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Awlbie 🍂 🎃

@awlbie.bsky.social
279 followers 75 following 31.2K posts

Stop it. Get some help. Long Covid/CFS/OH/MCAS/Migraineur She/they. Used to be @awlbiste.gay [It's pronounced like owl-beast.]

PostsRepliesMedia
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 21/10/2026
Urban deer give zero fucks
Whitetail deer behind my patio, picture taken to show how close it is, maybe 15 feet from my door. Zoomed in view of a juvenile male whitetail deer eating weeds behind my patio.
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Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 21/10/2026
Go to your camera roll and search "boat" and then post a picture of a boat you like. This made me laugh like an idiot so this is the one you get
A view of Lake Michigan from South Haven, MI. One tiny sailboat off in the distance if you zoom in
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Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Four panel comic. 
Panel 1: Online discourse. Opinion A vs Opinion B. 
Panel 2: Person saying "I should weigh in..."
Panel 3: Same person shaking their head thinking "Actually... no. No, I shouldn't."
Panel 4: Same person nodding and thinking "Sometimes ya gotta tell yourself to STFU"
030 3
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Me to every red carpet starlet
Emma Thompson in Cruella saying "It could do with a lining."
030 3
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
"bring your whole self to work"
Bugs Bunny saying "no"
020 2
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Tommy Pickles from Nickelodeon's animated show Rugrats
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Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Peeked behind my living room curtains to see what some noise was outside and look at this massive spotted orbweaver
The underside of a female spotted orbweaver spider hanging outside a window, she is at least 1.5 inches long
110 1
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Every time I get a reply with a question answered in the original email I just want to send back
Meme of a child making a "are you fucking joking" face
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Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
"Right in front of my" meme format image. The figure is holding a Costco rotisserie chicken and the text says "not in front of my Costco rotisserie chicken"
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Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
I mean look at this fucking thing
Close up of a copilot button on a Dell keyboard
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Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
Lmaoooooo
Reddit thread title: 'Children of Blood and Bone' Author Says Film Adaptation Is 'Worst Thing' She's Lived Through

Top comment from Christopher Paolini: First time, huh?
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Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Pedro Pascal holding his phone up, he's looking at it and has a smile on his face.
010 1
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
And yet, for all of the incalculable damage the Court’s Reconstruction Jurisprudence has visited upon the cause of civil and human rights, perhaps the one stain that may yet remain indelible is the notion upon which all of these decisions ultimately rest that civil rights are the moral equivalent of special rights and that, no matter how formerly (and presently) persecuted or despised, racial minorities would do well to recognize when the time has come to just move on.
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Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
I actually have the model that only ever *causes* stress
Your Cat May Not Ease Stress The Way You Think, Study Finds
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Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 12/06/2026

“The door refused to open. It said, “Five cents, please.”
He searched his pockets. No more coins; nothing. “I’ll pay you tomorrow,” he told the door. Again he tried the knob. Again it remained locked tight. “What I pay you,” he informed it, “is in the nature of a gratuity; I don’t have to pay you.”
“I think otherwise,” the door said. “Look in the purchase contract you signed when you bought this conapt.”
In his desk drawer he found the contract; since signing it he had found it necessary to refer to the document many times. Sure enough; payment to his door for opening and shutting constituted a mandatory fee. Not a tip.
“You discover I’m right,” the door said. It sounded smug.
From the drawer beside the sink Joe Chip got a stainless steel knife; with it he began systematically to unscrew the bolt assembly of his apt’s money-gulping door.
“I’ll sue you,” the door said as the first screw fell out.
Joe Chip said, “I’ve never been sued by a door. But I guess I can live through it.”
― Philip K. Dick, Ubik
021 2
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 28/04/2026
who? this guy?
THE HILL 
House
Jeffries says Trump impeachment not a top priority if Dems win House majority
by Ashleigh Fields - 04/26/26 10:44 AM ET
074 7
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 04/04/2026
lmao coworker who quit that was always kinda shitty at me sent a multi paragraph email on her last day (today). k.
i ain't reading all that
i'm happy for u tho
or sorry that happened
030 3
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
You on your first day of work:
Dwight from The Office with bologna on his face.
110 1
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 19/03/2026
Beef and Cabbage Stir Fry
In a jar mix:
1/4 C soy sauce
2T toasted sesame oil
2T sriracha
1.5T sesame seeds
1T brown sugar
Shake and set aside/put in fridge if making ahead 

To a very large hot skillet add:
1lb ground beef or pork
6 cubes frozen ginger
4t jar garlic
Several shakes sesame seeds
Cook until beef is browned and ginger is all melted in

Lower heat and add:
2 9oz bags of TJs shredded red & green cabbage and carrots (cole slaw mix)
1 bag cooked TJs frozen jasmine rice
Stir continously until cabbage is to your preferred crunch level

Give sauce a good shake and add to skillet, stir until heated through

Serve with sesame seeds and sriracha
270 7
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 12/03/2026
Image of a scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Text on the bottom reads "She's got huuuuuge... tracts of land!"
010 1
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 05/03/2026
lemme whip out a favorite
Screenshot of a viral tweet that says "i do not support all women. some of you bitches are very dumb!!!"
080 8
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 21/02/2026
girl same
Cat Missal
on the toxic men on "Tell Me Lies:"
"Well, I am gay, so thank god."
041 4
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 18/02/2026
Trash can lid with the text "you dropped your crown, king"
041 4
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 13/02/2026
Had to teach a coworker about this so now you all get to have a HAPPY FLAT FUCK FRIDAY
A very flat, very wide, alligator
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Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 31/01/2026
Describe your bluesky account in a single image
Character in the style of the Mr Men/Little Miss books. Text says Little Miss Chronically Ill And Sick Of This Shit
030 3
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 21/01/2026
watching jarvis johnson's latest on harassing people with ai "pranks" and:

@domovoy7120
4 hours ago
My favorite AI prank is taking hundreds of billions of dollars of investment from investment firms for a nebulous future product, while increasing the cost of power for normal americans, while also polluting the environment both with generators and noise! They really got us with that one!.
120 2
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 13/01/2026
Psychopath behavior
LaundryMan2008
•
8h ago
I always have the big light on no matter what I’m doing whether it’s just watching TV and chilling or working on my tape drives or fixing something else
050 5
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 28/12/2025
Five??? I've never seen 5 raindrops before
Screenshot of weather app showing high of 53F and low of 26F on December 29 with an illustration of a cloud with 5 raindrops
140 4
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 19/12/2025
The #1 movie when you were 10 years old is how your 2026 is going to go. i'm picking the year i turned 10, which was 1994. because i also was 10 in 1995. and i don't know where everyone is getting theirs from but i'm going with worldwide number 1, which i got here: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1994_in...
The Lion King (1994) movie poster
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Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 03/12/2025
Damn, over 10 years old

im on the ither sight
@jon_snow_420
god: i have made Mankind
angels: you fucked up a perfectly good monkey is what you did. look at it. it's got anxiety
084 8
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 22/11/2025
I don't read as much romantasy as I used to but look at this gorgeous ornament I got, I don't think she's on bsky by Elizabeth Kaneda, snarkyco on Instagram and Etsy
Enamel ornament with a pearlescent fill, the image is a reference to the ACOTAR books by Sarah J Maas, 3 mountains with 3 stars
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Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 13/11/2025
i cannot stop thinking about how much i hate this
Kim Kardashian in the show All's Well, her back is to the camera and you can see her thong above the incredibly low waist of her skirt. Fully a third of her ass is out. She is supposedly an attorney working in a law office.
350 5
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 31/10/2025
Matt Hall is a piece of shit, pass it on
A photo of Matt Hall, noted piece of shit, above the headline: Michigan House speaker rejects Senate's $71M food aid bill ahead of SNAP pause

because he's a piece of shit
150 5
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 29/10/2025
If you see this, quote with a vampire that isn't Dracula.
Marceline the Vampire Queen from the show Adventure Time
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Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 27/10/2025
Bout to send this to our financial planner
*to the tune of Destiny's Child's "Say My Name"*

SPELL MY NAME, SPELL MY NAME
IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE EMAIL
IT'S NOT A HIDDEN DETAIL
THE SPELLING DOESN'T CHANGE
030 3
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 26/10/2025
before you try to slide into my DMs, just know I’m built like this (also you can't, i turned them off)
Close-up of an American stop sign
140 4
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 16/10/2025
Meme of Lin-Manuel Miranda as Hamilton appearing to look at a phone that a hand is holding up to the screen. He appears confused.
130 3
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 08/10/2025
Yeah that one, the lyrics have been posted everywhere UNFORTUNATELY
Travis Kelce dick song lyrics
110 1
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 07/10/2025
also absolutely lmao at the picture they chose, got him lookin like
Butt-head of Beavis and Butt-head MTV fame
040 4
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 03/10/2025
Oh, no thank you
Screenshot of the weather forecast from Friday through Monday. Shows the highs in the 80s and the lows at 61F. This is extremely bizarre weather for Michigan in October.
120 2
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 02/10/2025
Charlie from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia eating spaghetti from a bag. The text at the bottom reads, "what is your spaghetti policy here?"
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Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 02/10/2025
Post something random or have an awful October.
An illustrated image of a person seemingly itching or grabbing their butt through their pants
000 0
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 29/09/2025
Falafel is great and all but my guess is most of these people haven't heard of knafeh and that's sad
Food poll where people choose savory or sweet foods. This question was for Egypt and 67% chose falafel vs 33% choosing knafeh
100 1
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 27/09/2025
Herberger's department store
020 2
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 27/09/2025
EIGHTY GODDAMN DEGREES AT THE END OF SEPTEMBER ISN'T "GREAT," SIR
A horrible bullshit headline which says "Great stretch of weather coming: Watch Torregrossa's live Michigan forecast"
010 1
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
just received testing instructions that included telling me not to use viagra or cialis 48 hours before said test.
Two panel comic meme. First panel: man pouting with his arms crossed. Second panel: Same man with his arms raised yelling "I GUESS"
160 6
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
Even with a lower dew point it's still 🤡💩
Graphic showing 97% humidity
140 4
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 23/09/2025
Another clickbaity ass headline. No they don't. It's still the first Sunday in November.
Daylight Saving Time: Clocks turn back early in 2025
040 4
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 22/09/2025
Clickbaity ass fuckin headline. It's for a GRAPHIC NOVEL.
Canceled Sci-Fi Masterpiece Show Continues with Sequel, 3 Years After It Ended Too Soon
020 2
Awlbie 🍂 🎃 @awlbie.bsky.social · 18/09/2025
No new pictures, where are you at mentally?
A cartoon Satan recoiling with his hands raised. Text says "First of all, yikes"
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