Reposted by chelseaOld Splooky 👻 @phoopherah.bsky.social · 09/10/2026eating leftovers over the dish pit gang rise up 💪🏽 022
Reposted by chelseaososxe 🇪🇺 🛹 🚲 🍉🟥⬛ @ososxe.eurosky.social · 09/10/2026This is a perfect loop. 10/10 would surrealist again. 051
Reposted by chelseaCyderist @cyderist.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Super funny improvisor deserving of all the love. ❤️ 151
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 17/09/2026If I sent you a song I love that ISN’T casual for me. I spent time thinking about sharing something special with you. Because I love you. Sorry!!!!!! 1131
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 10/09/2026I’m starting another standup class tonight I’m gonna go up and be like “here is a list of everything bad that has ever happened to me” and then I’ll read the list and then I’ll pause and be like “so yeah I’m mostly good to go I just need some punchlines” 2151
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 10/09/2026Me and my emotional support gum since I quit vaping exactly 9 months ago today 1101
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 02/09/2026It’s finally happening again ☺️ I’m in a comedy show with someone who talked shit about me who’s never met me… we are so back 🥹 2202
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 25/08/2026I’ve been talking real nice to my portable air conditioner, saying things like “you’re doing a real good job blowing that cool air all over the place” and “damn I’m gonna need a blanket you’re making me so chilly” and “I love you,” just doing my part to keep morale up 2242
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 24/08/2026“I always see you wearing that same dress” ma’am, hater, we live in a cartoon and this is my character’s everyday outfit. You keep changing outfits because your character is undefined. Embarrassing. 1110
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 09/07/2026Some customers are afraid to be seen as “difficult” 1206
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 04/07/2026(Me on a date) look buddy do you want me to be a good listener or do you want me to eat these chips and salsa at an inauthentically measured pace you get one or you get none 0141
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 02/07/2026(Me on a date) Hey so you know that thing they call it HALT like “hungry angry lonely tired,” I’m like, I’m most of those letters all the time and I’m just trying to not scare the people around me about it… may I have one of your french fries 091
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 09/06/2026I’m going to succeed!! Not because I believe in myself but because I have nowhere else to be!! 180
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 07/06/2026Oh yeah buddy you wanna flip ME off on Santa Monica I got a BIG ol wad of chewed gum in my mouth I go 3 pieces deep minimum since I quit vaping in December you fool!!! I’m emotionally unregulated and my window’s coming down!!!!!’n 080
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 04/06/2026When customers say it’s their first time I am helpful 0210
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 04/06/2026This is what being a waiter in Beverly Hills feels like 0130
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 01/06/2026I was so close to a Sunday midday spiral but Safiya Nygaard just dropped a new “melting a bunch of bullshit together” video on youtube so I’m gonna be ok for at least another 37 minutes plus ad breaks 040
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 17/05/2026You know what in hindsight I may have put a little too much pressure on this jumbo slice of carrot cake to “make it all better” 0110
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 17/05/2026A customer asked me “hey do I know you from tiktok” after I’d just come back from crying on my lunch break 1171
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 15/05/2026Idk I feel like I have more to offer on threads tbh but thanks for having me Bluesky and I’ll keep coming back 1131
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 28/04/2026I’ve never felt more in touch with my “divine feminine” than when I’m trying to describe the weird noise my car is making to the mechanic at pep boys 060
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 27/04/2026Me: I think I’m feeling financially safe enough to treat myself to some cute new clothes Car/cat/immune system/teeth: Lol, lmao 060
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 26/04/2026“I normally never complain or send food back BUT” ma’am say less it is an honor to be part of this once-in-a-lifetime event ✨ 071
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 23/04/2026I’m having endless spaghetti dinners with innumerable celibates like me, discussing beginner-friendly dance classes you’ve never even heard of 050
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 23/04/2026Customer: well what do YOU order here Me: ma’am my dinner was a bag of cheetos I ate next to the dumpster 0191
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 21/04/2026AI will never replace me! Good luck trying! When your AI waitress accidentally pours wine from your $500 bottle into your lap she won’t even cry like I did tonight!! She’ll never love you like me!! 0111
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 14/04/2026I just got hired as an overnight mortuary assistant!! I was worried I didn’t have enough experience but all they asked was if I had a tenuous relationship with alcohol and a weak support system and they just started handing me needles and knives… Excited to start tonight :))) 1141
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 13/04/2026I haven’t vaped in over four months and that’s pretty decent considering *gestures wildly all around* 2110
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 30/03/2026(Me on a date) so I recently learned that not having a strong support system in my adult life is directly connected to complex trauma and that my tendency to isolate is because it is predictable and safe… would you like to touch my boobs 0130
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 10/12/2025Just completed 72 hours without my vape. I have allegedly done significantly harder things than quit vaping but I have amnesia about all that stuff. So embarrassing. Googoo gaga I miss my binky. Blessings. 091
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 03/12/2025Just found out it’s bad luck to blow out an incense stick, you’re supposed to swirl it. This explains everything. I have to call my lawyer. 2112
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 30/09/2025I handle all customer complaints with grace and humility 0143
chelsea @chelseathepope.bsky.social · 24/09/2025I have been raptured! I am writing this from heaven! They gave me a phone bc I got bored and started chewing on the halos 3634
Reposted by chelseaLauren McKenzie @themckenziest.gay · 15/07/2025Hello yes this is my friend Chelsea Pope, and she’s fucking hilarious :) If you’re looking for a little joy in your life….. hard recommend 99917
