iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Reposted by CitizenHoffman

Draculosity Jones: Ghost Skeleton @brainmage.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

If you read fiction and you don't like AI you're a hypocrite. If you eat monster munch and don't like asbestos you're a blacksmith. If you play videogames and don't like stubbing your toe you're a submarine captain. We can all just SAY things. It's not hard.

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 01/07/2026

Do you love basketball? I’m now a professional basketball player. Check out my YouTube channel for my amazing highlight reel: no-look passes, one-handed behind-the-back dunks, half-court buzzer beaters. All performed by me by using AutoBasket software. (🧵)

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 18/06/2026

Name a TV show you're positive no one remembers but you

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 15/05/2026

The pixie carnival used to have pretty decent inexpensive food, but then they jacked the prices up. Farewell to the fair fare for the fairly fair fare at the fairy fair.

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 11/05/2026

What percentage of people are actually laughing out loud when they type “lol”? It rounds off to 0%, right?

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 02/05/2026

This was clearly written by someone without much imagination.

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 04/04/2026

The inevitable progression of a neighborhood: from hippie dippy to cutesie wootsie to hoitie totity

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 30/01/2026

Has anyone ever thought about how weird signatures are? "No, see, if you just write your name neatly, we have no way of knowing what your intentions are... ...but if you write it neatly and also write it *messy*, THEN we can take you seriously!"

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 29/01/2026

Salty hot take: in his lifelong quest to “elevate” it, Wynton has done more than anyone in history to convince people that jazz is snooty and boring. www.nytimes.com/2026/01/29/a...

nytimes.com

Wynton Marsalis, Founder of Jazz at Lincoln Center, to Step Down

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 26/12/2025

Happy 42nd Anniversary of George Michael’s heart being given away, for those who celebrate.

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 19/12/2025

You know @andrewhickey.500songs.com, you drop these little factoids — like Mott the Hoople started out as Jimmy Cliff’s backup band — as if we’re just supposed to keep living our lives normally after hearing them.

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 16/12/2025

Has anyone else noticed a trend of people saying "no problem" instead of "you're welcome"? Making that their standard response? Something always bothered me about it, and I just figured out what it is: 🧵

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 15/12/2025

Wow. Rob Reiner. What an amazing artist, and by all accounts a lovely man, as well. Inconceivable.

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 27/11/2025

How can you help? If you could get the f%$& out of the kitchen, that would be awesome.

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 24/11/2025

“Do you like piña coladas?…”

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 21/11/2025

When you meet someone from your hometown, you always pretend to be friends.

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 19/11/2025

My modest accessibility proposal: very tall people should get exit row seats without having to pay an upcharge.

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 09/11/2025

Dear grocery store security guard: do you really need a bullet-proof vest to stand around in the produce department of the Tenleytown Whole Foods? (1/2)

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 05/11/2025

I must confirm that I would neither walk five hundred miles, nor would I walk five hundred more.

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 04/11/2025

@andrewhickey.500songs.com I happen to love Dave Brubeck, Vince Guaraldi, and Cal Tjader. Getting a an unexpected mini-doc on the three of them is a delight.

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 29/10/2025

Not a spring in my step, so much as autumn in my bottom.

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 26/10/2025

The Left: I will abstain from voting until an angel descends to the ballot—an immaculate paragon of virtue, perfect in every regard. Anything less would make me unclean. The Right: I will vote for a desiccated cow flop, so long as it hates brown and queer people.

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 19/10/2025

Babysitting is kind of amazing. “Hello, nineteen-year-old I just met five minutes ago. You now have possession of my house and my children.”

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 18/10/2025

In a development unprecedented in the history of transportation, The Irish Exit at Moynihan Train Hall is a genuinely good bar that I enjoy spending time in.

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 18/10/2025

“‘But progress—‘ Magrat began. ‘Don’t you talk to me about progress. Progress just means bad things happen faster.’” — Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 15/10/2025

Of all the dumb internet headlines, “Person Looks Older Than They Did When They Were Younger!” has to be the stupidest.

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 06/10/2025

So now we’re stuck with an endless stream of undetectable deepfakes and no way to know what is real anymore just because you were too lazy to write your own emails? Do I have that right?

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Reposted by CitizenHoffman

The Life of Sharks @thelifeofsharks.com · 01/10/2025

One of the worst things to have happened in the last 15 years is the idea of “imposter syndrome”. The current state of everything shows us that most people SHOULD be feeling incompetent at what they do.

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Reposted by CitizenHoffman

J. Elvis Weinstein @jelvisweinstein.bsky.social · 23/09/2025

I know antifa isn't a real organization because I don't get 40 texts a week from them asking for donations.

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 22/09/2025

A few weeks ago, I had never heard of Charlie Kirk. That was nice.

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 19/09/2025

“AI is revolutionizing creativity, so anyone can instantly create professional-quality advertisements!" The Ads:

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 17/09/2025

Like many people in the podcast world, I had some big feelings about last week’s launch of “Inception Point AI”. I’m really pleased to be able to share them in an Op/ed in today’s @podnews.net! podnews.net/article/lazy...

podnews.net

The Battle Cry of the Lazy Luddite

A new podcast company is making AI slop, and appears to be proud about doing so. David Hoffman argues that they shouldn' t be.

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Reposted by CitizenHoffman

Dan Sheehan @dansheehan.bsky.social · 09/09/2025

The word "Luddite" is not an insult in a world where refrigerators play ads

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 07/09/2025

In thine own company alone mayst thou proceed forth and fornicate.

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 03/09/2025

It took me a while to write this, obviously. A heartfelt article about why I don't use ChatGPT to write for me, and don't intend to start anytime soon: open.substack.com/pub/themedia...

open.substack.com

In Praise of Slow Writing

Less artificial, more intelligent

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Reposted by CitizenHoffman

Daniel Carlson @danielwcarlson.bsky.social · 29/08/2025

We built a calculator that doesn't work, but don't worry, it's also a plagiarism machine that will tell you to kill yourself. It runs on the world's oceans and costs 10 trillion dollars.

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 29/08/2025

Whoever said “there are no bad ideas in a brainstorm” has never been in a brainstorm.

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 24/08/2025

I really wish American progressives would stop looking at voting as choosing an avatar that perfectly represents their ideal vision of humanity and start looking at it as hiring a person to do a job.

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 24/08/2025

“Would you like to give $3 for childhood cancer?” “No, I’m opposed to childhood cancer.”

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 22/08/2025

A last-season episode of “The Crown”, so college-age William and Kate, Prince Charles, and a handful of drunk Etonians? Will did have a bodyguard, so… 🤷‍♂️

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 22/08/2025

My 12 1/2-year-old son has a case of end-of-summer blues, and I was trying to explain to him why holing up in his bedroom for hours at a time watching anime was not making him feel better. This is what I came up with… 🧵🪡

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 12/08/2025

As a resident of the District of Columbia, I honestly don’t know what the heck is happening right now. I’ve lived all over the country and I’ve never felt safer anywhere else. (🧵…)

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Reposted by CitizenHoffman

Dr. Jarret Ruminski @thedevilhistory.bsky.social · 10/08/2025

The A.I. bubble is going to pop just like the subprime mortgage bubble popped, but it's going to be so much bigger and more destructive.

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 09/08/2025

This business about immediately moving manufacturing stateside is nonsense — would take years and trillions to even attempt. You know what you could move back here, though?… (1/2)

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 09/08/2025

@andrewhickey.500songs.com are you aware of the existence of THIS?Cereal box promotion of an album that was never released?!? Was this the only commercially released version of Smile before 2004?

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CitizenHoffman @citizenhoffman.bsky.social · 03/08/2025

The two most important phrases to learn to say are “I don’t know” and “I’m sorry”.

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