assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 18/09/2026i can do it in no time flat. i do everything while flat 080
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 14/09/2026losing an argument and angrily slamming the toilet seat as i leave 0141
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 14/09/2026my haters drop coins upon death, which i can use to purchase upgrades for my equipment 1160
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 14/09/2026if i hadn't adopted my dog she'd be roaming the wilds with no one to un-goop her eyes 1191
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 14/09/2026the first wolf was domesticated by a caveman who bravely wiped the wolf's eye goop back onto the wolf's fur 0303
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 14/09/2026i usually make friends by going to board game pubs and eavesdropping until someone says "gene wolfe was cooking" 0151
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 14/09/2026the plural of beyblade is beybs lade. you should try it sometime 1140
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 06/09/2026i'm going to the karaoke place that only has normal stuff tonight, what should i sing? i don't know any normal songs, but the weird songs place was already booked 030
Reposted by assorted berriesskeeter longpenis @guypussy.bsky.social · 04/09/2026they should make a protein cigarette 48014
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 03/09/2026getting followed by an account that has never posted is like walking outside and finding a video camera pointed at your house 0202
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 03/09/2026using the internet to look at cool pictures 0141
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 01/09/2026i'd love to answer all your burning questions 170
Reposted by assorted berriesgosh @woodencube.bsky.social · 31/08/2026hello sir. we're here today because our minority report future prediction tech keeps saying youre going to lop your penis off with a katana by accident. not technically a crime but like obviously we have to stop it 0201
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 30/08/2026sorry redditor, i stopped reading after "a little background: " 180
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 29/08/2026me: am i never to wed? scheming vizier: perhaps thine standards need lowering, your grace... me: johann!! johann, my steamy dreamy standard-bearer with washboard abs who i force to wear a speedo: your grace? me: lower thy standard. turn around, then reeeal slow, just how i like it.. god, yes... 140
Reposted by assorted berriesmorrowind.txt @morrowind-txt.bsky.social · 29/08/2026I am sorry. I thought we might have a common interest. 26623
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 29/08/2026listening to pod cast. i get enough music at my job (music job) 1100
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 29/08/2026i'm retweeting hate speech about the minority group you belong to, right into your feed..... 😈 but!!!!! 👀‼️ it's because i'm *quote-dunking against it* 😇 so really you should be thanking me.. and perhaps we should kiss..? 😏 1487
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 28/08/2026i have a side hustle where i teach ironic detachment to morning people 0141
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 28/08/2026this is already my alt, otherwise I'd deactivate it and make an alt 0130
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 28/08/2026job hunting is as demoralizing as pooping your pants in public every day 2130
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 26/08/2026wokely explaining gene wolfe to strange women 190
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 26/08/2026i'm going to play music with some coworkers today, i hope they don't want to make coworker music. regular's fine. 0110
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 26/08/2026did i get added to something? i gained six followers while not posting for a week 1100
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 26/08/2026you guys are always changing your names and avatars. i roll with it though. we can be friends all over again, and many times as you want 5261
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 20/08/2026youtu.beThe TWiLiGHT SAD ~ Reflection of the TelevisionYouTube video by Rich U 020
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 19/08/2026i got home and started writing and now all of a sudden it's 5am and there's a 2,400 word story in front of me that needs to be edited with a chainsaw 080
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 19/08/2026crying in public would feel really good, but it won't work if i'm trying to make it happen 050
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 18/08/2026my friend invited me for coffee at 5pm today. must've just quit drinking or something 2210
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 18/08/2026my useless superpower is that i can immediately tell if a band is from LA based on 5 seconds of a song or a single press photo 1110
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 17/08/2026i was happy with my state farm auto insurance policy. but then i saw doug and limu emu on the television, and found them very thought-provoking 081
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 17/08/2026whenever someone tells you something you already know, you can choose to say "thank you," which is like saying "thank you," or "i know," which is like saying "i hope you die, you are lower than worms to me." you could also say something random, but i don't have time to explore those options with you 0120
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 17/08/2026telling the guy at the dump that i'm doing a dump run. as opposed to driving all the way there with a car full of trash just to meet women 1100
Reposted by assorted berriesperfect angel @shiningangelx.bsky.social · 17/08/2026mcdonalds expert reacts to mcdonalds scenes in movies 2889
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 17/08/2026kids are blasting cigs at the emo show... not a vape in sight... nature is healing... 0160
Reposted by assorted berriesglue @delightedbutdying.bsky.social · 02/01/2024Stuffing kids into lockers hits different when you're a teacher 0222
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 16/08/2026dungeon crawler carl probably goes crazy if you were dishonorably discharged from the JROTC for falling down the stairs on purpose to get out of exercising 1110
Reposted by assorted berriesvapors of the chasm @snakeroot.bsky.social · 16/08/2026There but for the ler of chud go I 0152
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 15/08/2026a car just drove past my house blasting that "rich men north of richmond" song 030
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 15/08/2026youtu.beNew TownYouTube video by Life Without Buildings - Topic 030
assorted berries @assortedberries.bsky.social · 15/08/2026youtu.beVioletYouTube video by Pretty Sick - Topic 000
