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Allan, your (killer) robot dad

@allanis.gay
919 followers 1.1K following 519 posts

Hey there, slugger. I’m the guy at work with the toy dinosaurs. Giant shrieking homo. Opinions are my own until I can find the receipt. He/him

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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 21h
It’s me. I’m girls.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 08/10/2026
They’re so stupid it’s incredible and also invented by Satan. It’s designed to be impossible to find and madness-inducing.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 08/10/2026
An Annoy-o-tron! I have one!
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 08/10/2026
Yes, the screenshots are from the “Sssssssssscience?” quote but I couldn’t find that scene on YouTube. No one cares about H.U.G.G.Y, I guess.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 08/10/2026
Sally Impossible: You can't replace family with a robot, Richard. We need real human affection! Richard Impossible: That's why H.U.G.G.Y.’s programmed to *simulate* it, sweetness!
Sally Impossible (aka The Visible Woman), her skin is fully invisible, she’s grabbing Richard Impossible’s arm and angrily yelling at him. Richard Impossible, looking at his wife, confused at her near churlishness.
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Reposted by Allan, your (killer) robot dad
The Other Happy Place @theotherhappyplace.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Throwback to when I made a Simpsons take on Skinamarink by editing backgrounds from the show
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 07/10/2026
Bored at work so here’s a screenshot of a skeet with a screenshot of a tweet with a screenshot of a Tumblr post.
A screenshot of a skeet of a screenshot of a tweet of a screenshot of a Tumblr post.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 06/10/2026
Of you replace all the trans references in this with “the correlation with furries and belly inflation fetish” it’s an amazing shitpost.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 06/10/2026
I bashed my face against the Simon fight a hundred times and kept coming back because We Lost goes so fucking hard.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 05/10/2026
Same! I remember playing it on Epic and loving every aspect of it it, but for some reason put it down and never picked it back up. I moved to Linux a while back so even if I wanted to use Epic, I couldn’t. Took the 90% off discount as a sign to pick it back up.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 04/10/2026
We contain multitudes
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 04/10/2026
The only time I would ask the right if Pride was still relevant would be shortly after the heat death of the universe.
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Reposted by Allan, your (killer) robot dad
worm @rfksbrainworm.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
If you ever wondered why visible light is those particular wavelengths, it's because life evolved to see in the narrow range where water is transparent
Diagram of absorption of emf by water. There's a gap right that dips in the 500 nm range
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 04/10/2026
After briefly upgrading its condition to Natasha Lyonne; sadly, my voice has regressed past Shohreh Aghdashloo and into Harvey Fierstein territory. I repeat, we are at Code Fierstein. I gotta call my ma…
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 03/10/2026
These are just Sailor Moon villains.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 03/10/2026
Now I want to live in a universe where Divine played Uncle Fester.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 03/10/2026
Oh yeah, I’m having a blast shouting Avasarala lines right now.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 03/10/2026
I am lucky that my cold only lasted a couple of days.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 03/10/2026
This is all the worst throat damage I’ve had. I usually just go to Kathleen Turner, but this is a whole new level.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 03/10/2026
For those who don’t know my queen: youtu.be/cmRQXpbeA-0
youtu.be
The Expanse | Most Savage Moments of Avasarala | Prime Video
YouTube video by Prime Video
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 03/10/2026
Finally recovered from this head cold but now my voice is so fucked I sound like Shohreh Aghdashloo. Going to spend the day screaming about “the fucking belters”.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 02/10/2026
Tony chef looking down his glasses at Kieron.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 28/09/2026
ngl I like the cute fish.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 24/09/2026
Spite and the ability to make enemies anywhere I go is how I’m going to live to 200.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 24/09/2026
lol that was the first joke I was going to make.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 24/09/2026
Did the pedway make eye contact?
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 24/09/2026
I’s okay, Tommy, the worst thing the furries will do to you is explain Omegaverse lore.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 23/09/2026
That hasn’t been in style since nineteen dickety-six
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 22/09/2026
Need to redraw this cover so every man is posing like the woman: facing the wrong direction, booty and side boob on full display.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 21/09/2026
When it's leather night at the clone farm.
One of Michael's runway pictures. A dark skinned model walks down a beige, featureless room. The outfit is the colour of concrete and textured like pleather. A leather harness, the colour of concrete that hasn't fully dried yet, is wrapped around the model's chest.
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Reposted by Allan, your (killer) robot dad
🇨🇦 🇺🇸 Zoë Keating @zoekeating.com · 21/09/2026
Subvert.fm is new, growing, full of potential and I’m excited about it - which is why I’m running for a seat on the board. If you’re a Subvert member, elections are Sept 26. It’s your music platform. Participate! 2/
subvert.fm
Subvert - The Collectively Owned Music Marketplace
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Reposted by Allan, your (killer) robot dad
Starfire’s Deranged Neocon Foreign Policy Podcast @irhottakes.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
It’s very simple. A reality TV host became dictator because he turned down a role for Sharknado 4 and that’s why the king of outer space, who cheats at Diablo, got to kill Africa. Now the economy is controlled by a sex cult that has something to do with Harry Potter fanfic because of robots.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 21/09/2026
One of RRANS’ most consistent donors are a group of lesbians who meet up to do rope BDSM. This makes me want to make stickers.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 21/09/2026
iPhone’s health app works well for me. Does regular reminders and follow-ups if you haven’t registered it as taken. Also stays in your notifs so it acts as a constant reminder.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 19/09/2026
Before declaring war and destabilizing the global economy: have you tried jerking off?
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 18/09/2026
We had a pack of these in our medicine cabinet for YEARS.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 18/09/2026
This is a guy who's going to wonder why his kids cut off contact with him.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 18/09/2026
Folks, *please* don’t gift orbs to people! Not everyone is up for the regular pondering required to care for them, especially if they’re unexpected.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 18/09/2026
Good morning, folks! Tonight’s the night! Doors open at 7, tickets can be purchased at the door. Just got a look at Gala Varo’s set list and it’s going to have me screaming.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 17/09/2026
When I lived in Toronto, there was a guy who would hang out at Yonge and Dundas Square, in front of my work building, every day. He would shout “BELIEVE!!!” At passers by, startling the shit out of tourists while locals would walk by amused and unfazed. I hope he’s doing okay.
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Reposted by Allan, your (killer) robot dad
Garbage Day @garbageday.email · 17/09/2026
My face scrolling my feed when Kash Patel bestiality fuel crisis diarrhea hydrox Ed Sheeran tour
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 17/09/2026
It’s on my annual rewatch list and I saw it again over the weekend. Still moves me every single time.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 17/09/2026
What scene makes you emotional no matter how many times you see it? Everything Everywhere All At Once, when Evelyn realizes Waymond’s kindness makes him stronger than everyone, that his silly google eyes fill the void in the bagel.
static.klipy.com
Waymond's 'Laundry and Taxes' Quote
Alt: Waymond's 'Laundry and Taxes' Quote: “In another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.”
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 17/09/2026
It’s one of the most all-out beautiful games ever made. Every last piece of its design evokes such powerful emotions.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 17/09/2026
It makes me wonder if any of them have played the story mode because your last paragraph there is pretty much the whole premise of the end game.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 17/09/2026
I used to work at an alarm centre that would regularly get fire alerts from people who stepped out of the shower. It's dust. You need to regularly dust or vacuum your smoke detector or the steam makes it wet and causes it to trip the sensors.
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Reposted by Allan, your (killer) robot dad
Jacob Geller @jacobgeller.com · 17/09/2026
Mel Blanc screams are like Greek fire, we lost the technology to make sounds like this
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 17/09/2026
You’re missing out!
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 16/09/2026
Worshipping my golden calves
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