crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 17hcolossal marketing failure to not have tom ask “can you dig it?” directly into the camera in every trailer 010
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 17hplaying a show in south florida for the first time tonight to kick off spooky season folks 020
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 19h[sending a threatening note made with cutout letters from magazines to santa] if i’m not presentpilled and cheermaxxing a few months from now, people in my life will pay the price!!! 010
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 19happarently it’s bandcamp friday, meaning this is a great day to get all my past albums + several singles from my upcoming record! darkwave industrial synthpop homo freakout music, why not take a dive crimesididntcommit.bandcamp.comcrimesididntcommit.bandcamp.comcrimesididntcommitsongs ghosts can dance to 011
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 02/10/2026texting every single number in my contacts, as well as many that aren’t, that christmas is around the corner, and i’m expecting a gift!!! 030
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 02/10/2026me when i’m failing the “don’t have everything turn red” contest: 051
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 01/10/2026batman is the one guy in all of gotham who saw a dude named E. Nygma and thought “maybe that’s the riddler” 160
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 01/10/2026the copper pipes in the walls of my neighbor’s house communicate with me psychically. they want me to rip them out and sell them, they want that more than anything 141
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 01/10/2026gay emeril lagasse on his back with his legs behind his head getting reamed by gay bam margera and shouting “bam, i’m gay!!!” 080
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 29/09/2026my buddy Movie and i go way back 000
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026just remembered balloon art guy and got so annoyed i had to take a walk 020
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026that sand doesn’t seem so quick to me 030
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026they’re coming out with a new kind of credit card reader that makes you explode 030
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026playing two shows in the next week after a month off and i’m so excited to get to scream at people again 010
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026i would greatly enjoy 500 dollars 150
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026was on my usual dawn jog and the clouds and the moon looked like a winking kitten. an incredible sight, folks 080
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026i love brands, and products, too!!! 020
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 27/09/2026that way if they need surgery again the tools are right there 010
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 27/09/2026people don’t realize this but it’s fine to not wash your hands and it’s actually good to leave medical instruments behind in patients 110
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 27/09/2026eddie money, or as his freaky friends call him, edward moolah 050
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 27/09/2026i shouldn’t be allowed to have this 260
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 27/09/2026it’s called a theme park. that means a park that is themed. so why come the theme is never porno???? 140
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 27/09/2026[george lucas, furious because he knows no one will accept “dogman planet” as the name for chewbacca’s home world] i don’t know, it’s fuckin, kashyyk or some shit 0122
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 26/09/2026story of [borat voice] my life!!! 010
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 26/09/2026call me bill and/or ted the way i’m tryna go on an excellent adventure!!! 160
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 26/09/2026there’s an on cinema bit where a song tim heidecker wrote is played in a murder trial and it’s almost identical in how it plays out 040
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 26/09/2026i’m too busy chilling with willrow hood to care 021
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 26/09/2026chewing spicy gum that hurts so bad 030
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 26/09/2026the kids these days just wanna watch klute! 020
Reposted by crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026emeril showing a live studio audience of middle aged men how to make shrooms hit harder by soaking them in lemon juice, the dudes nod and cheer as foil phish posters shimmer on the walls 1203
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 26/09/2026i love how the blinds in this shot in revenge of the sith make it look like anakin is giving a really angsty talk to the camera in an episode of the office 0130
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 26/09/2026staring at the wall and smiling softly as i picture 500 dollars 051
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026that gavel is the funniest hammer he’s ever seen! 000
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026[nightly news voice] the saying goes, “cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.” but once autumn rolls around, people start wanting everything to taste like pumpkins. more on this development, tonight at 9 031
Reposted by crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 18/09/2026another new song from my upcoming album is out everywhere now: crimesididntcommit.bandcamp.com/track/the-bo...crimesididntcommit.bandcamp.comThe Body Keeps the Score, by crimesididntcommittrack by crimesididntcommit 083
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026[9:55 AM] i wish i was at the gay bar 010
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026the world feels hopeless and bleak and it’s easy for people too young to remember it to understand how, for a moment there, it felt like everything might get better when steve harvey became a tv judge. we didn’t know he was just like all the others 020
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026the only one who can judge me is steve harvey 141
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026cracking an arcade machine open to get those precious tickets 030
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026emeril showing a live studio audience of middle aged men how to make shrooms hit harder by soaking them in lemon juice, the dudes nod and cheer as foil phish posters shimmer on the walls 1203
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026take me back to carradine in 2006 000
Reposted by crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 01/12/2025RIP @carradinein2006.bsky.social 2213
Reposted by crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 01/12/2025Carradine in 2006 2257
crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 24/09/2026tears in my eyes, collapsing to the theatre floor as i finally get the joke. “meet the fockers sounds like meet the fuckers!” i’m carried away in restraints as the mania takes hold 0204