iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

"Do you even know what "genderqueer" even is?..." My good whatsit, not only do I know what the term means, I made a double batch of it for dinner!!

000

Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 11h

Yeah. My problem is, if I did show my face, people would be asking for refunds without buying anything in the first place. 🤪😭

static.klipy.com

Rodney Dangerfield: Life Isn't Easy

Alt: Rodney Dangerfield: Life Isn't Easy

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Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 11h

Note to self: next time make sure to ask about the uncured bacon, not the "incurable" bacon. Things will go smoother.

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Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 11h

Let me know what you find out, because honestly, I'm kinda sick of doing everything the way I was sold on.

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Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 16h

Still disturbing. Just more acceptably so. The judges will allow it.

020

Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 16h

(wait, this would've been after the Crusades, wouldn't it? Shit. Screw it, I'm leaving it.)

000

Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 16h

Kill the Moors, or pose all sultry with a shield? Get you a man who can do both. ...LADIES...

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Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 16h

I'm pretty sure eating the crispy skin off of fried chicken still counts as eating chicken, Em. 🤪😁 Fuck. Now I want Popeyes.

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Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 16h

The shitty thing is, in its own way? This is unerringly consistent.

010

Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 16h

Wait... "Boobs consultant"... Huh. I'll be right back... I need to update my CV and job search. For... reasons.

010

Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 16h

This is disturbingly cannibalism-adjacent, and I'm a little worried that I can't really find a flaw in your argument.

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Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Submission is where the power sits. The sub gives the power willingly, and can rescind it if necessary. The Dom doesn't get to exploit that trust, or they're simply an abuser exploiting what they think is a loophole. In other words, PREACH AWAY.

011

Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

🎶 When the moon hits your toe, And you're misquoting Poe: Nevermoré...🎶

052

Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

NGL, I see shit like this, and it amused me, and then it makes me terrified that I'm never finding work again.

000

Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Definitely want to drill into those raccoon protocols... 🤪😂 Jesus. #AIHiring #FuckAI youtu.be/Kcp1VBaCvEY?...

youtu.be

I Answered Every Interview Question in Gibberish

YouTube video by Graham Dot Zip

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Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Your user name changed, right? My guess is that everything followed the name change but the database, and it's still got some of itself pointing at the old username, and it's fucking everything up DM-wise. Zero idea how you fix it though, which is... Not helpful, I know. 🤪 Ball's in their court.

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Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Jesus fucking christ in a canoe

030

Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

As someone who has done several business trips where I had to share a room with a co-worker: Oh, yes... yes you can.

static.klipy.com

Ryan Reynolds' Sneaky Grin

Alt: Ryan Reynolds' Sneaky Grin

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Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Crazy talk! Crazy talk, I say!

010

Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Obviously, Satan is an people-pleaser. Which means I might be Satan. Which would be kinda cool, honestly.

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Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Weirdly, I can get into the DMs if I go through your bio first, but not through the 'Chat' menu item. It shows our previous convos (both sides), but still says 'Deleted Account' at the top. Absolutely bulletproof coding, BSky people. Gud jorb.

100

Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

The number of "worm" and "must flow" puns that came to mind all at once caused me to have a small aneurysm.

010

Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

So insanely jealous of all of this. Glad it's been a good trip

010

Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

ł₮'₴-₳ ₥Ɇ, ₥₳ⱤłØ! ₱ⱠɆ₳₴Ɇ ₭łⱠⱠ-₳ ₥Ɇ...

010

Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

New dialogue tree choice just dropped: - "But AI is going to revolutionize everything!" -- "Go away, piss-drinker."

000

Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Six, if you know how to spread the resulting coals efficiently. I.... I've said too much.

020

Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

(NGL... The Hatgrill is kind of a baller idea)

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Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

The effects of abuse should expire when the perpetrators do. And yet, here we are. God I'm so tired.

010

Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I just... Jesus. I'm not going to pretend to understand what that was and is like, even having undergone my own SA and other abuse. 🫂🫂🫂

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Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I pulled it out of my mailbox and literally yelped "gah!"

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Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

If you're going to keep looking at me like you want to turn me into 265 pounds of hamburger, then no. No you really can't.

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Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

WE HAVE PLANS FOR YOU MONDAY AND WEDNESDAY, MYQ. BEEP BOOP. YOU WILL NOT BE AVAILABLE. BOOP BOOP BEEP.

010

Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

It's certainly worth testing out, at least. Several times. Just to clarify causation vs correlation. For science.

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Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Who said you were allowed to read my dream journal? Um. I mean... Uh... <I_Guess.gif>

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Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

This would be an amazing title for an Australian RPG about a cyberpunk literary editor.

020

Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Was getting something out of the front passenger seat of my car. Closing the door, it unexpectedly rakes across my chest. And in that moment, I had two realizations: - my proprioception is just absolutely shot today - in the words of Dr. Thaddeus Venture: I discovered my nipples work as a team

000

Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

"I meant hot. Like fire. They're practically interchangeable. You know: FIRE BAD!!" *GF backs away slowly...*

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Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I live, like, a mile from there. And had no idea it was happening. Sonofawhore... (But that is just a perfect spot for that. Holy crap.)

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Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

* (they're. Fucking autocorrect**) ** (By "autocorrect" I mean "my active inability to proofread a damned thing")

010

Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

He's so cool there gonna make a movie about him, and the premiere will be projected on that forehead.

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Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

The number of sharks that are now going to end up on your doorstep cannot be overstated.

000

Chris @xopherjohnson.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

This sounds like such a cool evening. Which cemetery was it? There are so many good ones in the city

100