iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Daddy, daddy. I've found one of the European bog apes. Please notice me, daddy.

1131

Reposted by Andy Churnwell

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

"Somebody shtop me!"

The villain in The Mask with his grotesque green face.

1565

Reposted by Andy Churnwell

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Makes me proud to be British.

Union flag with "BRITAN" written on it. There are a series of frame depicting and angry man tumbling on to his face, an angry Sun reader, Blackpool voter Ty with his rubbery face, and Julia Shartly Pooer screaming.

1244

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

A new study suggests that the UK is one of the least narcissistic nations. It's good to see that our time-honoured tradition of convincing people who didn't go to private school that they're utterly worthless is paying off.

061

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

I'm going to make myself sound like a right proper geezer by changing my name to Andy Churno.

080

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Ed Sheeran's out there somewhere right now writing an apolitical comeback song using his little guitar, his loop pedal, and his raps skills honed on the streets of Suffolk.

1170

Reposted by Andy Churnwell

davebucket.bsky.social @davebucket.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

@churnwell.bsky.social this sounded familiar, but details seem a bit off?

072

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Ed Sheeran is playing 4d chess. And he's winning.

2173

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

If you post a split infinitive on Bksy you get arrested by the Bsky Patrol Squadron, tarred and feathered, and then added to a blocklist called Bad Faith Actors and Misandrists.

071

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

If you're a straight white cisgender man this is the peak of fashion. A shirt and chinos.

140

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Former Labour deputy Tom Watson hired as human wrecking ball to unclog festering London sewer.

1110

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

"Fascists, intimidating and attacking lifeboat volunteers? You don't wanna hear about that, do ya? No, I've get a better plan: why don't you watch me sink these proper northern pints with a big fookin' head on 'em?"

Burnham drinking a proper northern pint in a pub

1295

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Who remembers when Sir Keir Starmer fired off an involuntary gush off liquid poo seconds into Prime Minister's Questions, but went on to deliver one of his most inspiring performances?

2122

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Explaining to your real life friend that you're angry because you got into a fight with somebody on Bsky, the social media site that feels like being at work.

080

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

I don't do drugs. I don't drive fast cars. When I want a thrill, I log into Bsky, post something that could be uncharitably misinterpreted, and wait for somebody to shit themselves in my replies.

3201

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Happy International Fox Day to those who celebrate it.

Bristolian porn star Cathy Barry with former North Somerset MP Liam Fox. They are jointly holding a bottle of champagne.

020

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

What's that old phrase? Sometimes you've got to shit yourself to get ahead in life. Reminds me of when I accidentally unleashed a gush of liquid poo while appearing on Fort Boyard back in the day, which gave me the agility to win the task.

1120

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

What the fuck am I going to do with this now?

370

Reposted by Andy Churnwell

Hello, it's Dan McDaid @danmcdaid.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Funny thing about the Billy Bear ham: he holds it up to his own crying face and tells himself it's a mirror

052

Reposted by Andy Churnwell

Richard Pantis @dickpantis.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

He's using the word "simulacrum" in an attempt to sound clever because he clearly just learnt it from The Elephant Graveyard. You can tell he's just learnt it because, like all of his posts, the rest of the sentence reads like a child wrote it.

38202

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

If I were"tinybaby, the little piss pants crybaby who's dismayed that people push back on the stupid shit she says online, I would simply stop searching for my name and log off for long long time.

5230

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Just seen Ed Sheeran in Swindon Sainsbury's. He looked miserable and had loads of Billy Bear ham in his basket. When I approached him to ask how he was holding up he seemed dismayed, poor guy.

3243

Reposted by Andy Churnwell

Mic Wright @brokenbottleboy.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

The Orlando Bloom advert for wine is extremely weird. “I’ve told plenty of stories but there’s only one wine that tells a legend.” Alright, mate.

6352

Reposted by Andy Churnwell

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

When I see Darren Grimes's hair I'm reminded of a convertible sports car in the process of retracting its roof.

1141

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Shove your spiteful little block list up your arse, you prat!

161

Reposted by Andy Churnwell

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

These people will never have the quiet dignity of an arseman.

1292

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

These people will never have the quiet dignity of an arseman.

1292

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Makeup artist: Are you sure you don't want some mattifying primer to reduce the shininess of your face? Me: Yeah, no, I'm fine. I don't need that shit.

3101

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

When I see Darren Grimes's hair I'm reminded of a convertible sports car in the process of retracting its roof.

1141

Reposted by Andy Churnwell

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Here's the UN General Assembly-backed map that show continents in fairer relative proportion. 🇺🇸

Map of the word with all the countries: USA, Alaska, Canada, Mexico, New York, Florida, Africa, Iran / Afganystan, Europe.

0113

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Here's the UN General Assembly-backed map that show continents in fairer relative proportion. 🇺🇸

0113

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Andy's got himself a hot date (in Rune Scape)!

020

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

This website has always felt like it's populated by curtain twitchers who are eager to hand you over to the secret police, but it's fun to see that confirmed when you see what blocklists you've been vindictively added to by random strangers.

1140

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Ed Sheeran has said that he's influenced by Nizlopi, singers of The JCB Song. Nizlopi is Italian for "cunt".

0103

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

That scene from Yesterday where Ed Sheeran loses a songwriting contest to a man who's plagiarised The Beatles, but Ed Sheeran's song is this:

Richard Osman
@richardosman
"Clowns to the left of me
Jokers to the right
Here I am, patiently waiting for a witty, kind centrist party to restore some sanity with you"

0278

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Ed Sheeran playing racially segregated gigs in 1960s American but making a point of looking a bit sad.

2232

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

A Koyaanisqatsi-type film, an audio-video marvel, featuring some of the most horrific things ever committed to film set to a soundtrack by Ed Sheeran.

041

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Ed Sheeran performing The Shape of You Live at Klaus Barbie's birthday bash at Kehlsteinhaus.

181

Reposted by Andy Churnwell

Paul Blinkhorn @paulblinkhorn.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

You can't blame Ed Sheeran for caving in to American stadium owners I suppose. I mean, take these guys in the 60s, they refused to play to racially-segregated audiences in stadiums in the southern states of the USA and who remembers them now?

bbc.co.uk

The Beatles banned segregated audiences, contract shows

The Beatles refused to play to segregated audiences in the US, a contract for one of the group's concerts shows.

21993062831

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I've just heard. Your dad's changed his photo background image to this.

1142

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

It's such a shame that Andy Burnham's not been able to find enough shiny pennies in the nation's piggybank to do good things, only bad things that nobody likes. ☹️

1152

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

The difference between Matt Forde and @zafarcakes.bsky.social is comparable to Nelly's companion albums Sweat and Suit: Forde is for cruising with your boys in the day; Zafar is for getting bizz-ay in da club.

Comedy Doubles: Matt Forde & Bilal Zafar
Live at
Studio at New Wimbledon Theatre
change
Tue 1 Jul 2025
Closed

0111

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Call me bald one more time, buster, and you might get more than you bargained for - i.e. close up shots of my head from a variety of angles demonstrating that I have a cornucopia of luscious hair upon my normal-sized head.

2100

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I dropped some Ed Sheeran at a centrist dinner party once, straight after Babylon by David Gray. And my homies were all like:

0101

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Fair play to Ed Sheeran. He stood by his principles, which isn't always easy to do. His principles obviously amount to believing in nothing, but still - you can't say he didn't stand by his principles.

2285

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

In accordance with the applicable principles of UK law, the accompanying materials adduce evidence of the poster not being bald, as illustrated by the photographic materials appended hereto.

391