined “Iran War Will Lower Energy Prices,” with the subheadline: “The risk of regime violence has long been baked into the global price of oil and gas—and everything else.”

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

BREAKING: Ed Sheeran popularity drops below that of gas prices.

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Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Wonder how many artists are going to stay with this promoter in the wake of Ed Sheeran claiming they’re why he kicked Macklemore off the tour. www.messinatouring.com

messinatouring.com

Messina Touring – Concert Tour and Live Music Promoter

A leader in live music with over two decades of record-breaking tours for top artists, redefining live entertainment with an artist-first, tech-forward approach for worldwide touring.

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Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Ed Sheeran’s look, music, and politics are all identical.

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Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Chuck Grassley looks like the ghost of Mitch McConnell.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Why do I feel like we’re living inside the Aristocrats joke?

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

One of these days awards shows will finally realize we don’t need lyrics to go with our death montage.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

When you run from your wrestling match to the Emmys.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

This has been true since at least the mid 80s.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Sally Field….. Still hot.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Just tell them you’re taking a series of stills thirty times a second.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Example: Every NBC Olympics.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Every time I see Michael J Fox, I am reminded that hardly anyone remembers who Rush Limbaugh is anymore.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Well, even if the new iPhone Duo doesn’t pay off, at least Apple got expertise in how to fold.

Reposted by Crutnacker

Hoodlum 🇺🇸 @nothoodlum.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Mitch McConnell gave a 20-minute speech at Trumpz-A-Loser, but only Scott Jennings saw it.

Reposted by Crutnacker

Covie @covie93.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

john fetterman is the first rat in history to climb onto a sinking ship.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

C'mon guys, it's just till midterms. And if not, $5000 will fill up your tank for a week or two.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

That awkward moment when AI turns Charlie Kirk into Jesus.

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Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

What I were all just NPCs living inside Rockstar Games' Grand Theft America?

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Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Perhaps the problem is that the world has a lot of Nazis and tech bro capitalism is willing to shrug it off or embrace it. Moving my posts to Compuserve.

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Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

My list of presidents has Incompetent Asshole at 45 and 47.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Feels like one of those bits where someone looks around the room to come up with a name.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

The opening of Saving Private Ryan. The rest of the movie is a muddled mess with a horrible ending.

Crutnacker @crutnacker.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Seems to be a national trend.

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