Sign in

Classic Brian

@classicbrian.bsky.social
371 followers 326 following 634 posts

I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore

PostsRepliesMedia
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
This is just a threat, right? These guys are holding the kill switch to the ticking time bomb they planted and are trying to sell us the bomb. Surely we cannot be THIS stupid.
001
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Make sure everyone has boners, give them beer, let them carry guns everywhere. This is Christ's America. One nation under God.
000
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
"Fuck you You're cool Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you..."
010
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Yes? Mr President? Everyone is starting to say how cool and sexy socialism is and I am but a humble (indicted for fraud) conservative in a very tight race for my seat, could you please come call me dumb and ugly? Thank you so much, looking forward to working closely with you in the future.
000
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
"I wouldn't wish it on anyone" except the millions of people you explicitly, repeatedly wished it on.
010
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Woah, look at them, rejecting the framing of a statement. So brave. They should try also doing that when they're not completely wrong, and about something that matters! I can think of a few examples for them just off the top of my head.
000
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
The wrong 80-year-olds keep dying. RIP Dolly Parton and Tim Curry. The Grim Reaper is on thin ice. If he messes up one more time I think we gotta let him go.
000
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
Yeah and a crane can beat the world deadlift record, who gives a fuck
100
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
I know One Weird Trick that would save these guys $14 million and make everyone like them a lot more: Give me $1 million and simply shut the fuck up.
020
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
000
Reposted by Classic Brian
Ed Markey @edmarkey.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
Education, not annihilation. Health care, not warfare. We must stop funneling money to this corrupt administration as they risk more innocent lives. Slash the Pentagon now.
17715
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
God had to grant me this gift himself, and it's only gonna cost you $99? What is there to think about? Buy now!
000
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
Stay low, make sure to wrap up with your arms, really drive through with your legs. I won't even flag ya for hip dropping.
020
Reposted by Classic Brian
Tyler, from the Internet @tylerfromtheinternet.com · 20/07/2026
141046238
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
Yes, Vietnam, a war everyone famously loves and thinks was good.
010
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Zuckerberg's whole thing for the past decade has been to be a couple years too late on the latest dystopian tech bubble. I have a hard time believing any of these tech giants will ever go truly belly-up, but if any of them ever do, it will be Meta.
000
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
The thing about this is that this is not "a broken clock is right twice a day" or "worst guy you know is right about something". He is very clearly implying that it isn't the killing that is wrong. It's having the audacity to think you can get away with it if the US doesn't want you to.
144
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
This legitimately makes me so sad. RIP to a legend, Bulls games will never be the same.
010
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
Nazi Pete sure soundin a lot like a Nazi.
000
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 21/05/2026
My god, that Stephon Castle dunk was NASTY
010
Reposted by Classic Brian
vanoreo @vanoreo.bsky.social · 19/05/2026
tapping the sign
4969235
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 18/05/2026
Imagine paying $100,000 to go to an institute of higher learning, and at the end of four years of hard work, the school can't even be bothered to have a human being read your name off a list. But at least you got a picture!
020
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 17/05/2026
I feel like the FINANCIAL TIMES might be forgetting an important factor here, but I can't quite put my finger on it.
050
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
"Don't have less than $1 million", I sternly reproach my banking app, as I log in to my account. My mental health hinges on its obedience, let's check the results.
000
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
I want this hat a lot more than I should
000
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 15/05/2026
How dare they scheme to undermine his decision to scheme to undermine the Roe decision?
000
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
My coworker listens to classic rock radio for the entire day, every day, and that stupid commercial plays ALL THE TIME
000
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
Ok Democrats, midterms are coming up. Make sure you learn all the wrong lessons from this.
011
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
The SCOTUS approach to gerrymandering is that institutional racism simply is not real, and therefore any map challenged on grounds of racism cannot be blocked, but any map intended to address racism must be. Then they cover their ears and shut their eyes and pretend not to understand the result.
000
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 06/05/2026
Elon believes in getting us to Mars the way the finance guy at the car dealership believes in getting me a warranty.
010
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 03/05/2026
"Reparented" hey man what the fuck is this? What the fuck does this mean? What the fuck.
000
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 02/05/2026
This takes the term captive audience to the next level.
010
Reposted by Classic Brian
Standplaats Kraków could really use some cash! @standplaatskrk.pl · 24/04/2026
business cat (a black kitty in a tie, looking serious) in the vicious cycle meme [going forward we're gonna need more of your data to make sure its you] -> [ahaha youre not gonna believe this but we had a bit of a data breach] -> [your data is probably for sale online now] -> [that means someone could easily impersonate you] -> [rinse, repeat]
853722055
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
We need a sort of reverse Get Out The Vote campaign for this specific demographic. Convince them voting machines will give them cancer or reduce their sperm count with their magnetic waves or something.
001
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 21/04/2026
Unfortunately the new CEO model has different port types, so the transfer is impossible.
010
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 21/04/2026
You know that seen in Raiders of the Lost Ark where that guy was doing flashy sword moves and they had to cut the scene short bc Harrisom Ford has dysentery?
000
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 21/04/2026
This and every other day, they can eat shit
000
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 20/04/2026
Everyone opposed to tariffs kept saying "tariffs are a tax on consumers", right? Everyone understood that businesses were never going to eat that cost, they would pass them on to consumers. But now businesses get tariff refunds? And consumers get nothing? Wealth continues to transfer upward!
010
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 20/04/2026
I would like someone to simply ask him, "so what are they paying you for, then?"
000
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 17/04/2026
Dilbert J Trump
000
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 17/04/2026
Wtf is there to learn? AI doesn't require skill, it supplants it. You think im gonna fall behind my peers if I don't immediately start typing prompts into an obsequious chatbot rather than a real search engine? Only the most tech-illiterate people could ever believe that.
000
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 17/04/2026
The gym likes to subject me to Tony Dokoupil's news spot every night, and the shows format seems to be, pretty consistently: Trump GOOD War GOOD Cops GOOD Old person working until they die HEARTWARMING Dog does tricks AWWWW Cops GOOD
000
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
The thing about manosphere culture is, these guys clearly do not have people in their life they can just talk to normally. Looksmaxxing, mogging, whatever the fuck. There are real words to describe this stuff, but apparently they think they've invented the concept of vanity.
040
Reposted by Classic Brian
Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans) @iwriteok.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
"Someone tried to strangle Sneako", "Clavicular just had a drug overdose", I refuse to believe that understanding any of these headlines is better for me than chain-smoking
194108191430
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
The Pope is literally a monarch, so it's kind of funny to see people complain about him being political. Also funny bc, ya know, the history of the popedom.
030
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
"President Trump has always been a champion of keeping invasive Asian carp out of the Great Lakes" mmm yeah ok, likely
020
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 06/04/2026
Right, obviously the only way to restore democracy is to listen to the people who spent several decades actively destroying it. This is a good opinion.
070
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 06/04/2026
Anytime I see a story to the tune of "conservatives mad about something or other wasting money" I immediately do not care. Because they don't either.
000
Classic Brian @classicbrian.bsky.social · 04/04/2026
I feel like that's kind of the White House Chief of Staff's whole deal, right? To gatekeep what people and information are worthy of the President's time? Why doesn't she just tell him what he needs to know?
010