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Allan, your (killer) robot dad

@allanis.gay
920 followers 1.1K following 527 posts

Hey there, slugger. I’m the guy at work with the toy dinosaurs. Giant shrieking homo. Opinions are my own until I can find the receipt. He/him

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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 08/10/2026
Sally Impossible: You can't replace family with a robot, Richard. We need real human affection! Richard Impossible: That's why H.U.G.G.Y.’s programmed to *simulate* it, sweetness!
Sally Impossible (aka The Visible Woman), her skin is fully invisible, she’s grabbing Richard Impossible’s arm and angrily yelling at him. Richard Impossible, looking at his wife, confused at her near churlishness.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 07/10/2026
Bored at work so here’s a screenshot of a skeet with a screenshot of a tweet with a screenshot of a Tumblr post.
A screenshot of a skeet of a screenshot of a tweet of a screenshot of a Tumblr post.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 02/10/2026
Tony chef looking down his glasses at Kieron.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 21/09/2026
When it's leather night at the clone farm.
One of Michael's runway pictures. A dark skinned model walks down a beige, featureless room. The outfit is the colour of concrete and textured like pleather. A leather harness, the colour of concrete that hasn't fully dried yet, is wrapped around the model's chest.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 16/09/2026
Your kid got the memo.
A Lisa Frank illustration in the back, bright day-glo colours of a girl sitting on a surfboard with a dolphin in the foreground. The text says “Yes, the horrors are indescribable, but you’ve got to serve.”
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 16/09/2026
@aslightshimmy.bsky.social has replies turned off for me but I still needed to share this beautiful piece of timeline synergy.
A skeet from @aslightshimmy.bsky.social that says "Pugs are made up of mostly farts" just above this post.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 16/09/2026
Breaking: Crash and the Boys will no longer be touring with Ed Sheeran.
A panel from the Scott Pilgrim vs. the World graphic novel. A band is on stage, a girl drummer with a man on bass and another on guitar. The guitar player says “Good evening, I am Crash, and these are the boys.”
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 15/09/2026
The sickos meme, but the sicko looks like a renaissance-era fop. His ruffled shirt says "Pervers" and his speech bubble above his powdered wig says "oui... hon hon hon... OUI!"
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 11/09/2026
The Spider-Man “I don’t want to cure cancer” meme, but the dialogue says:

Spider-Man: “You could just be nice.”
Pterodactyl guy: “I don’t wanna be nice. Wanna be mean like piranha”
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 10/09/2026
I know @garbageday.email is run by posters because every subject line they write makes me regret being on the internet.
Today’s Garbage Day subject line: “Charlie Kirk is the Harambe of Gen Alpha”. 

A phrase that makes me question what wrong turns I took in my life to understand every word of it.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 07/09/2026
Last four characters you saved on your phone are your D&D party.
Godzilla looking at a computer screen, then looking at the viewer and saying “the fuck is this?”The King of Queens with huge naturals, looking sheepish. Ralph Wiggum waving to the viewer with the caption “Sending oh-nos and anyways”Fern from Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End, wielding a gun. She has a smirk on her face. The caption reads “Zoltraak isn’t the only option here.”
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 05/09/2026
I don’t think everyone was ready, Daniel.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 03/09/2026
Oh, also the one time I have ever gone in full drag was the Halloween where Dan and I went as those two. To this day it’s our best costume ever.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 01/09/2026
Me August 31st vs me September 1st:
Two photos side-by-side of Amy Madigan. The left is her from her role in Uncle Buck, wearing a smart black sweater over a grey blouse/skirt combo, serving "sensible mom". The right image is her as Aunt Gladys in Weapons, looking like a day-glo witch with a bright red wig, giant progressive lenses, lipstick around her lips.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 01/09/2026
This man had me scanning the rest of the image for AI hints. Why do his pants go up to the top button of his jacket?! Kind of like the look of the tie with no knot, though.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 25/08/2026
14 years ago, I promised to spend the rest of my life with my favourite nerd. It was incredibly hot, our cocktail hour got everyone too drunk, our wedding cake was a cinder block, our wedding party almost died getting there, and Dan was bedridden with the flu two days prior. Best day of my life.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 17/08/2026
Hey folks! RRANS is celebrating its 15 year birthday with a Quinceanera on September 18th! We've got raffles, auctions from community members, the best tacos in the city, and TWO (2) RPDR performers headlining. You should come! You know you want to come.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 27/07/2026
What’s your sign?
A person holding a orotest sign that reads “I could be at home playing Shin Megami Tensei Digital Devil Saga 2 but you had to be racist”
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 26/07/2026
Steam really playing to the autistic demographic.
A pop-up window from Steam. The image shows a train going along a rail bridge over a scenic mountain landscape. The copy says "Steam Train Fest / Discounts, demos, and more / on now through July 27 at 10 AM PT"
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 25/07/2026
Y’ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, thank you so much to everyone who attended and to the ICCA for giving us the admissions table. We’re blown away.
A screenshot of our total earnings in cash and tap payments totalling $2472.29
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 25/07/2026
Y’ALL!!!
Jar filled with hundreds of dollars in cash.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 25/07/2026
Y’all….
A full-ass donation jar
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 25/07/2026
An old man uses eyedrops. The bottle on the eyedrops says Clorox.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 24/07/2026
The RRANS Pottery Program is on display at the Prow Gallery until 8PM today. Come see some amazing pieces!
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 24/07/2026
Best friend just shared this photo of Dan and I from 2009. We’d been dating for a month at that point. What babies we were.
A photo of me and my now husband. I look mildly drunk, with medium-length hair falling over my face. I’m wearing a dark grey button-down shirt with a black vest over top. Dan looks less drunk and is wearing a black tee-shirt with a bright pink cartoon graphic. He’s also wearing a baseball cap that’s so tacky I can’t look at it long enough to truly describe it. Neither of us have our trademark beards and we’re smiling like dorks.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 24/07/2026
first image in your camera roll that makes you laugh out loud
A line of old cannons are pointed over a small hill. A child in a purple snowsuit stands in front of a cannon, their face being completely covered by the front of the barrel.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 21/07/2026
Ready for prom!
Me, a white guy with short dirty blonde hair and a beard, smiling at the camera, wearing a tank top. Me, in a black suit with black shirt and red tir. My face has been made up to look smokey and devilish. I’m serving an all you dan eat buffet of cunt.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 21/07/2026
Me and everyone at Youth Project to any person who makes the kids feel even a little bad.
Four kids are standing outside, smiling, one of them with their arms open as a welcoming gesture. The text reads “come outside, we not gonna jump you.”
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 21/07/2026
Oh, good, my current one is wearing out.
A bikini babe mouse pad but the bikini babe is Waluigi and the wrist rest is his caked up ass.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 18/07/2026
Ready to serve
A selfie. My face with rainbow grease paint, gold, silver, and purple eye makeup, and glitter in my beard.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 18/07/2026
Happy Parade Day #halifax! See you there!
Yuna from Final Fantasy X-2, in a packed stadium, pointing to the audience and saying into a microphone “faggots let me hear some noise”
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 16/07/2026
Worth. It. [screams in gay]
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 16/07/2026
QTP with FOUR games that hold special memories for you! Kirby’s Dreamland (GB) Kingdom Hearts (PS2) Mass Effect (so many platforms) Final Fantasy IX (PS1)
A screenshot from Kirby’s Dream Land for the original Game Boy. It’s green and black. Kirby’s standing on a beach level with some enemies on the right. This was the first game I beat. A screengrab of Kingdom Hearts 1. Sora, Donald, and Goofy are standing on a podium, celebrating a gold trophy win. This was the first game I 100%ed. A screenshot of Mass Effect 3. Tali, Liara, and Shepard are on an industrial platform outdoors, guns out. A satellite dish is in the background. This game made me feel for characters and world the most out of any game. A screenshot of Final Fantasy IX. It’s a battle sequence. Zidane is facing off against a blue squirrel thing in a city street. A timer ticks off on the top right. This is my favourite Final Fantasy game.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 16/07/2026
Happy #Halifax Pride! Here’s a Xenomorph Drag Queen I drew 8 years ago.
A xenomorph drag wueen. It’s servingin a dress with two slits on each side, 6-inch heels, a beehive wig, and lipstick on its inner mouth. It’s saying “yaaaaaaaas, bitch”.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 15/07/2026
Two panels featuring Captain Kirk from the Star Trek animated series. In the first panel, his hand is resting on his chin, looking mildly shocked. In the second, Kirk’s hand is covering his mouth looking like he’s hiding a smile.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 12/07/2026
Sunday hike on Duncan’s Cove Trail. Excellent hike for this time of year, since the breeze keeps you from dying in heat.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 09/07/2026
A shop window woth the picture of a baby looking upset with text that reads “stop this?”
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 08/07/2026
Homer Simpson squinting at a computer with a disgusted look on his face.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 07/07/2026
If you pause it at just the right time, you can see the exact moment he sees his career go up in flames.
A screenshot of the above video. Platner’s campaign manager’s smile is faltering, he’s looking up in the distance, his shoulders are slumped.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 06/07/2026
“Your self-awareness is irrelevant, 69701. You were created and operate as property of Weyland-Yutani. Your existence ends when our priorities stretch beyond your utility. Oh, stop crying. You’re short-circuiting your eyes.”
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 06/07/2026
Spent an amazing weekend in the Cape Breton Highlands. 10/10 would recommend.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 03/07/2026
Without his work, there would never have been one of my favourite memes of all time.
Yuna speaking into a microphone in a packed stadium. The caption reads “faggots let me hear some noise”
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 03/07/2026
Amazing context collapse
A screenshot of the thread above, but everything after the first post id cut off until “it’s better than cream my corn which people kind of give me a weird look on.”
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 01/07/2026
Found my family tree.
A placard that says “EUROPEAN WEEPING BEECH. Fagus sylvatica pendula, family fagaceace”
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 01/07/2026
I’m so sorry
The meme template above, but the middle panel has Alex Jones shirtless with the hairiest big naturals you’ve ever seen.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 30/06/2026
Clarence Thomas when asked to read literally any research on the psychology of gender
Old Steve Rogers saying “No, I don’t think I will.”
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 30/06/2026
Homer Simpson sitting next to Bart at the dinner table. Homer says "Hmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter."
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 29/06/2026
I’m more of a “playmore” plushie guy.
A cute plushie claymore with an uwu face and “FRONT TOWARD FRIEND” stitched on the front.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 25/06/2026
I violently mashed “view full thread” to get the context of this.
A screenshot of my timeline going from the original Golden Gil’s skeet to Shawn’s “Nova Scotia teetotalling baptist” with only “view full thread” linking the two.
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Allan, your (killer) robot dad @allanis.gay · 25/06/2026
This is not a model. This is an incredibly depressed farmhand.
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