crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 2hthe copper pipes in the walls of my neighbor’s house communicate with me psychically. they want me to rip them out and sell them, they want that more than anything 140
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 2hgay emeril lagasse on his back with his legs behind his head getting reamed by gay bam margera and shouting “bam, i’m gay!!!” 020
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 29/09/2026my buddy Movie and i go way back 000
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026just remembered balloon art guy and got so annoyed i had to take a walk 020
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026that sand doesn’t seem so quick to me 030
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026they’re coming out with a new kind of credit card reader that makes you explode 030
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026playing two shows in the next week after a month off and i’m so excited to get to scream at people again 010
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026i would greatly enjoy 500 dollars 150
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026was on my usual dawn jog and the clouds and the moon looked like a winking kitten. an incredible sight, folks 080
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026i love brands, and products, too!!! 020
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 27/09/2026eddie money, or as his freaky friends call him, edward moolah 050
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 27/09/2026i shouldn’t be allowed to have this 260
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 27/09/2026it’s called a theme park. that means a park that is themed. so why come the theme is never porno???? 140
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 27/09/2026[george lucas, furious because he knows no one will accept “dogman planet” as the name for chewbacca’s home world] i don’t know, it’s fuckin, kashyyk or some shit 0122
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 26/09/2026call me bill and/or ted the way i’m tryna go on an excellent adventure!!! 160
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 26/09/2026i’m too busy chilling with willrow hood to care 021
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 26/09/2026chewing spicy gum that hurts so bad 030
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 26/09/2026the kids these days just wanna watch klute! 020
Reposted by crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026emeril showing a live studio audience of middle aged men how to make shrooms hit harder by soaking them in lemon juice, the dudes nod and cheer as foil phish posters shimmer on the walls 1203
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 26/09/2026i love how the blinds in this shot in revenge of the sith make it look like anakin is giving a really angsty talk to the camera in an episode of the office 0130
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 26/09/2026staring at the wall and smiling softly as i picture 500 dollars 051
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026that gavel is the funniest hammer he’s ever seen! 000
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026[nightly news voice] the saying goes, “cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.” but once autumn rolls around, people start wanting everything to taste like pumpkins. more on this development, tonight at 9 031
Reposted by crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 18/09/2026another new song from my upcoming album is out everywhere now: crimesididntcommit.bandcamp.com/track/the-bo...crimesididntcommit.bandcamp.comThe Body Keeps the Score, by crimesididntcommittrack by crimesididntcommit 083
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026[9:55 AM] i wish i was at the gay bar 010
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026the world feels hopeless and bleak and it’s easy for people too young to remember it to understand how, for a moment there, it felt like everything might get better when steve harvey became a tv judge. we didn’t know he was just like all the others 020
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026the only one who can judge me is steve harvey 141
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026cracking an arcade machine open to get those precious tickets 030
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026emeril showing a live studio audience of middle aged men how to make shrooms hit harder by soaking them in lemon juice, the dudes nod and cheer as foil phish posters shimmer on the walls 1203
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026take me back to carradine in 2006 000
Reposted by crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 01/12/2025RIP @carradinein2006.bsky.social 2213
Reposted by crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 01/12/2025Carradine in 2006 2257
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 24/09/2026tears in my eyes, collapsing to the theatre floor as i finally get the joke. “meet the fockers sounds like meet the fuckers!” i’m carried away in restraints as the mania takes hold 0204
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 24/09/2026oh yeah, now that’s graphic design. the word “lie” is in his very name!!! 290
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 24/09/2026elizabeth holmes “why would i deceive you” and “we’re just normal men” exist in the same space in my head 090
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 23/09/2026how to get glow in the dark blood fast 051
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 23/09/2026they’re making a horny version of the pitt where everybody’s getting sex-rays 020
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 23/09/2026i was handed a laminated sheet of paper with a person’s picture and the words “do not let this man smoke weed” in impact font on it at a party this past weekend. i asked who the guy was and they pointed to a dude laying on the floor across the room lol 050
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 23/09/2026staring at my cat and getting emotional because he’s so pure and good 050
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 23/09/2026in a completely unsurprising turn of events, i once again did not enjoy a movie i was told i’d have to love because i’m trans 160
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 22/09/2026banned from “what’s in my bag?” after freaking out over them not having any steven seagal albums 030
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 22/09/2026a 50 year old dad taking ayahuasca and picturing a version of hell where there’s no lawn to get to mow 050
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 22/09/2026exceptional, screen-accurate costuming from @crannyboy.bsky.social 2413
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 22/09/2026adult spin-off to bop-it called spit-on-it sets preorder record 050
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 21/09/2026shindig addiction is a serious problem and that song just makes light of it 030
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 19/09/2026sometimes you see a baldwin brother you forgot about and it feels like awaking from a coma 060