iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 4h

using these when my boss asks for a status update

A boomer facebook meme titled: 10 one-liners to handle whining with patience

The list:
1. "Whining is not how we ask for things. Let's try again."
2. "I understand you really want that, but please ask with kindness."
"I see you're upset but your message is getting lost."
4. "Let's practice asking nicely together."
5. "I hear you. Try again with a calm voice."
6. Whiny words won't work. Let's use strong words instead!"
7. Your voice tells me you need a break. Let's take one together."
8. "You're allowed to feel upset, but I need you to speak kindly."
9. "Let's hear your strong voice!"
10. We solve problems with words, not whines

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 30/07/2026

why did my stupid brain make me make this

meme saying “A DUCK CAN NEVER BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE THEREFORE A DUCK MUST NEVER MAKE A MANAGEMENT DECISION”

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 23/06/2026

this and dueling your rival to the death at sunrise

a green clearing of grass in between trees, they’re all deciduous and slanted to the left. It looks like an honorable place to die or like a place in a video game that you’d find some kind of treasure or item

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 16/03/2026

quick I need a scientist with a vague job title to give a layperson explanation of how this would work

an illustration of how a wormhole works using a bet piece of paper and a pencil poked through both sides

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 01/03/2026

reviews are in and the critics are raving

A discord screenshot telling me “I think I might have to unfollow you”

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 16/02/2026

I chime in with a “haven’t you people ever heard of closing the old barn door”

a picture of a brown horse wearing a wedding veil, captioned “what a shame the poor groom’s bride is a horse”

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 29/01/2026

@jcsalterego.bsky.social in case you were wondering about the *correct* way to use that labeler

A screenshot of the jerrified labeler settings with the jerrified label set to “hide”

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 09/01/2026

just going to send this to everyone at work who talks to me for the rest of the day

a cardboard fast food cup with a pink straw leaning over to talk to a brown blob who is wearing a sweatband and it’s captioned “I am 30 or 40 years old and I do not need this”

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 04/12/2025

on my way to stay up too late after waking up rested for the first time in months

the mouse from Tom & Jerry (I can never remember which is which) walking with a smug look on his face

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 19/11/2025

corporate ads are getting so subby now and I don’t like it (and also I am not giving you more info no matter how much you beg)

an unread email from “Meta Horizon” with the subject line “please tell us your birthday”

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 19/10/2025

Who robbed the Louvre? Right answers only

Carmen Sandiego running away with the less-popular contents of that wing in the Louvre

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 15/09/2025

look at this stupid photo and then try to tell me you wouldn’t feel differently about these glasses if stanley tucci was wearing them

a companion photo to the CNN article about Meta’s new smart glasses. It’s a photo of zuckerber wearing chunky black glasses on a black background. The text on the photo reads “mark zuckerberg is making a major bet on the future. He’s about to share it.”

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 13/09/2025

right wingers making sure disgruntled children can still have easy access to guns

lord farquad from shrek making a proclamation that says "charlie kirk may die, but that's a sacrifice i'm willing to make"

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 13/09/2025

cool handle, man. I think I might know your brother, 3200d0e7a0d971f8c1

A follow notification from 3200d0e7a0d971f8c0.bsky.social

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 09/09/2025

uh oh, the mcu defender has logged on, what do I do

someone named Jack quoting my post saying “This is giving 'Seinfeld in the 90s' vibes, where he's just looking to cater to a specific audience and not interested in saying anything new or interesting. Great job, 'Fail Bryan'”

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 28/08/2025

chat we are so fucking back after the shoulder injury

a lifting rack from the side with a 45lb plate on one side of a barbell. in the background is a lifting bench with a blue base. the whole thing is in a garage with unpainted drywall on the right of the frame

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 23/08/2025

what’s wrong babe? you’ve barely touched your donut-prune-cottage-cheese-mayonnaise salad

A recipe for donut prune salad that reads:
Here's a crisp, fresh salad that will cause any "meat and potatoes" man to change his mind. Stew 4 prunes for each person. Pit the prunes and stuff with cottage cheese. Place two donuts on a lettuce leaf, fill the donut centers with cottage cheese and then top each donuf with a stuffed prune. Place two whole pitted prunes beside the donuts. Serve with
mavonnaise

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 03/06/2025

there’s two kinds of people in this world

two gamecube controllers next to each other on a rug, one is orange and one silver

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 21/03/2025

It took me about 5 seconds + the time it took to type my comment also pretty cathartic to write, though I managed not to swear at them

a confirmation screenshot in green saying “Thank you! Your comment has been submitted to Regulations.gov for review by the the Centers For Medicare & Medicaid Services.”

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 08/02/2025

babe your breath stinks, you need some glizzterine

a listerine mouthwash bottle but the color is changed to pink and the label has been edited to say “Glizzterine hot dog mouthwash” with the tagline “glizzy fresh” and a picture of a hotdog.

Also there’s a single hotdog in the bottle.

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 01/02/2025

so glad they finally added this feature

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 01/02/2025

“let’s hop on Dickscord” “ummm you mean Discord?” “that’s what I said, Dickscord”

a picture of McMurray from the show Letterkenny

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 01/02/2025

babe what’s wrong you’ve barely touched your olive joy

a wrapped candy bar that looks like an almond joy but is called “olive joy” and sure enough, below the wrapped bar is another image of the bar cut in half so we can see the cross section and it’s a coconut bar topped with a green olive and covered in chocolate. the olives have a pimento in them, which I think is a really important detail because otherwise the balance of flavors would be way off

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 19/01/2025

kind of surprised microsoft would release an update like this given recent events

a picture of Clippy with a speech bubble saying “it looks like the owner class won't change their ways without the threat or use of violence! would you like help 3d printing a gun?”

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 17/01/2025

do you all feed your girlfriends the wet food or the pellets? I want to make sure I’m getting it right

a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Half Baked ice cream

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 15/01/2025

Don’t you dare turn your eyes away from history, even the awful, scary parts. If you don’t watch it with your own eyes, you rely on others to tell you what you saw. We must all bear witness to what’s coming

a picture of the tiny hippo moo deng, biting a handlers knee. The handler is wearing boots and long pants, and the bite is super cute and doesn’t look like it hurts at all

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 07/01/2025

don’t call it a pussy it’s a

a page from a cookbook showing a dish with the caption “Molded Beef Ring: Meat set in gelatin and waiting in the refrigerator brings peace of mind when company's coming. Recipe, page 289, is in Chapter 19”

it looks like exactly what you’d expect

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 04/01/2025

what’s the matter babe, you’ve barely touched your Beef Tarts™

a pop tarts box where the flavor is “frosted ground beef”. the pop tarts are the pink color of ground beef, there’s a picture of some beef next to them, and in the top left corner a picture of a cow saying “grass fed! never frozen!”

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 26/12/2024

the candy cane she tells you not to worry about

a thick, two pound candy cane. there’s a hand holding it for scale and the fingers can barely close around it. it’s completely straight, no hook, and kind of impossible to describe how girthy this thing looks

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 19/12/2024

this kind of smart, mixed-use, walkable urbanism is illegal to build in most American cities

a gingerbread village with connected buildings and mixed commercial/residentiap uses, it looks cozy and nice. in the background is some pine branches with ornaments

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 13/12/2024

I made cardamom buns and they came out okay

two and a half cardamom buns on a white plate. they have a glaze on them and they’re twisted into strands and then coiled so they look like a spiral within a spiral. they’re pretty dark brown which in this case is on purpose

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 02/12/2024

where’s the “always allow” button?

A dialog with “allow/deny” buttons that says “Allow me to access your frontal lobe? this person is requesting permission to lobotomize you. I would like to lobotomize you with an ice pick”

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 29/11/2024

what’s the matter babe, you’ve barely touched your shower kraut

a jar on a supermarket shelf labeled “shower kraut” with the tagline “bathtub-aged sauerkraut” and there’s a picture of a shirtless guy with wet hair eating a mouthful with a fork out of a cereal bowl. honestly the idea of eating sauerkraut like cereal is the most fucked up part of this image to me

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bryan (Taylor’s Version) @bryan.town · 28/11/2024

“there’s no such thing as a thanksgiving song, thanksgiving doesn’t have any bangers” okay then explain this

a screenshot of spotify, showing a song “Gobble Gobble” by Matthew West (the song is currently playing)

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