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@coyotes.bsky.social
2.5K followers 1.2K following 6.9K posts

esports olympian. Lactose tolerant. lead singer of my shower. Costco executive member. The largest pants in the game. coyotes creator (Open species) canis latrans (los angeles transgender) @werewolf.mov 💞 steamcommunity.com/id/001 last.fm/user/001

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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 22h
it’s NUTS lol. i don’t know how i managed to do the things i did as a kid
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 22h
it’s been neat revisiting a lot of these games now that i’m an adult and i do drugs, i know how to jack off my dick, i know the horrors of the world, etc. Kind of makes the vibes different. although smoking weed and playing need for speed most wanted in 2005 was probably crazy. And jacking off too
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
turning left on coach dick hill way if you guys need anything
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
they have made “fixes” that have done nothing but make it worse for me. a couple years ago, i was late a couple times to work because it decided to not go off. on my new iphone, an alarm hasn’t worked a single time for me even on max volume. im glad i bought a manual clock for work instead lol
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
there needs to be a class action lawsuit over alarms not working on the iphone and i deserve a 400 morbillion dollar payout
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Holy FUCK
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
affirmations of emulation: some games from my childhood were genuinely hard and some of them just fucking suck
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
asking everyone wearing red at target if they work here
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
i am so sorry 😭 my 2nd day at my new job, i was at a party the night prior and people kept buying me drinks. i legit could barely work or speak the entire day. never again
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
one of my fav artists to commission refuses to take my money when she isn’t available to immediately work. she’s like “sorry i can’t for 2 weeks” like i haven’t waited 2+ years on commissions and been scammed. But then when she takes my money she will be done in like 2 hours. It’s fucked up
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
“damn bro you know ball” Of course i do. can you throw it for me
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
let me know if you wanna grab a drink or something! i’m in the valley and i work closeish to weho
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
where at!
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
NOOOOOOOOOOO
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
i’m miserably failing them every day with pride
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
marathon reference???
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
playing wordle with my coworkers every day has made me realize i am illiterate
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
alcoholic family and irish heritage solidarity 🤝
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Yeah im gay so what. i don’t even give a care
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
it really is insane. everything about it is just, Penis. you grow an entire foreskin you can jack off. you can literally get your peanuts sucked. It throbs and you can feel heartbeat through it when it’s hard enough. it’s true
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I’m agnostic But i think tdick is the closest thing to proof we have god is real. His best creation
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Reposted by coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes
Nicolas Dream, PhD @afraidofwasps.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
5'6" roommate got caught in the glue trap while getting a midnight snack woke up to him squeaking in agony
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
kagi is pretty good about filtering stuff by default and is worth the subscription imo, there’s also some extensions that will filter all results/sites pre-2023. but i feel like it’s unfortunately inevitable at this point, i hate how many AI images come up for animal images specifically too
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
half the reason i pay for telegram premium
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Yeah same here. like making the mistake of eating a burger earlier and not right now instead
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
if real life had a ctrl+z i would use it to undo all the burgers i’ve eaten so i can eat them a second time
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
when the muscle memory kicks in
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
whispering lyrics of the song i’m listening to at work and not thinking about the fact it’s jon mess saying “slit wrist, suck dick, drink piss”
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
saw this image on my timeline and was cracking up thinking about the time i asked my first furry friend ever when i was a child if he was a greymuzzle because he was in his 20s and he got lowkey offended 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
my chud son that can’t stop wiggling everywhere at 5000mph
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
just means my phone has fully gone through 100% battery for the first time
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
my old phone is at 70% i cannot believe the battery life on my new one i have charged it twice and have had it since friday LOL
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
that’s it. phone’s ruined
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
i have noticed that bug a little bit! but i mostly use face ID for just passwords and biometric logins so it isn’t a huge deal for me, glad to know it might be fixed, was worried it just sucked bc it’s under screen now i hope you’re enjoying it though! it’s been an incredible phone for me so far
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
With a computer 27 inch monitors are ethical, but if you have too many of them it’s pervert behavior. larger monitors are evil. Ultrawides potentially okay. And if you connect your tv to it, straight to jail. One time i jacked off to porn that was on my TV and i felt so much shame i had to go shower
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
The larger the screen is that you’re watching porn on the more perverted and disgusting it feels. It depends on the device in question too.. Any phone size is ok, but once you reach tablet territory it’s evil behavior. gooning on a foldable phone is spiritually depraved as well
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Im saying. the big dicks are even bigger. But if you go to ipad or tablet sized that feels incorrect.. Evil faps
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I was worried getting used to the max sized iphone would be weird because a lot of people complain about not being able to use it with one hand because it’s too big. i feel blessed to have big enough hands this isn’t an issue. #ImJackingOff
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
but to be fair you get put on half those lists just for saying any of those words
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
i wonder which one did it
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Can't believe this blocklist i'm on. you don't even fuck with dragons as much as me. you don't even fuck them like me. fake ass fan
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
it’s one of the better animated movies i’ve watched in years. no wonder we keep getting slop, it’s all people show up for COUGH SPIDERMAN $1B DOMESTIC $2.5B GLOBALLY COUGH
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
forgotten island being a box office failure so far actually fucking sucks man i thought it was pretty good. But then again the most marketing i saw for the movie was furries moralfagging over raww potentially being a teenager months before it came out
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
You can tell people i share the freeway with genuinely think they deserve to live
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
the way god intended
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
might have found the best vending machine ever
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
you need to upgrade. i can’t believe how nice this phone is
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
by far the best emoji ever created
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
the coyotes
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coyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotescoyotes @coyotes.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
the fucking thing benchmarks like 2x my desktop pc’s score lol
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