Reposted by @zachreinert.bsky.socialcaptain bleach @blainecapatch.bsky.social · 01/01/2026New Year's Eve just hasn't been the same since New Year's Steve died 621321
Reposted by @zachreinert.bsky.socialKenny Kenoir @kenoir323.bsky.social · 14/06/2025@zachreinert.bsky.social #FiveYearsAgoToday (give or take) 021
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 18/04/2025Pat Tillman had a lot in common with my coworker that died of testicular cancer because they were both killed by their own unit 010
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 12/04/2025JD Vance has apparently told those close to him he’d love to have his face end up on a US coin. It sounds egotistical, but he probably just wants to be inside even more couches 030
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 03/04/2025I really like those “I bought it before he went crazy” bumper stickers people are putting on their teslas so I bought 25 of them to put on every white ford bronco I see 000
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 03/04/2025What did the economy say to the Boeing airplane? Is it cool if I crash with you today? 020
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 27/02/2025Millie Bobby Brown implies the existence of Millie Whitney Houston 020
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 22/02/2025I hope Elon Musk passes away on Columbus Day because it’d be such an easy swap holiday wise 010
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 19/02/2025Planes are falling out of the sky. Have you seen this? Heard about this? Apparently in 2025 joining the mile high club is just the plane making it a mile into the air 020
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 18/02/2025So many plane crashes lately you’d think the whole thing was invented by the Wrong Brothers 060
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 17/02/20259/11 could never happen in 2025. The planes would never fly far enough successfully without falling out of the sky 020
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 17/02/2025Had three different women try getting in the backseat of my car this weekend thinking I was this uber. Ted Bundy would have crushed 2025 000
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 16/02/2025My cousin got fired from Olive Garden for filming a porno inside the restaurant. When you are there you are NOT step family 010
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 15/02/2025Hello sharks, today I am asking for $500,000 for the safe return of all of your children 010
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 15/02/2025Bigfoot is blurry on camera because he’s covered in corporate logos 010
Reposted by @zachreinert.bsky.socialzachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 14/02/2025I want to get a tear drop tattoo by my eye, and then when people ask me who I killed I’m gonna be like “the tattoo artist”. I asked for my daughter’s name on my arm 001
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 14/02/2025I want to get a tear drop tattoo by my eye, and then when people ask me who I killed I’m gonna be like “the tattoo artist”. I asked for my daughter’s name on my arm 001
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 11/02/2025No child should ever have to bury a parent either. You’re going through trauma and someone at the cemetery gets paid to do that 010
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 11/02/2025The news is so depressing I think we should start calling it the noose 030
Reposted by @zachreinert.bsky.socialzachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 10/02/2025Nobody is more pissed about not winning the Super Bowl and getting to visit the White House than Harrison Butker 011
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 10/02/2025Nobody is more pissed about not winning the Super Bowl and getting to visit the White House than Harrison Butker 011
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 08/02/2025Why can’t John Fetterman just run an auto zone like he’s meant to 030
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 07/02/2025A January 6th rioter pardoned by Donald Trump was arrested on Wednesday for attempting to solicit sex with a minor. I mean what a genius, he commits the two crimes Trump is willing to pardon! 040
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 06/02/2025Donald Trump is destroying the the department of education but the second amendment got the lid of the jar loose so to speak 020
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 29/01/2025Doctors have warned RFK jr to never partake in marijuana because the worm in his brain could get the munchies and eat it even faster 010
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 29/01/2025Gulf of America instead of Mexico. Mt McKinley instead of Denali. Now I hear Barron Trump is even replacing the Statue of Liberty folks 010
Reposted by @zachreinert.bsky.socialFinally Some Bad News @finallysomebadnews.bsky.social · 29/01/2025New episode out everywhere you get podcasts! A MAGA nerd told us we lack "journalistic integrity." Give it a listen to decide for yourself 022
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 28/01/2025An Indiana man pardoned for January 6th was shot and killed during a traffic stop by a sheriff’s deputy. Just ask the buffalo bills, sometimes you also lose the rematches 000
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 25/01/2025ICE agents were forbidden from entering an elementary school in Chicago on Friday. Look I don’t like cops, but I do commend them for trying to further their education 062
Reposted by @zachreinert.bsky.socialPreston Tompkins @prestontompkins.bsky.social · 24/01/2025Listen to this podcast I host with @zachreinert.bsky.social where we tell Weekend Update style jokes 022
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 24/01/2025People who speed in the morning are the biggest losers on earth. Oh you want to get to your job faster? That’s so cool man 030
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 22/01/2025Excited to announce I’m launching my own coin off a skyscraper to see if it’s true it’ll kill someone 020
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 21/01/2025The idea of Pardoned January 6th guys being asked about the gap in their resume is very fun 040
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 21/01/2025Folks the country has gone so far to the right that even the Incredible Hulk has gone red 010
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 21/01/2025Getting your ass kicked as a notre dame player must feel a little extra bad because of all the Catholicism 030
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 20/01/2025A Pulitzer Prize winning cartoonist was arrested by the fbi for possession of child porn. That guy is screwed I heard Pulitzer Prize winners don’t do well in prison 120
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 20/01/2025Snoop Dogg performed at the Donald Trump inauguration crypto ball on Saturday. Look folks he may be a crip but he has no problem making blood money 051
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 19/01/2025The Trump inauguration on Monday which also happens to be Jeffrey Epstein’s birthday, is being moved indoors due to frigid cold temperatures, although I’m sure it’s not Epstein’s first birthday him and Donald spent together in the teens 030
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 18/01/2025Apparently Roseanne Barr is now going by the moniker Notorious BIG(OT) 010
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 17/01/2025Moving is the worst thing in the world especially to a different state so at least Catholic priests are getting some kind of punishment 030
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 27/12/2024Stereotypes are like mass graves because they’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together 020
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 27/12/2024I left my baby in a car with a great personality. It’s not as bad as in a hot car 020
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 23/12/2024A lot of people say Matt Gaetz is stupid but I don’t think that’s fair to Matt Gaetz considering he isn’t allowed near schools to get any smarter 151
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 19/12/2024Walmart employees are now wearing body cameras in some stores around the country but I bet they’ll be conveniently turned off when they’re slashing prices 041
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 16/12/2024“It’s wrong to glorify murder!” - a bunch of assholes who listen to true crime all day 050
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 15/12/2024Never bring a knife to a gunfight, unless you want to look like an arrogant prick 131
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 15/12/2024The wife of a Wisconsin man who faked his own death in a kayaking accident has filed for divorce. Now this time he really is up a creek with no paddle 151
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 14/12/2024The CIA let RFK jr live because he was the one Kennedy too dumb to care about 040
zachreinert.bsky.social @zachreinert.bsky.social · 13/12/2024The Santa Claus with Tim Allen is a heartwarming story about finding a dead body, stealing their identity, and using it to fix your relationship with your son 030
