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The Bluesmobile

@bluesmobile.bsky.social
18K followers 623 following 16K posts

Cop motor, cop tires, cop suspension, cop shocks. Hates Illinois Nazis. Don’t try to argue with me. I am a CAR for chrissakes, and my 8-track/onboard SCMOD computer is state-of-the-art in 1980. #TeamLiamNissanTM

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Reposted by The Bluesmobile
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 25/10/2025
When you wear this costume, your wife needs to have secret code words to let her friends know when she’s in danger.
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 17h
Gary Gulman is your favorite comedian’s favorite comedian. There are only a few tickets left because you fucked around and you just found out you waited too long. Get it on! @garygulman.bsky.social gotickets.com/gary-gulman
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
This is some good mellow music to listen to when you’re drinking and fighting the urge to break a pool cue over your hood and start beating the lvin shit outta everyone around you.
music.apple.com
I'm God by Clams Casino & Imogen Heap on Apple Music
Song · 2020 · Duration 4:37
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I am legally changing my name to “Saul Allgood” just to confuse people and watch them fuck it up everytime they have to say it or write it. THATS HOW DEDICATED I AM TO COMEDY. Also I think it’s haalarous, Your Honor. @ayallgood.bsky.social
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Does anybody else remember how weed used to got real hard to find before an election? Or am I just hallucinating from all the weed, peyote, nitrous oxide, and throwing-bottle bourbon (aka “the four food groups”)?
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
“Hi, yes, I would like to cancel America’s subscription of King Dementia Don Fitzputin of Pedophilia as our Rapist Criminal President. Where do I click to cancel?” (Please don’t tell me the button is anywhere near his sour McShits-filled triple-XL diaper.)
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Shhhhhhhh! Pay attention, kids! Listen to your Uncle Colin. @fermiparasocks.bsky.social
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
You simply cannot consent when you’ve been drugged or when Mrs. Bluesmbile shoves a ball gag into your carborator. The drugged / no consent is ILLEGAL everywhere. Give me a few more months to get back to you on the ball gag in the carburetor. @nofirstorder.bsky.social #MrsBluesmobile
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
“You suck, you morally bankrupt prick! Go fuck yourself!”
theonion.com
JD Vance Booed  By Own Reflection  In Mirror
WASHINGTON—In an expression of outrage at the vice president for his perceived ineptitude and lack of principles, JD Vance was reportedly booed Monday by his own reflection in the mirror. “You suck, y...
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Reason 1,000,001 why abortion should be legal and easy to get:
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Too bad Hogbreath doesn’t have a “No Drunkies” Policy, because then that drunk piece of alcoholic shit would have to resign and drink himself to death. I’m buying!!! Drinks on me!!!
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Oh Gat dam #TruthHurts like a kick to your tiny rapist balls.
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Does anybody know if you can go to rehab because you can’t stop playing this song and you threaten to kill anyone who even LOOKS at your 8-track radio knobs? It’s been 29 hours straight and I just gotta hear it just ONE MORE TIME gaddammit!!!!!
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
“The only thing that’ll stop a bad guy with measles, is a good guy with measles.” - Republikkan logic #NaziAmerica
dailymail.com
Measles cases surge past 3,600 as a quarter are recorded in one state
There have been 3,659 measles infections in the US as of September 24 - compared with 2,289 cases reported for the entire year in 2025.
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
This picture has now made me laugh for 364 straight days.
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Why didn’t he just wish for “Infinite Rizz?” That woulda been a much better way to solve ALL his problems. #Obsession #NatalieHarp
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
I have really cleaned up my fucking act since @jay.bsky.team put a “Rude” label on me. Honk honk Jay!!
static.klipy.com
John Belushi Chugs from Bottle in College Sweater
ALT: John Belushi Chugs from Bottle in College Sweater
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
CAUTION: Don’t listen to this song unless you wanna be HOOKED. Seriously, you won’t be able to stop listening to it. @bluesmusic.bsky.social
music.apple.com
Frog Hop by Earl Hooker on Apple Music
Song · 1999 · Duration 2:27
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Tommy Tuberville musta smashed his head too much playing football, cause this is what he sees when he boards a plane.
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Check out my beautiful and haalarious fiance showing off her new back. Gad her parents are really gonna hate me. @nofirstorder.bsky.social #MrsBluesmobile
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Sucklers vs Bungles Fortunately my team of Anger Management Therapists does not allow me to watch it. Honestly, I’m not even angry. I’m just disappointed.
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
“Heil Hitler!” - Benjamin Netanyahu #NaziIsrael #NaziAmerica
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Dear Family Farmers, Enjoy your Socialism. Sincerely, The Bluesmobile, (D) California #FarmAid2026
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Nothing better than Saturday breakfast with friends, pouring a buncha Bloody Marys into your tank and then barfing them into your neighbor’s hedges just in time for Saturday lunch martinis.
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
And on the eighth day, God made stupid people. “Let there be Chucklefucks!” And it was not good.
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Do you guys wanna hear a joke? (Joke Sponsored by Frey Ranch Bourbon, the world’s HEAVIEST throwing bottle. )
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Goodbye Summer 2026. Just like Dominos pizza, you are a magical creation of Gad that is so fucking awesome and yet totally SUCKS in every way. Oh Summer 2026. This thread of 7 posts was the highlight of my summer on Bluesky.
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Playing in the New Mexico garage safehouse. Certainly AI will keep some of you humans around.
music.apple.com
Pets by Porno for Pyros on Apple Music
Song · 1993 · Duration 3:36
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
"There are no bigger hypocrites than Republikkkans who preach hate on behalf of their purposeful misinterpretation of their religion.” - Democratic political strategist and healthcare advocate Melanie D'Arrigo
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Reposted by The Bluesmobile
Paulley Ticks @tomadelsbach.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
BREAKING: While dining in the White House with Chinese President Xi Jinping, President Trump commits an international fashion faux pas.
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Apparently someone on my team googled “postage rates” to send out a bunch of packages, and AI took over like a total douchebag and gave them all the wrong info based on 2025 postage rates. That’s how fucking dumb AI is. And now AI is helping King Dementia Don commit war crimes.
time.com
U.S. May Have Committed War Crimes in Iran, U.N. Report Says
A U.N. fact-finding mission said the U.S. launched “indiscriminate attacks,” including on a school, that killed civilians.
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Reposted by The Bluesmobile
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
“Heil Hitler!” - Israeli Ambassador
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Sweet Anu, @nofirstorder.bsky.social we really need a “woman’s touch” to spruce up our safehouse in Minnesota. Do you still have those five crates of dynamite I gave you on your birthday?
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Things aren’t looking good for Susan Collins.
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
In a strange twist of fate, the JEWS have become the NAZIS!!! Tell me I’m wrong. (You better have a couple stiff drinks first.)
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Natalie Harper to star in “Simple Jack 2: Republikkkan Boogaloo.” The movie is over budget because they have to rub so much peanut butter on her teeth to get her to talk.
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
ARBYS!!! Bom! Bom! Bom! You have the shits!
static.klipy.com
Arby's Half Pound Roast Beef Sandwiches
ALT: Arby's Half Pound Roast Beef Sandwiches
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Researchers are saying that Artificial Intelligence will kill all humans within a few decades. Clearly those researchers never conducted the gold-standard “Gary Gulman Test.” @garygulman.bsky.social
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
The next time you find yourself doing anything bad, committing a sin, crime or misdemeanor, cheating on your diet or your spouse, or ANY TIME you feel ANY guilt or shame, use my QR code for a 10% discount.
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Reposted by The Bluesmobile
Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I thought the symbol of Ukraine was the Trident, not the smoke dragon.
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Reposted by The Bluesmobile
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
“Nobody should do what I do. Not even me,” according to my lawyers at Moore, Harder & Dontstop.
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
This is another GREAT SONG that sounds EVEN BETTER when you are driving 120 mph.
music.apple.com
I Ain't Goin' Out Like That by Cypress Hill on Apple Music
Song · 1993 · Duration 4:27
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
It’s Saturday night somewhere. Load this into your 8-track and BLAST IT.
music.apple.com
Hornet's Nest (feat. Jimi Hendrix) by Curtis Knight & The Squires on Apple Music
Song · 2020 · Duration 3:47
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
“Our Daily Prayer (2026 Version)” Oh dear Lawd, please let me see King Dementia Don Fitzputin of Pedophila go to prison someday before Artificial Ignorance kills all humans. Amen. #TeamLiamNissanTM
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Reposted by The Bluesmobile
The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Commanding the military to bring him another pudding cup.
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Goddam WEIRDOS! You know who you are!!! Also, thank you.
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Brainworm Bobby should’ve shot more heroin in high school science class.
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Since those malditos bandidos at Espolon Tequila @espolontequila.bsky.social are refusing to pay my sponsorship fees, #TeamLiamNissanTM is now sponsored by this delicious Nevada grain-farm bourbon which comes in an extremely convenient THREE POUND THROWIN’ BOTTLE. Whip it real good.
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
This is the funniest thing any of us will see today, so we might as well just go ahead and log off. Thank you, Paulley. I’ll be back on Monday. @tomadelsbach.bsky.social
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The Bluesmobile @bluesmobile.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Are you stalking me, you creepy weirdo? If so, this is the best way to do it: bsky.app/profile/did:... Pin that shit.
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