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Jonathan Cortis

@cortijon.bsky.social
271 followers 138 following 265 posts

Future Political Refugee Software development, bourbon, football - the white guy trifecta

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Reposted by Jonathan Cortis
Kristi Hallman-Cortis @akristipayne.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Idk why it bothers people SO BADLY that some of us have publicly marveled at the fact the song is that statistically popular and we’ve simply never heard it. That’s not a wannabe-own or a hot take or a moral superiority thing. It’s simply… interesting and I’m not sure why we can’t say that out loud.
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Reposted by Jonathan Cortis
ProPublica @propublica.org · 26/09/2026
Hey, ProPublica reporter Jake Pearson here. I’m taking over the account to tell you about my new story. For months, I posed as a problem gambler on DraftKings to test the company's "responsible gaming" safeguards. Spoiler alert: They made me a VIP — and I lost $10K. Here's how it all went down. 🧵
Selfie taken by ProPublica reporter Jake Pearson, a man wearing a backwards baseball cap and an orange T-shirt.
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Reposted by Jonathan Cortis
Baseball by BSmile @bsmile.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
"Yogi Berra - Famous Baseball Philosopher" ~ Classic 1987 Miller Lite Beer Commercial. Check out actor Jason Alexander (pre-George Costanza) standing behind Yogi! #MLB #Baseball #Yankees #Seinfeld
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
static.klipy.com
Matrix Code Digital Animation
Alt: Matrix Code Digital Animation
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
If you see this, post a not quite Star Trek
Patrick Stewart as Oberon in A Midsummer Night’s Dream
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Short Film
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Y’all can go soak your heads right and proper
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
“Any meaningful metric.” Wars are not won and lost on KPI’s, sir.
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Tale as old as time
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Deftons
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
Lovingly created by my 8yo
Phone lock screen with a photo of a Crusty dog falling asleep with eyes going every which way
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
End of the Road by Boyz II Men. Starts off sad, ends up stalker
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
Ok GreekSky, how’d we do? Souzoukaklia with rice, Briam on the side, and homemade tzatziki sauce. @akristipayne.bsky.social and I ate well tonight.
A daggum Greek SPREAD
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
I would be excelling in the occupation of “infant”
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Film you've watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Star Trek, Star Wars, LOTR, Marvel, Disney, or Ghibli.
static.klipy.com
Jessica Rabbit Offers Roger Rabbit Carrot Cake
ALT: Jessica Rabbit Offers Roger Rabbit Carrot Cake
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
“The Giving Tree”, directed by Michael Bay
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
We were promised better
scenes from the “Cafe 80s” in back to the future 2
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
Fun Fact: this is actually the most aesthetic shot of NJ possible
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Ok, but why does it look like a dog?
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
It’ll find its way to the correct house in about 20 years
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
And then have the audacity to say “my ancestors came over here, but they did it the RIGHT way.” Bro, our ancestors just showed up and either said “this is our now”, or signed a little book at Ellis island and pinky promised that they didn’t have tuberculosis
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
I would destroy three of these, and, in doing so, destroy myself.
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Reposted by Jonathan Cortis
Brian Floyd @brianmfloyd.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
ah yep there it is. great work dumbasses
However, as of July 2025, the CDC made tracking cyclospora optional, as part of scaling back its Foodborne Diseases Active Surveillance Network. At the time, food safety experts worried that it could make it harder to identify and respond to outbreaks.
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
True. It is not very historically accurate to cast someone with primarily Nordic and Celtic heritage in the role of a Bronze Age western Mediterranean hero. Not to mention, in all his travels Odysseus never came close to Boston. Scylla the monster 🙅‍♂️Green monster 👍
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Reposted by Jonathan Cortis
Molly Jong-Fast @mollyjongfast.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Dems have dumped Swalwell and platner Republicans have nominated Ken Paxton
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Alex Ip 葉清霖 @alexip718.com · 07/07/2026
BREAKING: in June 2026, *every single one* of the 1,062 refugees admitted in the U.S. were white South Africans. In FY 2026, the U.S. has admitted a total of 7,727 white South Africans, three Afghans (back in November), and nobody else. For reference, the U.S. admitted 100,060 refugees in 2024.
rpc.state.gov
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
Mark Twain MLK Harriett Tubman Alexander Graham Bell (would be Edison but he was a dick)
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
Curd sampler sounds like a great 80’s high school movie insult
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
static.klipy.com
Shrek: Ogres Are Like Onions Scene
ALT: Shrek: Ogres Are Like Onions Scene
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Made some homemade simple syrup this evening so it’s post gym mojitos for me & @akristipayne.bsky.social tonight.
A picture of delicious fucking mojitos with a bottle of white rum in the background
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
You can see the pain in his Chicago heart through the Holy Eyes
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
If I witnessed this I would assume she was chasing after the perpetrator of an especially heinous crime.
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Reposted by Jonathan Cortis
Dr Paul Dorfman @drpauldorfman.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
Solar is already creating the fastest shift in electricity generation in history - and it is still accelerating reneweconomy.com.au/solar-is-alr...
reneweconomy.com.au
Solar is already creating the fastest shift in electricity generation in history - and it is still accelerating
Solar is moving fast. Really fast. Batteries are moving faster. And there is no evidence in either prices or deployment that the system is about to tap the brakes.
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Ra's Al Ghoul @uwes98.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
The Faculty Senate will no longer be of any concern to us. I have just received word that the governor has dissolved the council permanently. The last remnants of academic freedom have been swept away. Fear will keep the professors in line- fear for their pensions.
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
Um, why does the DoD have a list of “Christian religions”?
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Reposted by Jonathan Cortis
James Talarico @jamestalarico.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
There’s been a lot of talk in this race about what makes a "real man." A man does what’s right when no one is watching. He upholds his commitments to his family and neighbors. He doesn’t lie, cheat, & steal his way through life. Real men serve others. Weak men serve themselves.
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 03/06/2026
I just went 79-3, think you can go 82-0? I got some good spins here: www.82-0.com/share?id=J8O...
Starting line up of Tiny Archibald, Luka Doncic, Bob McAdoo, and Wilt Chamberlain
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
“Claude, please write an anecdote about maternal and prepartum health disparities in the US, but make it racist as a minstrel show”
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
Writing code is easy. Writing software is hard. Part of the reason writing software is hard is because writing code is so easy.
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 18/05/2026
When I was 15 I asked my parents for a boom box with CD player and this was the first CD I got bought for it. So same, basically.
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 17/05/2026
Itsa-me, Michelangelo
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Reposted by Jonathan Cortis
Cabel Sasser @cabel.panic.com · 11/05/2026
this graduation speech moment is notable, and her amazed shock at having failed to read the room feels instructive. when you're inside the bubble, you think everybody else is. but everybody isn't.
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
Ok, reading the rules I now realize for Xenial’s it’s One Headlight. I apologize for the confusion.
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
Backing up a couple of years, the Xennial answer is either Gin n Juice or Smells Like Teen Spirit and I can’t decide. For millennials I always assumed it was Mr Brightside
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 08/05/2026
Defining the limits of human potential as career earnings is itself a supremely low opinion of Human Potential.
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
The existential covetousness I coveted this with back as a 10 year old would have moved me to commit crimes if I had the means with which to commit them. I never had one. A love lost to the winds of time. Plug it in. Fly for me where I stayed earthbound.
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
The MAGA whispers “you’re possessed by a demon” and Trump whispers back “I am the demon” or however that stupid T-shirt goes.
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
Very old school beat and style. It absolutely makes sure you can vibe while hanging on and considering every word.
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
To add to her list of atrocities, today Pam Bondi has spoiled a plot point of Andor Season 2 for me.
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Jonathan Cortis @cortijon.bsky.social · 02/04/2026
A young Nixon aide named Roger Ailed said “that sucked, let’s make sure it doesn’t happen again”, and then started Fox News. Unfortunately times have changed. If it weren’t for the far right echo chamber Trump would have been there dozens of times already.
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