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andy, crump

@crumpandy.bsky.social
250 followers 251 following 971 posts

author, journalist, critic, token white guy; swagger-heavy, cutting and confrontational; trying to do better. words: Paste Magazine, JoySauce, The Daily Beast, Time, The A.V. Club, Salon, Cool Material, Pop Heist, and on it goes. agcrump.wordpress.com

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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 3h
whole cast is gonna run rampant through a studio backlot whupping each others' asses like it's the climax of BLAZING SADDLES
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utopia deferred @utopia-defer.red · 9h
destroying Greek life would be useful for stemming an entire mode of social reproduction which, as I must remind everyone, was born of the confederate south. Greek life prides itself on keeping the tradition of rape alive in more than one form. Sometimes literal.
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ali alkhatib @ali-alkhatib.com · 20h
shutting down frat houses won't end rape culture, but it will disorganize a lot of rapists, and i think that's probably worth doing if only to destabilize what is apparently an ecology of organizations that functionally exist to rape women per the whole "purpose of a system is what it does" insight.
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 20h
I swear to fucking God, M. Emmet Walsh’s corpse shot in TALES FROM THE CRYPT’s “Collection Completed” had more life in it than this actual real human being here.
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
There is no MR INBETWEEN on That List, and I know each of us is up in arms about this omission or that one; but even MR INBETWEEN appears to be slept on by critics criticizing the list, whereas I happen to think it's one of the best series given us in TV's modern golden age.
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Stella Sacco @antlervel.vet · 03/12/2025
Your hands are covered in little men. And the little men can make you sick if you don’t give them a bath. Sometimes they make other people sick too. Please give the little men a bath! I’m not crazy! Just listen to me! Bathe the little men on your hands! This is real! Get the men wet, you fools!
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Ken Lowery @kenlowery.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Normalize calling your friends "hoss"
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
when you have way too much money and also do not cook for yourself
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I wrote this piece for JoySauce about NOTHING'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN TO ME around the time of its release, and we decided to hold onto it for her birthday, which was yesterday. She'll never read this post, but all the same, happy birthday to Mitski!
joysauce.com
Nothing's about to happen to Mitski (because she's offline) - JoySauce.com
As the singer-songwriter turns 36, we look back at her career and how she defied the odds by finding success while staying off social media.
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
The good news: this ploy won't pay off. We're at the point where a key driver behind the Republican administration's popularity and drop in support is that people are sick of being lied to regarding what they can see with their own eyes. "Opposition to data centers is a Chinese psyop" is 100% that.
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I know that 404 article about Copilot prompts - which you should all read! - is (rightly) going around this morning, but I briefly need your attention for this urgent bulletin: I just participated in a press day that was *running ahead of schedule*. That shit *never* happens. And now: actual news.
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Alissa Wilkinson @alissawilkinson.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Go to a museum, read some books!!
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Guys: tell artists that you like how much you like their work. I am not in the same field (or tier of success, frankly) as Brianna, but I can attest that a positive remark about my work is a balm. Also, she is a *really* good artist.
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
For clarity, the reason that he thinks this is that nobody goes for the throat when he tries this shit, and his corruption has gone on unchallenged* for so long that he thinks he can act with impunity. And as long as people refuse to sack up and throw hands in court, he’s right.
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Rachel Chatrooms @crabitha.slutmo.de · 27/09/2026
Gee I wonder why the nerds would be trying to filter out the ones who don’t want to be sluts
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
⬇️ eyyy, I wrote this!
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Well: if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Film you’ve watched more than six times with a GIF
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Grateful to cover THE SCOUT, a favorite debut of mine in 2026, for @popheist.com; a charming, sharp, often dangerous movie about the people we don’t think of when we watch movies.
popheist.com
‘The Scout’ Presents Unsung Heroes With Sobering Reality
Paula González-Nasser's admiration for the location scout, being both her protagonist and a job she’s done herself, is undeniable.
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Alex Kittle @alexxkittle.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Our opening night film is Ann Oren’s gorgeous magical realist relationship drama OBJET A! Closing night is experimental punk rock superhero flick MATAPANKI! I’ve been working hard on this for months and I’m very excited!!!! www.findingbrightfilmfestival.com/2026-program
Objet A posterMatapanki poster
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Alex Kittle @alexxkittle.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I keep forgetting to promote it but HEY Boston-area film weirdos! Come to the new Finding Bright Film Fest at @capitol-theatre.bsky.social in November! We’ve programmed a lineup of fun, bizarre, emotional, experimental, international films for YOU 🌝 www.findingbrightfilmfestival.com/2026-program
findingbrightfilmfestival.com
2026 Program — Finding Bright Film Festival
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
…so it’s like really bad sex?
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Kendra "Gloom is My Beat" Pierre-Louis @kendrawrites.com · 26/09/2026
However (you rightly) feel about Arnold as a human, as a governor etc. He was raised (literally and culturally) by people who had been Nazis. He saw their impact firsthand. He knew ball.
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Spoke with Poh Si Teng for JOYSAUCE about her very good, very difficult to watch documentary AMERICAN DOCTOR, which quite plainly showcases the carnage inflicted by Likud and the Israeli military's missile strikes against Gaza hospitals. Not for the faint of heart, but essential filmmaking.
joysauce.com
Documentarian Poh Si Teng looks for optimism in Palestine - JoySauce.com
Her new film, "American Doctor," follows three physicians doing their part to offset the genocide in Gaza.
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
jesus fucking christ
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
My physics teacher, who happens to be a wonderful published sci-fi author, named a dessert after me (“Crump pudding“) in one of his short stories. So, something food related. A Sicilian pasta dish, in honor of my heritage, because I’m a traditional kinda guy.
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
“The truth about Mayor Mamdani is that he’s cool, but nowhere near as cool as his mother. Anyways, bring me my handcuffs, I’m going to send myself to prison now.”
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Not this DEATHGASM 2 press release conveniently omitting Jason Lei Howden's name from the credits, *boy* is this PR company aware of the stink he still carries 7 years after outing himself as an abusive large-diameter asshole.
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Late night share: it's Maggie Cheung's birthday today! And, fun fact, I spoke with a Metrograph programmer* for JoySauce in March about their Days Of Being Maggie Cheung series**; felt like this was the right time to get into it.
joysauce.com
Happy birthday to the incomparable Maggie Cheung! - JoySauce.com
On her 62nd birthday, we're taking a look back at her career and awe-inspiring, chameleonic acting abilities.
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
It’s very simple and it’s been said over and over but I guess it needs saying continuously: if you deem one group too small to have equal rights you are enabling fascism, not fighting it. The people saying Dems are GREAT on trans rights are not paying attention and/or saying stuff like this.
Nichole Hiltz
The Democrats defend the Kennedy Center but not trans people.
A building.

@treewarrior.bsky....
maybe because defending everything about a super small minority of the population is not worth losing to fascists
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Zeroisanumber @zeroisanumber.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I will drag you down with me if you try and shove my trans pals in the meatgrinder. I'm not going to feed one group to the fire to save myself both because that's vile and because it will never stop with just trans folks. Get it through your head that they're coming for all of us.
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I adored the new SHAUN THE SHEEP movie, and I look forward to hearing, years from now, from adults who can point to it as the germinating event for their love of horror. An absolute gem. For @popheist.com:
popheist.com
'Shaun the Sheep: The Beast of Mossy Bottom' Is a Horror Hoot
'The Beast of Mossy Bottom' makes a good argument for keeping stop-motion and horror stories alive in this age of AI slop.
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
RESIDENT EVIL: ***1/2. Very good, very fun, and I want to pinch Austin Abrams' cheeks in between throttling him, but those of you calling this Cregger's best movie are out of your running-through-an-electric-fence mind.
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The Salt Lake Tribune @sltrib.com · 17/09/2026
“My family is not a cautionary tale; we’re a predictable result of how U.S. health policy treats one vaccine,” Kayti Sullivan writes in an op-ed.
sltrib.com
Voices: A bat in my sink revealed a dark truth about our healthcare system
“My family is not a cautionary tale; we’re a predictable result of how U.S. health policy treats one vaccine,” Kayti Sullivan writes in an op-ed.
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Lisa Guerrero @lisaguerrero.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Not only did I meet Robert Kraft, I worked for him. His kid Jonathan asked me to “remove the black music” from my gameday playlist in ‘94 & I refused so they fired me. I was the cheerleader director at the time.  I sued them for wrongful termination and won. So yes, I know that motherfucker. 
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
when your pitch is of the same substance as every man's plea to his spouse *not* to divorce him for forgetting their anniversary for the second year in a row, you know things are dire
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jamelle @jamellebouie.net · 16/09/2026
yes. i would wager that these people genuinely believe that the country is MAGA and that there is a vast and untapped audience to be appealed to. incidentally, these people also exist in an impenetrable bubble of sycophants.
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dxmnkd316 @dxmnkd316.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
My brain can’t handle longyud, the sankey chart, these feet, and kash patel horse posts all in one day
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
BREAKING: The Style Boyz will no longer be opening for Ed Sheeran.
Jorma Taccone, Andy Samberg, and Akiva Schaffer in POPSTAR
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
MARROW DEEP snuck up on me, as did the offer to cover it for the fine folks at @pastemagazine.bsky.social. But it's for the best; I needed time to sit with it, and with the grief I've accrued over the last 2 years and 4 personal losses. If you ask me, it's Mastodon's best release in about a decade.
pastemagazine.com
Review: Mastodon, 'Marrow Deep'
Paste Magazine is your source for the best music, movies, TV, comedy, videogames, books, comics, craft beer, politics and more. Discover your favorite albums and films.
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
So, 1) this is a really sharp video from @this-is-mallory.bsky.social, and I recommend you give it (and her other videos) a look; but also, 2) health / nutrition / fitness influencers are some of the weirdest little motherfuckers on the planet, and let me tell you, the competition is *packed*
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Anni Jyn @annijyn.com · 08/09/2026
the artist 🥀 the art ✨
a mirror selfie of anni, a white woman with long dark wavy hair reaching down to her hips and tattoos on her arms. she is wearing a strappy red dress with buttons down the middle and a four leaf clover necklacea pale green woman with dark green wavy hair and curved brown horns coming out of her head is looking over her shoulder, the background is a rich wine red with an oval of yellow behind the green woman. stars dotted around are cut out of the yellow oval
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Katie Hinde @mammalssuck.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
"The whole “Oh no, our models went rogue” thing … When a bridge collapses, you don’t analyze whether the bridge was ethical or sentient or why it decided to collapse. You ask, who is the person who built this bridge to be so flimsy?" www.wired.com/story/one-of...
wired.com
One of AI’s Fiercest Critics Says All the Doom Talk Is ‘Meant to Distract Us’
Timnit Gebru argues that AI companies are stoking fears of extinction to avoid discussing actual harms, like autonomous weapons.
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
saw what day it is on the calendar and am sad that i don't have the luxury of time to bake a cake, burn in the hottest pits of Hell, Charlie Kirk
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
"that horror film is too niche to cover" and "we have staffers who are passionate about horror cinema" can't co-exist as two true statements coming from any individual film outlet, and this is why, to be honest, so much horror cinema coverage today sucks
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
AP picked the exact right photo for this, old sack of guts here looks like a bullfrog croaking mid-shit, probably a good idea by now to throw his dookie-crusted ass in jail forever
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Donald Trump, re-elected
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
HOPE: ****1/2. I recall complaints about the CG in this movie from early reactions, and you know what, I think if that's your complaint, then you don't fucking deserve good movies and you might even deserve to be tried in The Hague. Anyways I'm over the moon about it.
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andy, crump @crumpandy.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
RT if you've never had a tab of ChatGPT open, period.
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s. e. smith @sesmith.lol · 08/09/2026
I live for the ferocity of human connection, not content for the content god. You should try it sometime.
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