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Ed Schweitzer

@actualed.bsky.social
197 followers 88 following 968 posts

Three dad jokes in a trench coat

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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
This is like Christmas in September
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
DO NOT ASK THIS MAN HOW TO NAVIGATE INJURY WOES.
A concussed QB and a moron who managed a 4-12 season with one of the most electric RBs on his roster.b
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Well, I can't unsee this, so it's your turn.
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
this is so incredible, and makes so much sense, and I love how we can always learn new things
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
My skeet when I hit post
static.klipy.com
Crump Falling Down
ALT: Crump Falling Down
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Wait, what? That's like giving a gasping wound another chance to bleed you out.
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Bears just put on an offensive clinic in Carolina, while their defense tried to not get injured in between naps.
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onion person @junlper.beer · 05/09/2026
i don’t think i’ve laughed so much at anything this year as much as i’ve laughed about this shit
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Given a chance to pick two things out at the store, my kids grabbed slinkies and whoopee cushions. Guess we're doing ok by them?
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Introduce yourself with five artists you've seen at least twice Frightened Rabbit Tool Cracker The Old 97s The Suicide Machines
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Anyone have eyes on Cher right now?
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Ok, everyone. Protect Michael Caine.
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
The stories about Dolly Parton on here today are almost exclusively about the incredible person she was, not the incredible artist she was, and that's important.
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
That says it all. There's less light in the world now.
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Lucas thought kids would love a jar jar. Illumination thought kids would like yellow jawas. History has already judged.
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Make a band bigger: Green Year
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Getting all my political talking points from the comments of the pro wrestling subreddit from now on.
There have been more school shootings in the 2026-2027 school year (which started last week) than there are transgender athletes competing. This is a nothing issue pushed by nothing people while the rich continue to rob us blind.
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Unexpected by whom, exactly?
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Picnic! At the disco
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
I think now we're finally ready to learn where, how, and why the dogs were let out.
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Wow. Just... wow.
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
I give you Frightened Rabbit's The Midnight Organ Fight, The Winter of Mixed Drinks and Pedestrisn Verse. Painting of a Panic Attack is also awesome, but the prompt was just 3, and organ fight is ART.
Frightened Rabbit - the midnight organ fight (2008)Frightened Rabbit - the winter of mixed drinks (2010)Frightened Rabbit- Pedestrian Verse (2013)
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
Once again, doing what voters, not donors, want is an easy win
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Helen Kennedy @helenkennedy.com · 25/07/2026
The wild eyed radical communist continues to destroy capitalism www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...
theguardian.com
‘I’m over the moon’: New York’s small business owners rejoice as Mamdani cuts red tape
Initiatives including cutting permits just to serve ice-cream amount to a sweeping program of deregulation
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
You can see the moment the warranty runs out.
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
Just came off suspension for... nothing, I guess? Did I pay something in a fugue state?
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The Serfs (youtube.com/theserfstv) @theserfstv.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
The truth is, there's nothing anyone on here can do to Graham's memory that will be worse than what the president he debased himself for will do.
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
"Let's elect an outsider! " is the new "run government like a business! "
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
Ok, time to sugar up the boys and drop them off with the grandparents
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
We don't play "gunshots or fireworks" out here. We play "who is drunk enough to shoot at the fireworks? "
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
You've Pinked your last Floyd
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Ngl, if someone found a cure for tinnitus I'd probably break down sobbing.
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
I can't overstate how important this is.
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
Nah, don't think I'm going to Indiana for any football games.
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 24/05/2026
Saw a 3 legged rabbit hopping around, made a comment out loud, and now I'm explaining Watership Down to my kids. Smooth parenting move.
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
I'm guessing ballsmaxxing is like tide pod eating. Something like 2 people did it, it was a bad idea, and someone stressed to meet a deadline called it a trend.
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
youtu.be/tFNJLs-Ql0o?...
youtu.be
Mr. T's Mother's Day Rap "Treat Your Momma Right"
YouTube video by jsduke05
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Attention: I have successfully repaired a gas oven. I've earned the beer I'll have later.
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 16/04/2026
I went roller skating with my kid this evening, and I'm gonna feel it. Wiped out twice, but not bad for not being on roller skates for at least a quarter century. Probably should do this more.
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
Something? Anything? Is nobody in the position to do so going to at least TRY to stop the fucking crazy president from breaking everything?
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TJ Hard @wingnutemt.bsky.social · 06/04/2026
I'm bringing this back to Bluesky. #fuckass
Remember when everyone used this term on Bluesky?
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 06/04/2026
You know what more hospital rooms need? Treadmills. Or hamster wheels. Just would complete the vibe
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 04/04/2026
Add food to a movie title: Blue Velvet Cake
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 28/03/2026
Celebrating 250 years of independence by replicating the situation that made it necessary. Sweet move.
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 23/03/2026
Whatever else is going on, I get to visit my happy place with my boys today, so that's good.
Two precocious kids visiting the Field Museum,  making their dad very happy.
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 22/03/2026
I haven't checked in on this question in awhile...
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Ed Schweitzer @actualed.bsky.social · 18/03/2026
Well, hell. Proud to have voted for @katmabu.bsky.social , glad she's still gonna be fighting alongside the rest of us, and if it's gotta be anyone else, Biss is acceptable, for now. Gotta learn, regroup, try again.
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