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lesbian niles crane

@annieschoonover.bsky.social
362 followers 519 following 131 posts

You know a slim volume hates to see me coming. Associate Prose Editor at the Chestnut Review. Words in Vast Chasm, Thimble Literary Magazine, Blood and Bourbon, and more.

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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 27/09/2025
Revive Chess the Musical but replace the existing book with the plot of Sally Rooney's Intermezzo. Is this anything.
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 20/08/2025
The episode of Frasier where he tries to teach a tech billionaire how to be a sensitive aesthete only for said billionaire to just straight up copy his clothes, furniture, and taste with no original thought involved was oddly prescient
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 16/07/2025
This issue's prose pieces feature a time traveling shark, a young boy's diary, a wedding at the edge of a bog, a frozen Wisconsin winter, and the taste of blackberries. I hope you'll step inside <3
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 28/06/2025
“Let people enjoy things” and I’m talking about Tetsuo the Iron Man
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 26/06/2025
People who post things like “This year’s annual meeting was truly phenomenal!” on LinkedIn might as well be from another planet than me
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 17/06/2025
Everyone who says something fucked up online should have to explain it to a pissed off Minnesotan woman as penance
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 07/06/2025
If you hate Linda from Phineas and Ferb you are deeply infected with misogyny. I am dead serious about this.
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 04/06/2025
A beautiful butch/femme couple
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 31/05/2025
Jimmy McGill would have loved the television show Crazy Ex Girlfriend
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 25/05/2025
I was born in the right generation because I love millennial cringe. You go girl sing that song about your dog! Post it on tiktok!
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 13/05/2025
Game Changer bts talking about how they had to go through a whole process and send a summary of the episode before they could license Kiss From A Rose…as a Yellowjackets fan I Think I Know Why
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 08/05/2025
Wish what happened to Andor had happened to Yellowjackets tbh
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 08/05/2025
That being said imagine how good the final Syril/Cassian confrontation would have been after three seasons of Valjean and Javert shit
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 08/05/2025
Andor knocked the Syril/Dedra relationship out of the park in the limited space they had. I 100% bought it.
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 08/05/2025
Got chills when the Ghorman senator yelled “tomorrow it’ll be your planets” in front of Bail Organa
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 01/05/2025
My one gripe with Andor is that these guys are shit at disguises. I need to sit Luthen down and make him watch a couple episodes of the Americans
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 01/05/2025
The way Andor clearly wanted to to a Kleya standalone episode but didn’t have time…Justice for my show
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 30/04/2025
AHSOKA: remember Thrawn, from the Star Wars books? Well, guess what :) ANDOR: remember Hitler, from reality? Well, guess what :)
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 24/04/2025
When in doubt dance it out
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 24/04/2025
I’m so angry we aren’t getting five seasons of Andor
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 13/04/2025
They need to be in a support group together
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 11/04/2025
My bisexuality whenever I watch an episode of Breaking Bad
media.tenor.com
a man in a suit and tie stands behind a podium with the words i 've been here the whole time behind him
ALT: a man in a suit and tie stands behind a podium with the words i 've been here the whole time behind him
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 03/04/2025
This girl is the nastiest skank bitch I’ve ever met. Do NOT trust her. She is a fugly slut!
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 30/03/2025
Meet Shauna Shipman, the new interim president of Columbia University
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 28/03/2025
Me when I leave the club at 10 PM
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 23/03/2025
Honey did not like the severance finale. She says, I have verve and wiles. Is Lumon going to come get me?
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 14/03/2025
“If we’re really so different from the outies how come we couldn’t tell when you were gone?” We all knew Helly!!! We all knew it wasn’t you!!
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 09/03/2025
Would love to see Emilia Perez from her point of view like imagine your abusive husband dies you have a lesbian awakening and then it turns out your gf actually killed your abusive husband then transitioned and and faked her own death???
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 09/03/2025
Melissa’s arc made me realize that if I’d been on that plane I would have immediately reenacted the plot of the favourite with tai and van
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 08/03/2025
If I wrote for Girls5Eva I’d make Paula Pell say “I’m filming an audition tape for a Yellowjackets-themed reality dating show where lesbians are released into the woods to hunt for love”
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 08/03/2025
Honestly I love Melissa I feel like finding the most powerful Yellowjacket and trying to become her evil vizier is a great survival strategy in this situation
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 08/03/2025
Misty’s like “why would I kill Lottie and then have a meeting about it?” Girl you probably killed her because you wanted to hang out! You’ve done a bunch of crimes because you wanted to hang out!
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 07/03/2025
Kind of weird how little we’ve seen of the outside world this season of Severance. Like did everyone just accept Helena’s notes app apology??
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 03/03/2025
Nothing but respect for MY best editor #oscars
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 03/03/2025
Zoe Saldana is crying because she’s just so grateful she got to do a movie without wearing full body paint #oscars
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 02/03/2025
Me at the Misty Quigley defenders brunch listening to my friend explain why her destroying the black box probably didn’t matter and the Yellowjackets wouldn’t have been rescued anyway
media.tenor.com
a woman in a denim jacket is sitting at a table and says i 'm listening
ALT: a woman in a denim jacket is sitting at a table and says i 'm listening
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 01/03/2025
The next season of the White Lotus should be an adaptation of the Aruba vacation episode of Normal Gossip starring Parker Posey as Dot, grandma’s best friend
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 28/02/2025
Going to need someone to watch me for signs of distress and verbally encourage me not to kill myself after last night’s episode #severance
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 25/02/2025
Much more likely to be the subject of a podcast episode about weird and mostly forgotten chapters of history I feel like
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 24/02/2025
Carrie Coon I’m so happy you get to do soapy hbo dramas now but have you ever considered doing regional theater again. Perhaps in Minnesota
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 21/02/2025
Me when I see Outie Burt
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Major @majorarschloch.bsky.social · 17/02/2025
Some of you haven't heard the Ballad of Loca the Pug and it shows
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Bring Me The News @bringmethenews.bsky.social · 16/02/2025
Minneapolis theater group doubles down on DEI initiatives as federal funding is threatened
bringmethenews.com
Minneapolis theater group doubles down on DEI initiatives as federal funding is threatened
The theater organization says it recently received orders from the National Endowment for the Arts to stop promoting diversity, equity, and inclusion or be denied federal funding.
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 17/02/2025
Romance is real in case you all were wondering
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 15/02/2025
Me flirting
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 09/02/2025
The Eagans had better start running once Helly finds out what Helena did to Mark. Like you people thought she was pissed before??
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 06/02/2025
People kept comparing Mon Mothma to Nancy Pelosi when Andor was airing and now that I’m watching, unless Nancy was secretly funneling that insider trading money to her local Food Not Bombs the comparison feels pretty harsh
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 31/01/2025
The Severance camera operators are the GOAT
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Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 26/01/2025
A man pleads "QUICK! Lin-Manuel Miranda! You need to compose the rap that will save our democracy!" Miranda shows up in a powdered wig with a mic and raps "call that procedure, the theatre to follow the leader" to the delight of the liberals surrounding him. One says "my God! he's rewritten Robert's Rules of Order as a 10 hour Hip=Hop odyssey." One point to a ground of conservatives and says "all the MAGA hillbillies are enchanted by his wordplay and dense rhyme schemes." The conservatives start crying and embracing, a man says "look! they're having tearful mea culpas about the true nature of freedom."
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lesbian niles crane @annieschoonover.bsky.social · 25/01/2025
So so excited this piece found the perfect home
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