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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️

@crimesididntcommit.bsky.social
2.4K followers 358 following 29K posts

mdni. musician, thought leader, brand ambassador for a little thing called “having a good time” music + ticket links here: linktr.ee/crimesididntcommit

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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 17h
colossal marketing failure to not have tom ask “can you dig it?” directly into the camera in every trailer
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 17h
playing a show in south florida for the first time tonight to kick off spooky season folks
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 19h
[sending a threatening note made with cutout letters from magazines to santa] if i’m not presentpilled and cheermaxxing a few months from now, people in my life will pay the price!!!
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 19h
apparently it’s bandcamp friday, meaning this is a great day to get all my past albums + several singles from my upcoming record! darkwave industrial synthpop homo freakout music, why not take a dive crimesididntcommit.bandcamp.com
crimesididntcommit.bandcamp.com
crimesididntcommit
songs ghosts can dance to
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
texting every single number in my contacts, as well as many that aren’t, that christmas is around the corner, and i’m expecting a gift!!!
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
me when i’m failing the “don’t have everything turn red” contest:
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
batman is the one guy in all of gotham who saw a dude named E. Nygma and thought “maybe that’s the riddler”
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
the copper pipes in the walls of my neighbor’s house communicate with me psychically. they want me to rip them out and sell them, they want that more than anything
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
gay emeril lagasse on his back with his legs behind his head getting reamed by gay bam margera and shouting “bam, i’m gay!!!”
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
thank you, i hadn’t heard
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
my buddy Movie and i go way back
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
just remembered balloon art guy and got so annoyed i had to take a walk
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
that sand doesn’t seem so quick to me
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
they’re coming out with a new kind of credit card reader that makes you explode
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
playing two shows in the next week after a month off and i’m so excited to get to scream at people again
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
i would greatly enjoy 500 dollars
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
was on my usual dawn jog and the clouds and the moon looked like a winking kitten. an incredible sight, folks
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
i love brands, and products, too!!!
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
that way if they need surgery again the tools are right there
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
people don’t realize this but it’s fine to not wash your hands and it’s actually good to leave medical instruments behind in patients
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
do some surgery soon
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
eddie money, or as his freaky friends call him, edward moolah
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
i shouldn’t be allowed to have this
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
it’s called a theme park. that means a park that is themed. so why come the theme is never porno????
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
[george lucas, furious because he knows no one will accept “dogman planet” as the name for chewbacca’s home world] i don’t know, it’s fuckin, kashyyk or some shit
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
story of [borat voice] my life!!!
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
call me bill and/or ted the way i’m tryna go on an excellent adventure!!!
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
there’s an on cinema bit where a song tim heidecker wrote is played in a murder trial and it’s almost identical in how it plays out
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
i’m too busy chilling with willrow hood to care
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
chewing spicy gum that hurts so bad
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
the kids these days just wanna watch klute!
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Reposted by crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️
crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
emeril showing a live studio audience of middle aged men how to make shrooms hit harder by soaking them in lemon juice, the dudes nod and cheer as foil phish posters shimmer on the walls
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
i love how the blinds in this shot in revenge of the sith make it look like anakin is giving a really angsty talk to the camera in an episode of the office
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
staring at the wall and smiling softly as i picture 500 dollars
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
that gavel is the funniest hammer he’s ever seen!
judge steve harvey
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
[nightly news voice] the saying goes, “cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.” but once autumn rolls around, people start wanting everything to taste like pumpkins. more on this development, tonight at 9
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Reposted by crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️
crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
another new song from my upcoming album is out everywhere now: crimesididntcommit.bandcamp.com/track/the-bo...
crimesididntcommit.bandcamp.com
The Body Keeps the Score, by crimesididntcommit
track by crimesididntcommit
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
[9:55 AM] i wish i was at the gay bar
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
steven harvard
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
the world feels hopeless and bleak and it’s easy for people too young to remember it to understand how, for a moment there, it felt like everything might get better when steve harvey became a tv judge. we didn’t know he was just like all the others
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
the only one who can judge me is steve harvey
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
cracking an arcade machine open to get those precious tickets
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
zero clear theme among mine
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
emeril showing a live studio audience of middle aged men how to make shrooms hit harder by soaking them in lemon juice, the dudes nod and cheer as foil phish posters shimmer on the walls
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
take me back to carradine in 2006
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Reposted by crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️
crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 01/12/2025
RIP @carradinein2006.bsky.social
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Reposted by crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️
crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 01/12/2025
Carradine in 2006
Carradine in 2006
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crimesididntcommit🏳️‍⚧️ @crimesididntcommit.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
tears in my eyes, collapsing to the theatre floor as i finally get the joke. “meet the fockers sounds like meet the fuckers!” i’m carried away in restraints as the mania takes hold
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