iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

oh no he stinks, i just think a good QB would struggle in these conditions while simultaneously the run game is great and might make it not matter

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i’m not gonna try a joke but phonetically, invoking the word “saiyan” feels like something. idk have at it

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a pretty good jamal lord impression

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it’s kind of crazy that nico was able to bring the ethos of the 2024 vols with him to LA. can’t throw for shit and it’s not even entirely his fault!

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and also how this place has apparently remained publicly known to even non aggies fans 20 years after message boards ceased to exist outside of reddit

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kevin @xpensivedfstips.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

i don’t know what this means besides what elko said. i get it’s about a message board called texags. someone please let me know who billy is

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hell, i may see if you guys will publish some of my own thoughts that day

kevin @xpensivedfstips.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

33% water brought to a boil, 33% the packet of dust and 33% butter in my experience

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kevin @xpensivedfstips.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

high pointing a tshirt over a woman during the tshirt toss and telling her to get in the gym and then handing her the tshirt bc it’s my wife and i don’t want it

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kevin @xpensivedfstips.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

at a hawks game watching patrick kane’s homecoming and more offended by the other team’s rapist. hell of a feeling.

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kevin @xpensivedfstips.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

some mom and daughter walking past my house in october “oh, THERE’S beetlejuice” this is what home ownership is all about. stop eating avocado toast and buy a home. also make it beetlejuice centric

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kevin @xpensivedfstips.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

oh nvm youtube. but why is he on youtube rn

kevin @xpensivedfstips.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

is this televised or just for you

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kevin @xpensivedfstips.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

well first of all, all glory to god. and his family

kevin @xpensivedfstips.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

“what was the kyle orton era like?” basically this

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kevin @xpensivedfstips.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

one of the most bears game-ass bears games of all time

kevin @xpensivedfstips.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

oops forgot to keep tennessee . pretty good otherwise tho

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kevin @xpensivedfstips.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

22. smu 23. missouri 24. houston 25. penn state idk man shits tough!

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kevin @xpensivedfstips.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

finally an interesting week so i’ll try to guess the top 25 1. texas 2. uga 3. ND 4. miami 5. osu 6. bama 7. indiana 8. florida 9. byu 10. mississippi 11. lsu 12. texas tech 13. utah 14. iowa 15. oregon 16. mississippi state 17. usc 18. kentucky 19. oklahoma state 20. ucla 21. nebraska

kevin @xpensivedfstips.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

austin simmons jeri curl is peak SEC let’s go

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kevin @xpensivedfstips.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

i watch a lotta football and watched both of these dudes play in college and the nfl and in a million years i don’t think i’d ever think to compare anyone to either of these dudes let alone a mix of both . i say this as the highest of compliments

It was a pity rank and if i could take it back and give it to Hurts I would! Joe Burrow is the coolest fucking dude in the league and he looks like if Harry Styles smoked Marlboros and was down with Marxism.

1. Joe Burrow 2. Jalen Hurts I don’t know what to say. It is a crime that Jalen Hurts has finished 2 in consecutive lists but….i think the hairline went back a tick. This is the pain of the quadrennial split and my dumbass ranking Zach Wilson first because I knew he’d never get another starting job

This is how you draw up a future contender for number one but he just hasn’t hit his prime like our two heavyweights

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Bryce is maybe objectively better than Caleb but do you know how amazing it is to have a hot QB on my favorite team? The mustache makes him look like an 80s TV cop and shows off insane versatility, clean shaven, beard, mustache, he can do it all. Bryce ….the eyebrows, the facial hair, the hair.

Said glow up can only be rivaled by Josh Allen who lost his baby fat, got a new haircut and also married a hot famous lady. This is how to rank highly when the guy don’t the ranking is straight show me RECEIPTS

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TIER 2: extremely hot but unfortunately not the two fuckin models in tier 1. 3. Caleb Williams 4. Bryce Young 5. Justin Herbert 6. Josh Allen Herbert’s glow up is complete. He was a weird looking rookie with a lot of acne and now he’s married to a hot famous lady.

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know. He’s a good looking guy but I’d go back to the cool natural fro headband combo. Every woman told me Jayden is top 5 and every gay guy told me Brock is top 5 and this is me threading the needle between this being my list and deferring to people that are actually sexually atttacted to men

TIER 3: Kyler and then two guys I had to be told I had too low. 9. Kyler Murray 8. Jayden Daniels 7. Brock Purdy Kyler is another guy like Malik Willis who really can’t get his beard to connect properly to his mustache but decides to have the facial hair anyway and I sympathize more than you

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(Still technically the previous tier) 10. Tyler Shough I cant compliment his best features too much without invoking some dangerous ideas that were popularized in Europe in the late 1930s but uh….those are his strengths.

aren’t often for me but they helped give a little character. Goff is two face. I don’t know what he actually looks like. Cam fits perfectly at 16 bc he just looks like a guy.

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okay nah he’s pretty good looking. Baker has a year or two left of being able to pull off the fratty thing Stafford can’t. Dak….just looks older, the Kanye jaw cannot keep him top ten forever. Lamar rises a lot this year, I think I’m just more used to him or something? Braids and a goatee

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TIER 4: Pretty attractive but you’re not top ten so you don’t get a post all to yourself 11. Jordan Love 12. Baker Mayfield 13. Dak Prescott 14. Lamar Jackson 15. Jared Goff 16. Cam Ward Jordan Love looks like a guy who’d be on a dating show and I’d be like huh why and then slowly I’d be like oh

a bizarre inability to smile. And Geno is just an old guy who is neither a hall of famer nor a dork so he didn’t fit anywhere else.

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but cool braids. Trevor Lawrence looks like Saiorse Ronan and I just don’t know what to do with that info. Drake Maye feels like a prime Justin Herbert glow up candidate but for now he looks like a 15 year old president of the young republicans club. Stroud’s haircut improved his framing but he has

TIER 5: I have no idea how to order these and but they all have at least one thing going for them 17. Bo Nix 18. Malik Willis 19. Drake Maye 20. Trevor Lawrence 21. CJ Stroud 22. Geno Smith Bo has a hideous haircut but when I squint I think I see a nice face beneath it. Malik has a round face

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and in Rodgers case especially, fucking weirder. Stafford had frat boy charm but it just doesn’t work as an old guy

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TIER 6A: OLD FUTURE HALL OF FAMERS THAT HAVE CRACKED THE TOP TEN OF THIS RANKING BEFORE 23. Matthew Stafford 24. Patrick Mahomes 25. Aaron Rodgers Three of the ~10 best QBs to ever do it. Mahomes and Rodgers were always surviving in a non traditional manner but it worked til they got older

TIER 6B: OLD GUYS, DWEEB EDITION 26. Kirk Cousins 27. Daniel Jones The tier says it all. Kirk’s pointy nose and Flanders energy (Flanders, paradoxically, is hot) , DJs weird ears and long neck. They’re not unattractive, they just look like dorks.

TIER 7: TRYING TO BE NICE 28. Michael Penix 29. Jacoby Brissett 30. Sam Darnold Penix and Brissett are really good for tier 7. But Brissett does look like he’s 50 and Penix looks like Cookie Puss. Also Darnold is here. He won a Super Bowl so good for him.

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TIER 8: SEX OFFENDERS 31. Jameis Winston 32. Deshaun Watson order these however you want, but it is not hot to be accused of a sex crime. jameis somehow gets another chance at this list due to the seriousness of dart’s injury and he can celebrate his highest ever ranking!

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the moment has arrived. the quadrennial starting QB ranked by hotness! 2026 edition. more work went into this than ever before, multiple opinions were sought that contradicted my own. the NFL is in a solid place in terms of both QB talent, and QB talent….but also there are 2 sex offenders

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