iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 9h

I asked the librarian if she knew of any authors who wrote dinosaur novels... She said, "Try Sarah Topps".

001

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 9h

Someone broke into my mates house and stole all of his stone fruit. He is peachless.

000

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 9h

Every time I go to the liquor store, a dude comes out of nowhere to give me advice on what to buy. He’s my spirit guide.

010

Reposted by Australian Groan

DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 02/10/2026

I took my dog to the park today to play frisbee with him. He was useless! I need a flatter dog.

2163

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

A gang of shop lifters are stealing clothes in size order. Police believe the thieves are still at large.

010

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

BREAKING NEWS : A fire has broken out at a vintage Nissan dealership, one car has exploded and its now raining Datsun cogs...

001

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

My son wanted a proper drum kit for his birthday but I got him a miniature one and I'm now expecting wee percussions.

000

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

The other day I saw a really big spider in the mailbox. I am not sure what kind it was, but I do know that it wasn't mail.

000

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

The left earbud is either in the right ear or in the right ear.

000

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I tried watching Edward Scissorhands -Directors Cut earlier today. Turned out it was just a video of Tim Burton getting his hair done.

000

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Robin hood was walking through the forest with Little John. He says, "Little John, why can't we buy better arrows? These are difficult to get on the string!" Little John replies, "Sorry Robin. It's a hard nock life for us."

000

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

First scientist - "I just discovered a faster than light particle" Second Scientist - " I bet you didn't see that coming "

000

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

My mate got sacked from his quality control job at the chocolate factory for being too picky about the coconut ones. It was scrutiny on the Bounty.

001

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I laughed when my boss told me he was sacking me from my job as a human cannonball. I asked him where else are they going to find someone of my calibre?

000

Reposted by Australian Groan

Twonks @twonks.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Sorry but no

405382583

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

I ordered Indian from Ubereats last night. I checked the order for my flatbread but disappointed that I discovered I had naan.

000

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

My new bed plays Metallica to help sooth me to sleep. Nothing else mattress.

000

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Important things to know about constipation: 1. There is no number 2.

010

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

.... At last, we meet for the first time for the last time.......

000

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

The government has announced that by 2030 all new cars will be made from paper... This comes after a major study concluded that 99% of road accidents would be avoided if cars were stationery...

170

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

My pirate friend's rather obese parrot sadly died recently. I asked how he was feeling. "Arrrr, it's a huge weight off my shoulders."

010

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

A friend of mine used to make jewellery in the shape of various tennis equipment. He was eventually arrested for racquet earring.

010

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

How does a pirate get his mast up? He uses a wench! It's international talk like a pirate day.

010

Reposted by Australian Groan

MickDundee58 @lairdmickd.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

"My dog just lazes around the house waiting for his next meal to be delivered." "He's a door dash hound."

2195

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

I'd just finished writing my autobiography when I knocked a bottle of glue over it and now its glued to my hands. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

000

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I was going to rekindle an interest in old school 35mm film photography, but I discovered there are lots of negatives

030

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

The amount of sleep that the average person requires is 5 minutes more..

000

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Police are searching for a man who robbed a music store last night. He got away with the lute

020

Reposted by Australian Groan

MickDundee58 @lairdmickd.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

"I was having a cuppa with the wife this morning and she saved me from choking to death on a biscuit." "She'd eaten them all."

711210

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

There is a new horror movie I.T. There's a nerd hiding in a drain luring people in with free unlimited super fast internet

000

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

I found someone else who's also trying that diet where you routinely skip meals. We became fast friends.

010

Reposted by Australian Groan

wicked-senses.bsky.social @wicked-senses.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Einstein: space is finite, human stupidity is not.

021

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Did you hear about the cannibal scientist who perfected cloning? He ended up so full of himself.

000

Reposted by Australian Groan

MickDundee58 @lairdmickd.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

"I got thrown out of the Park yesterday for arranging squirrels in order of height." "They didn't like me critter sizing."

5493

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

If your accommodation gets downsized from a castle, you’ve been de-moated.

011

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

A friend asked me if I knew anything about 1’s and 0’s. I told him I knew a bit.

000

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish. Unless of course, you play bass

010

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Engineers have successfully made a car that can run on parsley. They are now attempting to make trains that can run on thyme...

000

Reposted by Australian Groan

MickDundee58 @lairdmickd.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

"I took an old stuffed dog to the Antique Roadshow." "The expert said it wouldn't fetch much."

1227823

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

I had trouble falling asleep after a lousy day. They say reading a good book can clear your mind, but all I had was a dictionary. By midnight, I was past "caring."

000

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

I walked into a pet shop and there was no one around "Hello?" I said A small voice replied "Hello?" "Is anyone here?" Again the small voice replied "Is anyone here?" I looked around to see where the voice was coming from, then I realised. It was just a Gecko.

000

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

I thought all my flowers had died but they suddenly started blooming again, I wasn’t sure what type of flower they were but I now think they are reincarnations

000

Reposted by Australian Groan

MickDundee58 @lairdmickd.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

"I work at the Museum, and yesterday they made me move suits of armour all day." "I hate Knight shifts."

1566

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

I used to have a girlfriend who often wore camouflage. Her name was Heidi.

000

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

The other day I rang the Speaking Clock. It said, "What's the matter? Can't you afford a watch or are you too lazy to lift your fat arm up you stupid lazy idiot?... " It was Greenwich Mean Time.

000

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" asked Arthur "Try asking a glass of water"

000

Australian Groan @australiangroan.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

"...and WHOSE hair is that on your shirt?"

000