Reposted by The BluesmobileThe Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 25/10/2025When you wear this costume, your wife needs to have secret code words to let her friends know when she’s in danger. 04113
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 17hGary Gulman is your favorite comedian’s favorite comedian. There are only a few tickets left because you fucked around and you just found out you waited too long. Get it on! @garygulman.bsky.social gotickets.com/gary-gulman 070
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 03/10/2026This is some good mellow music to listen to when you’re drinking and fighting the urge to break a pool cue over your hood and start beating the lvin shit outta everyone around you.music.apple.comI'm God by Clams Casino & Imogen Heap on Apple MusicSong · 2020 · Duration 4:37 110
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 02/10/2026I am legally changing my name to “Saul Allgood” just to confuse people and watch them fuck it up everytime they have to say it or write it. THATS HOW DEDICATED I AM TO COMEDY. Also I think it’s haalarous, Your Honor. @ayallgood.bsky.social 2102
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Does anybody else remember how weed used to got real hard to find before an election? Or am I just hallucinating from all the weed, peyote, nitrous oxide, and throwing-bottle bourbon (aka “the four food groups”)? 2100
Reposted by The BluesmobileThe Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 01/10/2026“Hi, yes, I would like to cancel America’s subscription of King Dementia Don Fitzputin of Pedophilia as our Rapist Criminal President. Where do I click to cancel?” (Please don’t tell me the button is anywhere near his sour McShits-filled triple-XL diaper.) 042
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Shhhhhhhh! Pay attention, kids! Listen to your Uncle Colin. @fermiparasocks.bsky.social 292
Reposted by The BluesmobileThe Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 01/10/2026You simply cannot consent when you’ve been drugged or when Mrs. Bluesmbile shoves a ball gag into your carborator. The drugged / no consent is ILLEGAL everywhere. Give me a few more months to get back to you on the ball gag in the carburetor. @nofirstorder.bsky.social #MrsBluesmobile 111
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 01/10/2026“You suck, you morally bankrupt prick! Go fuck yourself!”theonion.comJD Vance Booed By Own Reflection In MirrorWASHINGTON—In an expression of outrage at the vice president for his perceived ineptitude and lack of principles, JD Vance was reportedly booed Monday by his own reflection in the mirror. “You suck, y... 0144
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Reason 1,000,001 why abortion should be legal and easy to get: 1130
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Too bad Hogbreath doesn’t have a “No Drunkies” Policy, because then that drunk piece of alcoholic shit would have to resign and drink himself to death. I’m buying!!! Drinks on me!!! 3234
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Oh Gat dam #TruthHurts like a kick to your tiny rapist balls. 2146
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Does anybody know if you can go to rehab because you can’t stop playing this song and you threaten to kill anyone who even LOOKS at your 8-track radio knobs? It’s been 29 hours straight and I just gotta hear it just ONE MORE TIME gaddammit!!!!! 120
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 30/09/2026“The only thing that’ll stop a bad guy with measles, is a good guy with measles.” - Republikkan logic #NaziAmericadailymail.comMeasles cases surge past 3,600 as a quarter are recorded in one stateThere have been 3,659 measles infections in the US as of September 24 - compared with 2,289 cases reported for the entire year in 2025. 182
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 29/09/2026This picture has now made me laugh for 364 straight days. 1266
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Why didn’t he just wish for “Infinite Rizz?” That woulda been a much better way to solve ALL his problems. #Obsession #NatalieHarp 170
Reposted by The BluesmobileThe Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 12/08/2026I have really cleaned up my fucking act since @jay.bsky.team put a “Rude” label on me. Honk honk Jay!!static.klipy.comJohn Belushi Chugs from Bottle in College SweaterALT: John Belushi Chugs from Bottle in College Sweater 161
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 28/09/2026CAUTION: Don’t listen to this song unless you wanna be HOOKED. Seriously, you won’t be able to stop listening to it. @bluesmusic.bsky.socialmusic.apple.comFrog Hop by Earl Hooker on Apple MusicSong · 1999 · Duration 2:27 040
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Tommy Tuberville musta smashed his head too much playing football, cause this is what he sees when he boards a plane. 4211
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Check out my beautiful and haalarious fiance showing off her new back. Gad her parents are really gonna hate me. @nofirstorder.bsky.social #MrsBluesmobile 350
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Sucklers vs Bungles Fortunately my team of Anger Management Therapists does not allow me to watch it. Honestly, I’m not even angry. I’m just disappointed. 391
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 27/09/2026“Heil Hitler!” - Benjamin Netanyahu #NaziIsrael #NaziAmerica 060
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Dear Family Farmers, Enjoy your Socialism. Sincerely, The Bluesmobile, (D) California #FarmAid2026 1192
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Nothing better than Saturday breakfast with friends, pouring a buncha Bloody Marys into your tank and then barfing them into your neighbor’s hedges just in time for Saturday lunch martinis. 2203
Reposted by The BluesmobileThe Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 26/09/2026And on the eighth day, God made stupid people. “Let there be Chucklefucks!” And it was not good. 1363
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Do you guys wanna hear a joke? (Joke Sponsored by Frey Ranch Bourbon, the world’s HEAVIEST throwing bottle. ) 490
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Goodbye Summer 2026. Just like Dominos pizza, you are a magical creation of Gad that is so fucking awesome and yet totally SUCKS in every way. Oh Summer 2026. This thread of 7 posts was the highlight of my summer on Bluesky. 031
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Playing in the New Mexico garage safehouse. Certainly AI will keep some of you humans around.music.apple.comPets by Porno for Pyros on Apple MusicSong · 1993 · Duration 3:36 140
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 25/09/2026"There are no bigger hypocrites than Republikkkans who preach hate on behalf of their purposeful misinterpretation of their religion.” - Democratic political strategist and healthcare advocate Melanie D'Arrigo 1100
Reposted by The BluesmobilePaulley Ticks @tomadelsbach.bsky.social · 25/09/2026BREAKING: While dining in the White House with Chinese President Xi Jinping, President Trump commits an international fashion faux pas. 1312542
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Apparently someone on my team googled “postage rates” to send out a bunch of packages, and AI took over like a total douchebag and gave them all the wrong info based on 2025 postage rates. That’s how fucking dumb AI is. And now AI is helping King Dementia Don commit war crimes.time.comU.S. May Have Committed War Crimes in Iran, U.N. Report SaysA U.N. fact-finding mission said the U.S. launched “indiscriminate attacks,” including on a school, that killed civilians. 280
Reposted by The BluesmobileThe Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 23/09/2026“Heil Hitler!” - Israeli Ambassador 112
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Sweet Anu, @nofirstorder.bsky.social we really need a “woman’s touch” to spruce up our safehouse in Minnesota. Do you still have those five crates of dynamite I gave you on your birthday? 260
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Things aren’t looking good for Susan Collins. 270
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 23/09/2026In a strange twist of fate, the JEWS have become the NAZIS!!! Tell me I’m wrong. (You better have a couple stiff drinks first.) 1102
Reposted by The BluesmobileThe Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 21/08/2026Natalie Harper to star in “Simple Jack 2: Republikkkan Boogaloo.” The movie is over budget because they have to rub so much peanut butter on her teeth to get her to talk. 6163
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 21/09/2026ARBYS!!! Bom! Bom! Bom! You have the shits!static.klipy.comArby's Half Pound Roast Beef SandwichesALT: Arby's Half Pound Roast Beef Sandwiches 4150
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Researchers are saying that Artificial Intelligence will kill all humans within a few decades. Clearly those researchers never conducted the gold-standard “Gary Gulman Test.” @garygulman.bsky.social 140
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 21/09/2026The next time you find yourself doing anything bad, committing a sin, crime or misdemeanor, cheating on your diet or your spouse, or ANY TIME you feel ANY guilt or shame, use my QR code for a 10% discount. 270
Reposted by The BluesmobileDarth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 20/09/2026I thought the symbol of Ukraine was the Trident, not the smoke dragon. 25750113
Reposted by The BluesmobileThe Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 20/09/2026“Nobody should do what I do. Not even me,” according to my lawyers at Moore, Harder & Dontstop. 142
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 20/09/2026This is another GREAT SONG that sounds EVEN BETTER when you are driving 120 mph.music.apple.comI Ain't Goin' Out Like That by Cypress Hill on Apple MusicSong · 1993 · Duration 4:27 291
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 19/09/2026It’s Saturday night somewhere. Load this into your 8-track and BLAST IT.music.apple.comHornet's Nest (feat. Jimi Hendrix) by Curtis Knight & The Squires on Apple MusicSong · 2020 · Duration 3:47 010
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 19/09/2026“Our Daily Prayer (2026 Version)” Oh dear Lawd, please let me see King Dementia Don Fitzputin of Pedophila go to prison someday before Artificial Ignorance kills all humans. Amen. #TeamLiamNissanTM 3110
Reposted by The BluesmobileThe Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Commanding the military to bring him another pudding cup. 1113
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Goddam WEIRDOS! You know who you are!!! Also, thank you. 030
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Brainworm Bobby should’ve shot more heroin in high school science class. 1334
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Since those malditos bandidos at Espolon Tequila @espolontequila.bsky.social are refusing to pay my sponsorship fees, #TeamLiamNissanTM is now sponsored by this delicious Nevada grain-farm bourbon which comes in an extremely convenient THREE POUND THROWIN’ BOTTLE. Whip it real good. 153
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 18/09/2026This is the funniest thing any of us will see today, so we might as well just go ahead and log off. Thank you, Paulley. I’ll be back on Monday. @tomadelsbach.bsky.social 0162
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 18/09/2026Are you stalking me, you creepy weirdo? If so, this is the best way to do it: bsky.app/profile/did:... Pin that shit. 053