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briween

@briween.bsky.social
597 followers 209 following 7.1K posts

writer, raconteur, occasional roll-top desk. whip-smart and box-of-hammers-stupid. i'm not making it complicated on purpose, that's just how i think. something something simpsons reference

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briween @briween.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
either it's the screwed up look on his face or the baggy coat over his baggier body but his hands look tiny in this picture
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
saw the Madden trailer, hey cool, but also why does nic cage sound like buffalo bill from silence of the lambs
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
just in time for hannukah
aljazeera.com
NAZA, Israeli film on Gaza, to stream for free after theatrical run
Co-director Yuval Abraham says documentary exposing Israeli abuses will be available online in November.
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
new epitaph unlocked
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
if my computer forces just one more restart i swear i'm gonna keep sitting here watching it but i'll be really huffy and indignant
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
60 years on from the Gulf & Western acquisition of Paramount and no one's learned a thing. fewer script sales. fewer production jobs. product will just get worse and fill fewer exhibitor screens. sure, what jobs remain will stay in california... until it happens again. this solves nothing.
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
please crap
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
i now have two "sexiest organs in the human body" and so do you
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
also in california when you get the job you're told "you're jallaed"
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
peter bogdanovich was a real fuckboy huh
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Mediocrity: eh, or meh?
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Reposted by briween
The Almighty Tallest @spooknine.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
"Billy, this is Mark Carney. He's one of the most undervalued PMs in NATO. His defect is that he's boring."
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Reposted by briween
We're just normal men @wejustinnocentmen.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
We’re just innocent men
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
knuckle tats: P L Ē Z C L A P
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
the last decade only comes around 10 times a century
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
will forte is the god damn best
will forte appearing on good hang with amy poehler, recreating the scene from his groundlings days that won him a spot on SNL. he is singing the phrase "i suck cock for my face paint" over and over in multiple iterations with different soulful trills.
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
downgrade a movie: Monty Python and the Somewhat Sacred Red Solo Cup
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
every day i want to live as hostility-free as i can and then i read about some goblin in power doing goblin things to hurt non-goblins and my plan goes out the fucking window
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
new epitaph unlocked
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
if you ever wondered why the world both loves and is crushe by the loss of dolly parton, it's because she gave her music to the world but also so much of herself. RIP Dolly
billboard.com
A Timeline of Dolly Parton’s Good Deeds
Dolly Parton is not only talented, but she's also charitable.
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
one of the best scenes in cinema history
youtube.com
From a Rooster to a Hen: Dolly Parton Confronts Dabney Coleman in 9 to 5 (1980)
YouTube video by To Old Hollywood and Beyond!
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
the 5 Simpsons lines I’ve uttered most off the top of my head 1. i just think they're neat 2. wanna fight?/them's fighting words 3. my son is also named bort 4. i am so smart/i am so smart/s-m-r-t 5. what the hell was that?!
static.klipy.com
Krusty The Clown: What The Hell Was That?
Alt: Krusty The Clown: What The Hell Was That?
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
if you see this, you're legally obligated to quote with your favorite Star Wars character
john candy as barf in spaceballs (1987), the best star wars movie ever made
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
"what up guys, it's ya boi Trashman Mike, i'm outside ya house right now and PHEW that's a lotta diapers for one baby anyway like and subscribe for more reviews of ya physical waste"
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
when the chronically misunderstood finally find understanding never 🐺 let 🐺 go 🏍️💨
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
no internet, i do not want you to serve up every video you have of hayden panettiere on your talk shows and your drama shows just because she's dead now, you fucking content ghoul
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
gif of your mental health
static.klipy.com
Terminator Thumbs Up in Molten Metal
Alt: from Terminator 2, the T-800 gives a final thumbs up as it descends into molten metal
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Reposted by briween
priscilla page @priscillapage.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
regret to inform you if you're in my mentions trying to argue with Bruce Campbell about what the Evil Dead movies should be, you sound insane
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
the democratic party is totally killing it right now, yeah?
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
david brooks is a spineless centrist wad who would sell out trans people to elect even less useful spineless centrist wads sure, he'll leave his wife of 27 years for a younger woman, but perpetual capitulation to MAGA? 'til death do they part a complete piece of fucking shit ...so, yes, he's GOP
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
my banner approves this thumbnail
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
"well, i think it may be very comforting to go bye-bye, and i want to earn it." -- tim curry, on death absolute unit
tim curry, 80, seated in a wheelchair speaking to someone off-camera. he wears a black button-up shirt.
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
mitch mcconnell and the angel of death at a cocktail party:
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
the sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
KBBL radio hosts in The Simpsons listening to the DJ-3000, which says: "Looks like those clowns in congress did it again. What a bunch of clowns."
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
If you see this, quote the energy you bring to Bluesky
you are doomed
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
downplay a book or movie: bill & ted's pleasurable outing
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
i'll tell you once i'm done grinding in this dungeon with respawning enemies *plays until i am a skeleton but at least i am smiling*
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
ever asked a dead guy to give up a seat? they're noticeably unresponsive
NY Times headline/lede that reads:

"Why Mitch McConnell Isn't Giving Up His Senate Seat

Democrats are demanding that the Kentucky Republican resign. Others who were sidelined for far longer faced no such calls, but times are changing."
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
if either pundits or politicians operated by "first do no harm" both jobs would cease to exist
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
new epitaph unlocked
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
on a somewhat related note, my lovely and talented wife @conniela.bsky.social recounted a moment she was talking to her boss trying to recall someone's name and said they have "cybertruck hair" and i immediately knew what it looked like and it's my new favorite phrase
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
reading your posts
static.klipy.com
Bender Bender Futurama
Alt: Bender from Futurama shitting bricks
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
Post a perfect album from the 90s that isn’t Nirvana, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam or Alice In Chains
album cover for Midnight Marauders by A Tribe Called Quest (1993)
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
ted cruz has a voice like if you taught a fart how to whine
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We're just normal men @wejustinnocentmen.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
We’re just innocent men
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
this was, at one time, the UK's most common way to imply that the person you went out with last night dyes their hair
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briween @briween.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
her body isn't even cold
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The saddest girl to ever hold a martini @lifeisterrible.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
Without saying your age, what's your favorite movie that came out when you were 18?
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