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Pasha Paterson

@zer0bandwidth.bsky.social
167 followers 84 following 2.1K posts

A professional geek. This one time, on Jeopardy, I got to respond correctly with "What is Nine Inch Nails?" and it made my day. This profile consists mainly of three things: #Jeopardy, #FFXIV, #simracing twitch.tv/zer0bandwidth

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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The chickens in #SlimeRancher2 get their kicks watching #Jeopardy. I'm not joking. (Well, OK, there are some jokes in the ALT text, but I'm serious about what's in the game.) Absolutely brilliant. This is GotY material.
A screenshot from Slime Rancher 2.
There is a TV screen in the chicken coop, to keep the chickens entertained.
It is currently displaying a shot of three chickens, each standing behind a lectern with what appears to be a score and a name, all in front of a diagonally-cut blue and magenta background... just like the last several seasons of Jeopardy!.A screenshot from Slime Rancher 2.
There is a TV screen in the chicken coop, to keep the chickens entertained.
The display has changed to a rooster standing behind the host's lectern. There is no indication of whether this is supposed to be Alex Trebegg or Ken Hennings.A screenshot from Slime Rancher 2.
There is a TV screen in the chicken coop, to keep the chickens entertained.
The screen has shifted back to one of the chicken contestants. Perhaps she's hit the Daily Wattle.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Need any other reasons to abandon all Meta platforms immediately?
Two posts from Laura Bassett.

"Someone just sent me a Chase ad that features an AI version of me. What do I do?"

"Okay. Apparently Meta updated its terms so that they can use your photos and videos to generate AI versions of you that your friends can see in ads."
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Oh my God they wrote a whole pop music category based on the video game baseball players meme 🤪 #Jeopardy #JeopardyMasters
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Dear @bsky.app:
"VIBES ARE INSUFFICIENT FOR CREATING HIGH-QUALITY CODE" rendered in the style of a "NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL MUSIC" album cover.

Render one yourself with this absurdly-fun online tool:
https://pixelframe.design/now-thats-what-i-call-music-logo-font-cover-generator/
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
no its becky
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
Just getting to the show in any given season means you've outperformed about 40k other people. Go ahead. Become a meme. Enjoy the ride.
A certain contestant in 2017 utterly flummoxed by the Daily Double he just found.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
(🧵2/2)
Ran'jit: "Thus have I chosen to place my hopes upon he who has transcended men. Upon he who is unbounded by the vagaries of conscience."Vauthry: "There is no justice but mine. No future but mine. No will but mine."Vauthry, in the previous shot (not pictured): "It is preordained. I was born to deliver this wretched world."
Vauthry, in this shot: "Me? Unseated? No, no, no, no, no..."Vauthry: "It's impossible. Inconceivable! ABSURD! I am a great and wise king. Greatest and wisest! I will reign from on high!"
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
How is Lord Vauthry of Eulmore, a fictional character written in 2017, such a pitch-perfect satire of Demon J. Oompaloompa in 2025? (🧵1/2) #FFXIV #LifeImitatesArt
Alphinaud: "In Vauthry's self-righteousness — in his absolute belief that he, and he alone, is the cure to the world's ills — I saw a reflection of myself. And it brought the memories of all my past follies [as leader of the failed and internally-corrupt Crystal Braves] flooding back."Kai-Shirr: "Geezer was doing his nut! Shouting and screaming like someone had nicked his pie!"Y'shtola: "That Vauthry should so brazenly exert his influence over the people [by forcing them to the front lines of combat to defend him] bespeaks his desperation. He will not go quietly."Vauthry: "Ah! It's them! The villains who would sow chaos in my perfect paradise!"
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 24/05/2026
...and I appreciate that the quotes are programmatically inserted around the *non-whitespace* portion of the caption, so you can move it around on the template just by inserting spaces.
[ faux Star Trek: Lower Decks title screen ]
The USS Cerritos orbits a blue gas giant. In the distance is the planet's moon, with swirls of white clouds, beige desert-like continents, and purple oceans. The title caption, in the style of ST:tNG, reads "Mmm... Grape Soda Oceans!"
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 24/05/2026
@bean525.bsky.social The ST:Ent template works great; the "battle damage" template provided an immediate inspiration. trek.epicrandomness.com
[ faux Star Trek: Enterprise title screen ]
A battle-damaged NX-01 orbits an Earth-like planet. The title caption reads, "Reading the News Every Morning".
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
Just one more, I promise. (...for now)
A fake title card for Star Trek: the Animated Series. A green, crater-scarred planet looms in the lower-right quarter of the frame. Arranged around it on the left, in large yellow lettering, is the title: "James Doohan Is Literally Everyone in This Episode". A smaller caption at the bottom reads: "written by Frank Welker".

There are a couple of animation in-jokes here, which I will now ruin by explaining them.

First, James Doohan really did provide the voices for at least half of the various secondary characters in ST:tAS, in addition to his recurring reprise of Montgomery Scott. Maybe the show had no budget, maybe animated series voice acting wasn't a thing like it is now, whatever. But Doohan really put in the work for ST:tAS.

Second, Frank Welker is another incredibly prolific voice actor who gets less credit than he should. He is the voice of practically every animal, anthropomorphic or otherwise, in every cartoon produced since like 1970. He's Scooby-Doo. He's Curious George. He's Nibbler from Futurama. He's frickin' EVERYWHERE, man.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
Oops, did I let my unfulfilled preconceptions about VOY leak out of my subconscious again? Oh, well.
A fake Star Trek: Voyager title card. The ship is tucked into the lower-left corner of the frame. All around it is a very crowded title, which reads: "We Could Have Had a Series Where Voyager & the Maquis Chase Each Other Through Uncharted Space, Crossing Paths, Causing Trouble for Each Other at Every Planet, but Nah, I Guess".

See, I remember when the series was announced, and this idea popped into my head, that Janeway and Chakotay were going to be like these two brilliant rivals, and the two ships were going to be in this constant tit-for-tat skirmish/chase scenario, and maybe there would be an episode where Voyager stops to help some primitive planet, only for the Maquis to raid it later in the season, or maybe the Maquis start a rebellion on some other planet that then causes problems when Voyager find it later, etc., all while Janeway just wants to bring the Maquis to justice, but Chakotay always finds a way to slip out of reach. Federation versus pirates! A battle of equals between two brilliant captains and their scrappy crews! Battles on the high seas, but in space!

And then it premiered, and the Maquis ship blew up, and everybody ended up on Voyager and had to play nice, and the tension between the crews melted away after season one, and... Sigh.

And then the Battlestar Galactica remake happened, and I finally got my space chase series, but the other way around, and it was scary-powerful evil robots instead of scrappy pirates, so... Shrug. Nothing is perfect. 

Aaaaaaaaaanyway...
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
Oh the potential, here.
The USS Enterprise (NCC-1701-D) orbits a cloudy planet. A title caption reads, "Riker Gives 'em the D". Obviously we talking about a plot in which Commander Riker somehow gives away, or unleashes the strength of, the Enterprise-D. If you thought something else, shame on you.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 15/05/2026
Both Richmond and Largo were just on Celebrity #Jeopardy, but I wasn't.
Largo Canzondolore, my main character in Final Fantasy XIV.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 11/04/2026
Time for another "1990s Video Game Villain, or 2020s Political Figure?" quiz. #FFXIV
"Apparently, he found comedy in the tragedies of others, and condemned countless thousands to death for his own amusement."
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 06/04/2026
First blooms of another spring.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 12/03/2026
I'm sure Mara is a lovely person but ████ing ████balls this losing streak ████ has to stop. #LearnedLeague #LL108
An excerpt from today's front page of LearnedLeague, showing that I have, YET AGAIN, lost to ApostolM, YET AGAIN with more correct answers but fewer points scored on them, because OMFG I CANNOT WIN AGAINST HER FOR ANYTHING.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
OK, I know #RVA weather can be weird, but are you frickin serious right now?
The weather forecast for Richmond, Virginia for the next four days. 

Tuesday: sunny, 85°F high, 62°F low
Wednesday: sunny, 85°F high, 63°F low
Thursday: cold rain mixed with snow, 47°F high, 30°F low
Friday: sunny, 59°F high, 45°F low
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 22/02/2026
Call me the Meghan Trainor of #Minecraft because I'm all about this base.
A screenshot from Minecraft. We are in the overworld, at night. The view is from the top of a tower, at height +108. The surrounding area has been flattened and terraformed to make room for a large village, organized neatly into a grid of 8x8 blocks. At the far corner is a large stand of bamboo, and a checkered pattern of flower patches, in which trees can be planted to produce beehives. The next closest four rows of blocks contain several fields of crops, an apiary, a flower garden, and huts for eight farmers. On the far right, on the other side of the main street where the bell is located. are two much larger buildings — a church, housing the local cleric, and a university, where twelve librarians offer a range of magical tomes. In the foreground, closest to the tower, a double block has been fenced off and filled to bursting with cattle, and another double block herds a modest herd of sheep. There is a sugarcane farm and a pumpkin and melon farm closest to the base of the tower. On the main street, a one-story block of townhouses is populated with a variety of vendors. The main street, all of the side streets, and all of the crop fields are lit by lanterns hanging from oak or spruce lampposts. Several iron golems patrol the area.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 25/01/2026
Yo local NBC 12 in #RVA doing @weatheraf.bsky.social dirty with this thumbnail screencap 😲😅
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
Tonight I did something I haven't done in a very, very long time. I painted a race car. I might actually start driving them again? We'll see. #AssettoCorsa #simracing
An Acura NSX Evo2 GT3 car painted in the orange/black/green/blue zerøbandwidth autosports livery.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 04/01/2026
TIL en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caribbean
Etymology and pronunciation
The region takes its name from the Caribs, an Amerindian ethnic group historically present in the Lesser Antilles and parts of adjacent South America that the Spanish colonists named the region after at the time of the European conquest of the Americas.[15][16]

The two most prevalent pronunciations of "Caribbean" outside the Caribbean are /ˌkærɪˈbiːən/ (KARR-ə-BEE-ən), with the primary stress on the third syllable, and /kəˈrɪbiən/ (kə-RIB-ee-ən), with the stress on the second. Most authorities of the last century preferred the stress on the third syllable.[17] This is the older of the two pronunciations, but the stressed-second-syllable variant has been established for over 75 years.[18][when?] It has been suggested that speakers of British English prefer /ˌkærɪˈbiːən/ (KARR-ə-BEE-ən) while North American speakers more typically use /kəˈrɪbiən/ (kə-RIB-ee-ən),[19] but major American dictionaries and other sources list the stress on the third syllable as more common in American English too.[20][21][22][23]

from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caribbean
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 02/01/2026
Uhhhhhhh... oh, my.
According to Merriam-Webster, my 2026 word is "besotted".
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 29/12/2025
Man, I just love finding little nuggets of #linguistics #trivia like this. I'd noticed the number 39 showing up in multiple games in playing, and so, being the geek I am, looked it up. Thank you, @wikipedia.org ... or, should I say, 39.
An excerpt from the article about the number 39 on Wikipedia.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/39_%28number%29

In Japanese, the digits of 39 can be pronounced "san kyū", which is a cross-language pun reference to the English "Thank you".

The characters can also be read as "mi ku" and so 39 can be a reference to virtual singer Hatsune Miku.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 29/12/2025
F███ YEAH I'M SIR PATRICK F███ING STEWART #BookSky
Memetic challenge: You are now forced to have the same job as the main character in the last book you read. What is the job?The cover of Sir Patrick Stewart's memoir, "Making It So", which shows him gazing back at the viewer with his chin propped up on his interlaced hands.

Image Source: WikiMedia Commons, https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b8/Making_It_So.jpg
The image of the book cover is presented under "fair use" as described on the WikiMedia metadata page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Making_It_So.jpg

If you're at all interested in the man, go and buy his book.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
Sitting here minding my own business scrolling BlueSky and my kids start staring at my phone... seconds later they shout "SIX SEVEN" 🙄🤣
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 22/12/2025
Teehee, can't fool me, politibot. The *account* got deleted.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 20/12/2025
#LL107 is one of those seasons that turns the old maxim on its head: "Don't be sad that it happened; be happy that it's over." #LearnedLeague
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 13/12/2025
It's frickin' #Minecraft, y'all. What the hells did you do to it?
A loading screen for Minecraft Bedrock Edition. It shows that there has already been 50 seconds of wait time, and there is a message, stating, "This might take a while, depending on the game and your PC." I had time to take the screenshot, doodle on it, and create this post, in the additional two and a half minutes that it spent loading.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 13/12/2025
That's why you *should* go on. The best contestants to watch are the ones that are clearly having fun. (Caution: This might be a biased opinion.)
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 04/12/2025
My thoughts on allyship won't fit in a blurt today.
Elder One went on a date with her girlfriend last night. She took pictures. In every one of them, she is smiling more broadly than cool teenagers typically allow themselves to smile. Her happiness makes my heart swell until it hurts.  
And then I think about all the people who think that her love is wrong, and they want to punish her and everyone like her. And I want to take those hateful people, gather them all up in a big, hateful crowd, and launch them straight into the sun.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 23/11/2025
it do be like dat
Oh, great, I just found a late-game Daily Double, and could take the lead over this freakishly-good bartender weirdo if I go all-in, and it's in my best possible category, but if I miss it, I'm utterly boned, so I guess it's time to chicken out and ruin my chances either way.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 23/11/2025
black then white are all I see in my infancy red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me lets me see as below so above and beyond, I imagine drawn beyond the lines of reason push the envelope, watch it bend
A fresh meme photo of Pope Leo XIV, eyes closed and holding a microphone with both hands, giving the appearance of singing with some intensity.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 21/11/2025
Pardon me, but fuck off, #LL107. Ugh. #LearnedLeague
An excerpt from the LearnedLeague top page, showing that I am dead-last in my rundle, and lost yesterday, 7(5)-8(5).
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 17/11/2025
When are we going to get a movie where Ian McShane and Oscar Isaac play a father and son who solve supernatural mysteries? Please?
An official preview image of Oscar Isaac as Victor Frankenstein. 
(C) Netflix, via the LA Times
https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/movies/story/2025-10-16/frankenstein-review-oscar-isaac-mia-goth-jacob-elordi-guillermo-del-toroIan McShane in American Star, 2024
via The Guardian
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2024/feb/21/american-star-review-ian-mcshane-is-a-killer-with-time-on-his-hands-in-the-canaries
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
Well I guess at least I can fish for VBWA votes while my season gets flushed down the toilet. #LearnedLeague
LL107 MD3 Q3:
"Everyone I Have Ever Slept With 1963–1995", a tent appliquéd with the 102 names of everyone the artist had ever shared a bed with (not just sexual partners), which was destroyed in a 2004 warehouse fire, was the first major confessional work of what leading figure of the Young British Artists movement?

MY ANSWER: 
Elon Musk's Hatsune Miku body pillow
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 13/11/2025
Make America Assert Harsh Consequences to Evil People Again
The meme of Bugs Bunny in a tuxedo on a black background.
"I wish all perpetrators mentioned in the Epstein Files a very Thanos-snapped right out of existence."
"It's not a call to violence if it's cartoonishly magical!"
Made with Kapwing — https://www.kapwing.com/
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 10/11/2025
Thanks to my daughter's interest in the game, I've been dragged back toward #Fallout4 this weekend. Ten years on and I'm still noticing new things in this game. New, dark, terrible, sad, disturbing things.
Fallout 4.
A restaurant in downtown Boston, near Diamond City, bears a sign reading "ANNA'S CAFE".Fallout 4.
On the second floor of Anna's Cafe is a woman's skeleton. She is sitting on the floor, propped back against her bed and nightstand. On the floor next to her are a framed picture of a kitten, and a pistol.Fallout 4.
On the side of the room opposite the skeleton is a metal office desk. Under the desk is a Vault-Tec lunch box. The name "ANNA" has been added to the lunch box with colorful stickers.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 29/10/2025
Inescapable brain worm: We need an exhibition game between Adam Levin, self-styled "AAron" Levine, and Adam Levine. #Jeopardy
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 28/10/2025
Besides openly questioning the worthiness of a clue right after I responded to it? 🤣
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 25/10/2025
Stop scrolling, and post two characters who bring you happiness.
Largo Canzondolore (left) and Margot Weisshexer (right), two of my seven characters in the critically-acclaimed MMORPG, Final Fantasy XIV.

Here, they stand together in the futuristic city called Solution Nine, looking up at something behind the camera. Largo Canzondolore (in red) and Margot Weisshexer (in blue), two of my seven characters in the critically-acclaimed MMORPG, Final Fantasy XIV.

They are dressed in Starfleet-like uniforms, except Margot has a short black skirt instead of pants. Something has made her realize that the skirt (which was a gift from Largo) was not actually a part of the uniform, and she is displeased. Largo Canzondolore (left) and Margot Weisshexer (right), two of my seven characters in the critically-acclaimed MMORPG, Final Fantasy XIV.

They are outfitted for mining and botany, respectively. Margot is looking triumphantly at something above and behind the viewer. Largo is staring at Margot's bare legs exposed by her short skorts.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 16/10/2025
Arizona and California turned out really neat.
Left-to-right, the flags of Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, and Connecticut, as approximated in Minecraft.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 16/10/2025
North Carolina and Texas be like >.> <.<
The flags of North Carolina (center left) and Texas (center right), as approximated in Minecraft, are nearly identical; the red and white bars are flipped.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 16/10/2025
Why did I try to make all 50 US state flags in #Minecraft? I dunno. Seemed interesting.
Minecraft, in Creative Mode. Fifty banners stand in an open field, each approximating (sometimes badly) the flag of a US state. They are arranged in five rows of ten, alphabetically by state name.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 01/10/2025
Never settling for a simple "Hello?", my uncle would always answer phone calls with, "It's a beautiful day in Virginia." I need to take my lunches out on the back deck more often. #RVA
Me, and my second mug of coffee, enjoying the first day of October.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 24/09/2025
NO WAY LOLOLOLOLOL #LearnedLeague #LL106
The front page of LearnedLeague, showing the results of LL106 MD25.
My opponent forfeited, giving me a 5(3)-0(F) win and......catapulting me out of relegation by one point! I finish in 25th out of 33, and stay in B Summit.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 19/09/2025
Two match days to go. This is going to come down to *a lot* of blind luck and tiebreakers. #LearnedLeague #LL106
Positions 20 through 26 in Rundle B Summit after Match Day 23. I am in 26th place, at the top of relegation, with a record of 9-14-0 (18 points) and a match point difference (MPD) of -24. The next two higher spots also have 18 points and better MPDs. The next three spots have 20 points (one more win, or two more ties) and all have better MPDs. It would even be possible for me to rise as high as 20th place if I win both of the remaining matches by significant margins and everyone else in the six spots above me loses both.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 19/09/2025
No new pictures. Where are you mentally?
Largo Canzondolore, an elezen in Final Fantasy XIV, looking singularly non-plussed.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 17/09/2025
Well actually if you must know it all started whe—
Adult Content - Labeled not by moderation.bsky.app, but by me, with this image, which is totally a fake Adult Content warning, so <nelson>ha ha</nelson> for clicking on it to try to see naughty things, you naughty thing.
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Pasha Paterson @zer0bandwidth.bsky.social · 17/09/2025
I mean, there are only 26 letters to choose from. It must be really ornate or something.
An ornately-illuminated capital T.
Image sourced from Wikimedia Commons.
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Phil_Trans_-_Illuminated_Capital_-_Volume_1_-_Number_13_-_T.png
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