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@crowbar.wtf
7.1K followers 6K following 25K posts

CHEF. Food. Photography. Cookbook Author. Citizen Journalist. Insane Gourmiac. Vociferous Valkyrie. Cook Tease. VanDoll. (gomichild/Crowbar Jones elsewhere) Melbourne/Naarm UTC+ 10 🌏

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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 5h
Memphis fell in love with Poppy today. And yes once again he had to be carried home from the park. #MemphisTheMalshi #puppylove
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 11h
Sumo Mandarins #food #melbourne #photography
Mandarins
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Reposted by Crowbar
Senator David Shoebridge @davidshoebridge.bsky.social · 19h
Joint statement from Senator David Shoebridge and Senator Steph Hodgins-May
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 18h
that's fine
but I didn't ask
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
Someone is beeping their car horn enthusiastically outside my house. At midnight. *picks up crowbar*
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
Chicken, Tomatoes, Spinach, Cream #food #foodporn #onepan #dinner
Dish
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
Yeah the crockery counts in presentation. It's always a part of the dish presentation concept. Farm girl is naive. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
Bimbo Bitches next. What are you expecting? "A quiet table at least" - Jane #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
Dessert needed more acid. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
So what menu will the "Classy Bogans" contrive do you think? #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
I think tonight we've again seen issues with the conception of the menu which has let them down. Don't use bougie ingredients if you don't understand how to use them. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
If the next instant restaurant are smart they'll shove some cheese and crackers in front of Jane. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
Special touch for a special lady? Hopefully it's a sprinkling of arsenic. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
No wobble test lads? Sheesh. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
Tip: caramel is boiling sugar. It will burn you if you taste test it. Use the colour to test for done-ness. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
Tonight the role of Kindergarten Teacher will be played by Colin Fassnidge. I think him chasing after them might be adding more fire to the fuel. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
Fix Victoria? Like.... neuter it? #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
No one is throwing shit at you Alisha. They are trying to teach you. You are the one with the obvious chip on your shoulder. And now we have a tantrum. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
JFC every time Alisha opens her mouth a bit more of paint peels off of my wall. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
I hope the Bimbo Bitches walk out permanently. They appear to have the food knowledge of 10 year olds. And VERY defensive about it. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
Chicken ballotine > parmi/parma (In a damn cooking competition) #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
If you fuck up an element - leave off the element. The enoki should have been gonski. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
I love enoki tempura - but if they had done amazing double fried handcut potato fries with a chilli salt they might have had a more winning combo. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
Stick your finger in the oil to check it's hot enough Simon. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
The Bimbo Bitches are so out of their element even for just home cooks. It *is* supposedly still a cooking competition. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
I think Mary & Golden may be the ones to watch actually. They seem to be straddling "classes" here. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
Medium rare cube of wagyu steak on a swirl of horseradish cream on a square of fried brik pastry, sprinkled with toasted sesame seeds & a sprinkling of lemon thyme > grey undercooked dry sausage rolls. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
Also wagyu in a sausage roll is a crime. Had to be said. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
What the fuck is that slicing guys? Also that pastry isn't really golden. It's barely tan. Aside from the bottom which looked a bit scorched. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
Ok so I use that double nakiri knife technique for mincing....and that ain't quite it. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
ELEVATED - DRINK #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
First course - sausage roll. I think the rough puff should have been the first thing that was prepared......not with an hour to go. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
If you don't want to appear dumb, don't be dumb. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
"Do I have a chance with Deanne?" - Simon #MKR
static.klipy.com
Johnny Lawrence Says 'No Chance'
Alt: Johnny Lawrence Says 'No Chance'
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
Kimchee takes about a week to ferment.... I guess they got a Time Machine in the pantry. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
Gochujang - DRINK #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
OOO they splashed out on a fancy neon sign. "Last Order" - so I assume they are making pufferfish, cassava and uncooked red kidney beans. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
Tonight we are in Adelaide. With best mates Bill & Ben the Flowerpot Men. Looks like with have some BIMBO CHAOS in store! #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 29/09/2026
Stealing hearts & pats. Big play today with Lola a 6 month cocker spaniel. Had to be carried home from park. Too much fun. #MemphisTheMalshi #dogpark #melbourne
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Reposted by Crowbar
Dave Hooper @davehooper.com · 28/09/2026
Have just had one of my staff messaging on the staff chat. Two young fellas came in, got knocked back because their ID was bogus, so they decided to steal the stuff! In their haste, they dropped their mobile phone, so a manager is now calling their parents 🤣
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 28/09/2026
UH OH gonna be so much fire added to the fuel this week! #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 28/09/2026
The puns are going to be lethal tomorrow night. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 28/09/2026
My Homely Kitchen Rules #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 28/09/2026
Time to make up a vague number much lower than reality to be strategic from the other contestants. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 28/09/2026
NO DESSERT FOR JANE - CHUCK HER A KRAFT SINGLE #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 28/09/2026
Mixing pastry and rice in a dessert is like fingernails down a chalkboard to me. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 28/09/2026
Dessert is a Mango Coconut Sweet Rice Croissant Puff Everything But The Kitchen Sink Pudding. #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 28/09/2026
"Was the prawn 'al dente' for you?" *snigger* #MKR
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 28/09/2026
"I find it quite empowering to leave food on a plate." - Shane #MKR #WhatALoadOfWank
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Crowbar @crowbar.wtf · 28/09/2026
They didn't devein the bloody prawns?? Come the fuck on now. #MKR
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