iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Brandon (Average Lotion to Dismiss Enjoyer) @brandonjschwartz.com · 26/09/2026

How the cop looks at you after pulling you over for going 85 in a school zone and you say, “I wasn’t driving in commerce. I was traveling in my dry-docked vessel.”

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Brandon (Average Lotion to Dismiss Enjoyer) @brandonjschwartz.com · 22/09/2026

I asked a prominent LLM whether it was defamatory to call Kyle Rittenhouse a murderer and it seemed to suggest it was somehow a close call. It's not. Proof the AI cannot do competent legal research.

Is it defamatory to call Kyle Rittenhouse a murderer?

Potentially, yes—but not simply because the word “murderer” is harsh or insulting. The key questions are whether the statement would be understood as a factual assertion, whether it is false, and whether the speaker has the constitutionally required level of fault.

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Brandon (Average Lotion to Dismiss Enjoyer) @brandonjschwartz.com · 18/09/2026

People continue to engage with my brand, improving the firm's visibility online.

Message: Just wanted to let you know how disappointed I am in you. I can’t believe you were so disrespectful, attacking Nick with a low-class comment about his penxx!?. Really? I am deeply offended by your comments. Can’t you debate the issues instead? Obviously not. Nick is simply trying to help find corruption. Are you hiding something? You need to work on yourself and get los

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Brandon (Average Lotion to Dismiss Enjoyer) @brandonjschwartz.com · 17/09/2026

It isn’t defamatory to say someone has a giant penis.

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Brandon (Average Lotion to Dismiss Enjoyer) @brandonjschwartz.com · 16/09/2026

The face you make when Congress finds out about you and the goat.

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Brandon (Average Lotion to Dismiss Enjoyer) @brandonjschwartz.com · 09/09/2026

LAWRENCE BANNED: Former Walnut Creek anesthesiologist Lawrence Pebble has been banned from interacting with my red hot brand for ANY reason. Thank you for your attention to this matter!

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Brandon (Average Lotion to Dismiss Enjoyer) @brandonjschwartz.com · 06/09/2026

Important jurisprudence is being done here. In California, you can call Jennifer Seelig a chicken butt big skank.

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Brandon (Average Lotion to Dismiss Enjoyer) @brandonjschwartz.com · 03/09/2026

If I even approached this otherwise sweet baby with anything resembling a leash, my entrails would be on the floor.

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Brandon (Average Lotion to Dismiss Enjoyer) @brandonjschwartz.com · 31/08/2026

Stewardess: Is there a doctor on board? Doctor Dan: yes ma’am. Just you this evening?

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Brandon (Average Lotion to Dismiss Enjoyer) @brandonjschwartz.com · 30/08/2026

Your item listing is raising questions that are answered by the listing.

A C3PO flask listing
“Star Wars flask”
“Very good”

“Description
Star Wars flask. From clean home, has never been inserted rectally”

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Brandon (Average Lotion to Dismiss Enjoyer) @brandonjschwartz.com · 16/08/2026

A protest! *bang bang* Wisconsin! *bang bang* State lines! *bang bang* Two murders!

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Brandon (Average Lotion to Dismiss Enjoyer) @brandonjschwartz.com · 04/08/2026

They’re liking my pubes question. After bringing up pubes all on their own. But fair warning, this toy might already be broken. Sad state of affairs, really.

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Brandon (Average Lotion to Dismiss Enjoyer) @brandonjschwartz.com · 04/08/2026

Glad the miscreant behind this account admits to their skill issue. First step toward recovery. Maybe second step. Getting vaccinated and preserving your hardness should “come” first.

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Brandon (Average Lotion to Dismiss Enjoyer) @brandonjschwartz.com · 04/08/2026

Clearly not. @eharperxo.bsky.social is having a very common response to the combination of the vaccine and exposure to my red hot brand. If no one has gotten tighter or overstimulated from interacting with you, that sounds like a skill issue.