Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 09/09/2026When someone asks why I don't have kids, I'll just point at this And then do this 🖖🏽 021
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 08/09/2026One day I will open a Cat Bodega where the barcodes of items live on the collar of the cat, and customers will be allowed to purchase items only if the cat deems them worthy and blesses them with its presence. 011
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 07/09/2026I went to the art fair and saw a friend and watched Taxi Driver at the cinema and ate the most immaculate pasta But the best part of my weekend was watching a little hummingbird zoot around in the rose bushes for 5 minutes 010
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 29/08/2026What if, with all this global warming, we create the ideal conditions for bugs to grow 100x in size and one day there's all these videos of insect-resembling aliens that don't speak human (duh) we assume that they are otherworldly when in fact we are unwittingly the parents of our demise. 100
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 09/08/2026On this Women's Day Give them what they deserve A refund ✨ 011
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 08/08/2026Many women out there feel like dates are meant for men to pay for - the pleasure of their company and the time it takes for them to get all dressed up and looking nice. But, women, if you pay for yourself, then you can show up however you want 🤷🏻♀️ 000
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 28/07/2026You know what's amazing? There are so many things to think about that we haven't thought about yet And that all the thoughts have already been thunk by people that have lived before us, and will be thought of by those who live after us, and some thoughts are shared by those living with us today 110
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 19/07/2026In preparation for The Odyssey movie, I have finally completed Stephen Fry's trilogy on Greek mythology - Heroes, Troy and Odyssey - just in time. So come at me with your manosphere malarkey for I am adequately informed. As much as one can be on myths, that is. 000
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 10/07/2026I need a hug after this, but a hug where you don't touch me. Like, don't even hug me with your eyes.static.klipy.comObsession Obsession MovieALT: Obsession Obsession Movie 000
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 09/07/2026The best thing about me is my husband But don't ever tell him I said this, because it's my job to keep him humble. 010
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 05/07/2026Throwback to a time when snowflakes were just snowflakes (Found this in a shop that sells discounted old stock, but would pay full retail value for the irony) 131
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 07/06/2026We spend about 35 years of our life trying to figure out the human condition And then one day, one magical day, we become enlightened And say - fuck it, birds are way more interesting. 010
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 27/05/2026Seeing your least favourite boss on LinkedIn is like seeing your ex on Tinderstatic.klipy.comCongrats Nice Happy For You MemeALT: Congrats Nice Happy For You Meme 010
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 25/05/2026I made this wallpaper because I sometimes feel like a goose in a nightclub with knee problems I will not be explaining this in more detail. 010
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 14/05/2026Hello. Am very politely asking you to get over your shit. Is not worth the energy. Your energy is for petting me. 000
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 17/04/2026I avoided watching The Matrix Resurrections until today. I get why it got such mixed reception. It was 2021 when it was released, and it was a strange time in the world. If it were released in 2026, after Everything Everywhere All At Once, after AI, after the pandemic, after ditto Trump, well...media.tenor.coma man with his eyes closed and the words you seem triggered right now neoALT: a man with his eyes closed and the words you seem triggered right now neo 000
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 14/04/2026In today's episode of benign things that make me angry - A training facilitator pronounced the word amygdala as ah-mig-dal-la. What a maroon. 000
Reposted by SaltyRedruM @dorsalstream.bsky.social · 03/04/2026The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me. It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children." 266176806051
Reposted by SaltyRobin Bougie @robinbougie.bsky.social · 31/03/2026G is for Geode. And that's good enough for me. 236114831333
Reposted by SaltyMerriam-Webster @merriam-webster.com · 25/03/2026When movies were shot on physical film, the film was measured in feet. This is why any recorded thing is now called ‘footage.' 186119941585
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 24/03/2026Take your dog on a walk - they said It will be fun - they said They didn't say that you will have to stop at every single tree and lamp post so that said dog can sprinkle one or two pee drops on it, making the time spent on your walk like 3x longer 020
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 19/03/2026I made a change that I wanted to see in this world... All it took was like 40 years of mistakes, asking questions, being nice, being not nice, trying ever fuckin iteration of the thing, and ultimately - giving less of a shit.media.tenor.coma man in a red jacket is making a surprised face and saying whoa .ALT: a man in a red jacket is making a surprised face and saying whoa . 010
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 18/03/2026This shout out goes to Raye for making the perfect song for when you lose your husband in the grocery store. Guess I'm used to walking down isles for him (This pun is better said than read) 020
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 17/03/2026If you're a woman, you have a "tiny things" box, or tray, or compartmentalised box, or carry all box, or many boxes each designated for a type of tiny things. And no matter how organised you are, you will spend your entire life rearranging, looking for or storing said tiny things. Rather be a cat. 001
Reposted by SaltyMerriam-Webster @merriam-webster.com · 10/03/2026‘Hey’ came before ‘hi,’ and ‘hi' came before ‘hello.’ ‘Hi’ is most likely a variant of ‘hey.’ ‘Hello’ is not related to either. Goodbye. 23564041173
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 10/03/2026Ladies! Psst! Come here, I wanna tell you something just between us, mmkay Apparently men are getting into this thing called looksmaxxing They're beating themselves up. In the face. With a hammer. Don't say anything. Let them cook. 000
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 10/03/2026I have brained too much today. I would like a refund. Who do I lodge this claim with? 010
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 09/03/2026It's giving 90's "I won't put up with your shit" RnB diva open.spotify.com/track/4bBjJX...open.spotify.comSpotify – Web Player 000
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 05/03/2026It's 2025. We built data centres that use copious amounts of energy and water to run machines to summarise what everyone said in meetings that could have been emails. 142
Reposted by SaltyMr. Juice Box @toxicjuicebox.com · 04/03/2026Good morning! Yes, this is he 3053951197
Reposted by Saltylocalswampgay @localswampgay.bsky.social · 24/02/2026I think about this tweet every time I feel something online start to curl its annoying little grip into my head 6255416421
Reposted by SaltyChef Kennedy🐸🏳️🌈 @kennedy.northsky.social · 23/02/2026Congratulations everyone 104149725304
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 26/01/2026I spent most of the night searching for a video of a small dog sitting in long grass on a fucked windy day with electronic music playing in the background And I found nothing so I turned to AI And it found nothing There is no joy left in this world. 100
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 19/01/2026This one goes out to my elder millennials: You are not your parent's therapist. Also they never allowed you to put your feet on the couch, don't let them do this to you. 010
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 15/01/2026Me (wearing a jungle-print boiler suit) to my husband: "do I look like a boss?" Husband: "Ya you look like a boss at a zoo" Guess it's time to herd some cats. 000
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 13/01/2026This is a reminder to book some time off in the year. I accumulated a month's worth of leave and got paid out for it. I used the money to buy a fancy and efficient fridge. My food is cold. ...but my brain is fried. Moral of the story? Book your leave. 020
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 01/01/2026Look, I'm happy for Zohran and the people of New York, but, how do I say this politely... I'm just here for pictures of his wife. 010
Reposted by SaltyFryda Wolff @frydawolff.bsky.social · 05/12/2025Quite nice. #Frankenstein Cc @realgdt.bsky.social nineteeneightyeight.com/collections/... 71212291
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 01/12/2025My cat was gifted this couch, which she only claimed once she saw how much the dog enjoyed it. 030
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 22/11/2025Women want to be stylish and chick But we also want to sometimes look like a shuttlecock with pockets. 010
Reposted by SaltyPaul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 12/11/2025I am calling upon the people of Ireland to immediately begin construction of a thread on this site about how you or someone you know was roasted for a fashion choice. We need it. All roasts must have come from Irish people *only*. Please respect this important rule, it makes a difference. Tanks 2364173718
Salty @chocmilk.bsky.social · 12/11/2025Vices never sounded so sweet Also, the pipes on this lady! Sheesh! open.spotify.com/track/0kD9Bg...open.spotify.comFamily Ties 010
