iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 06/05/2026

Prediction: Donald Trump's face will replace the head of the bald eagle on all government heraldry or iconography or whatever they call that stuff.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

That or it's another skit and DJT just fumbled the blood capsule this time. At least I won't have to see tampons on half the ears in Congress again. Either way, I don't think any of that is illegal. At least not lately.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

Thoughts or prayers that the WHCD "pew pew" scare is some elaborate prediction market scheme, i.e. a Trump family member betting on an assassination attempt tonight, then sneaking in a handful of snappers, pop-its, or throw downs (in their butt?), before throwing jazz hands all the way to the bank.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 13/04/2026

Is this not what "scissoring" means?

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 02/04/2026

With everything going on right now, the Artemis II moon flyby feels like the part of the timeline where we accidentally destroy the moon.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 13/03/2026

The perfect gift for your MAGA friends or family: a pair of Florsheim Sorrento Cap Toe Oxfords, you probably can just guess the size

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 14/02/2026

Product idea: Invisalign with a decal of metal braces printed on them.

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Reposted by Robert Simmons

John Skiles Skinner @skiles.blue · 31/01/2026

A manual for ICE's immigrant-targeting computer system, Palantir ELITE, was leaked today. Let's look at it, then step back to evaluate how far we've come along a dangerous road and where that road might take us. 🧵

404media.co

Here is the User Guide for ELITE, the Tool Palantir Made for ICE

404 Media is publishing a version of the user guide for ELITE, which lets ICE bring up dossiers on individual people and provides a “confidence score” of their address.

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Reposted by Robert Simmons

Eliot Higgins @eliothiggins.bsky.social · 19/11/2025

Bellingcat’s contact email has always been a magnet for people with fairly unusual views; paranoid delusions, sprawling conspiracies, the works. But recently, the pattern has shifted, we’re seeing more and more emails clearly written with ChatGPT.

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Reposted by Robert Simmons

Geoff Bowser @geoffbowser.bsky.social · 26/10/2025

I made an image of all the art posted by US DOL on X since approximately Labor Day

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 11/10/2025

Prediction: Trump's Mideast peace plan will fall apart. Trump will blame the lack of recognition from the Nobel committee as the reason.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 07/10/2025

Much to my surprise, another telephone area code has covered my area for the past 12 years. You would think I would have noticed before now. Not that it matters. I know more IP addresses than phone numbers at this point. I can't remember the last time I talked on the phone.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 18/09/2025

Have you ever dried your hands using a continuous cloth roll towel? Seeing one of those on its third lap around made me advocate for air dryers briefly since they don't need to be restocked. Reading about how much bacteria they spray into the air ended it.

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Reposted by Robert Simmons

Mississippi Free Press @mississippifreepress.org · 31/08/2025

OPINION: "If interpretation is selective—focusing on opulence while minimizing suffering—tourism then becomes a force of historical distortion," Betsy Pudliner writes.

buff.ly

Opinion | The Uneasy Economics of Heritage in the American South

Betsy Pudliner writes on the ethics of monetizing history during a time when plantation tourism has become popular.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 17/08/2025

I can't help but read this in the voice of Nick Offerman.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 18/07/2025

Maybe I'm missing something, but I think a Venn diagram is the wrong visualization of this. It probably doesn't matter since most people will immediately get the joke. Perhaps a flowchart / decision tree? Never forget to always second guess yourself when considering including a Venn diagram

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 13/07/2025

Fingers crossed, I'll be able to stand up this Thanksgiving and say, "I'm thankful that him being a pedophile was finally too much for some people."

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 12/07/2025

Once the penny goes away the choice between nickels and dimes will be a tough one. I tell myself I can handle that many nickels, but truthfully I think I'd rather do the "march of dimes."

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 11/07/2025

Can you imagine the feeling someone will get fifty years from now when they find a roll of pennies? It's almost your duty to hide at least one roll somewhere, e.g. in your attic, buried in your yard, inside of one of your patients...

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 06/07/2025

Elon Musk uses backdoors into gov't systems to get everyone hired and screw what he refers to as "the man." You slap a celebrity voice onto a grok avatar (John Ratzenberger), it and Elon have deep or moronic conversations in which grok teaches Elon to be a real boy (ep. You Auto Complete Me).

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 05/07/2025

Party platform ideas: ban consumer fireworks.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 05/07/2025

Sitcom idea: the new ICE-stapo positions are filled by Medicaid recipients trying to meet their new work requirements. Hilarity ensues.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 02/07/2025

Product idea: in the event of a parent's death, deploy a bot to like all of their children's posts on social media.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 28/06/2025

The death of Fakespot may hurt more than the end of Google Reader.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 25/06/2025

The new flag design will gain the distinction of serving as an official national flag for the shortest duration in history, 11 hours and 27 minutes, after Trump gets a much cooler idea.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 25/06/2025

While he's poking around in the flag stuff, DJT will also update the pledge of allegiance to refer to the "great big beautiful flag, the one with the gun on it," just to avoid any confusion. State media will applaud the new flag design.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 25/06/2025

The new U.S. flag design will include 51 stars and the silhouette of an AR-15 because "it's really a helluva gun and a much better gun than the AK-47, which most people don't know is on the flags of some pretty nasty countries."

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 25/06/2025

Prediction: Trump's addition of a 51st U.S. state will require a flag redesign. DJT will handle it personally because he's always been a great lover of flags.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 07/06/2025

The AI prompt that rendered the movie "The Alto Knights" probably went something like this: Deniro and Pesci together again as 1950s New York crime bosses, like Casino, but I want Deniro to play both roles. You fill in the rest with some mob stuff.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 07/05/2025

I'm finally done filling out my fantasy papal conclave bracket. I'm all in on Pizzaballa becoming Pope Sixtus VI. I'm going to be rich, baby!

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 25/04/2025

Prediction: Jake Paul is this timeline's Dwayne Camacho.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 22/04/2025

Gemini derailed our little word game today by briefly insisting that "brainstorm" has 12 letters. But AI is notoriously 6 fingered to our 5-ish. Was this an AI jibe, implying I need my fingers to count so I couldn't possibly verify anything over 10!? This may be how the war starts.

gemini.google.com

‎Gemini - Word Length: "Aspirational" Count

Created with Gemini

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 05/04/2025

Pete Hegseth looks like he owns a Cobra Kai franchise.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 01/04/2025

Breaking prediction: Musk will cast all of his votes for the Vance/Trump ticket. When Vance refuses to step aside for Trump's third term, Musk introduces a $3.14 million bounty on the sitting president. SCOTUS finds no rule against it. Trump proclaims people are saying the bounty should be higher.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 01/04/2025

No rescue attempt is ever made.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 01/04/2025

With no proper puppetry equipment, Musk fashions crude marionettes from the corpses of his former crewmates and underlings. "Ground Control to Musk, Elon" is the most watched show in history and becomes the only official source of childhood education material in much of the southern United States.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 01/04/2025

Prediction: Elon Musk will be the only human inhabitant of Mars after the entire crew of the Memeflower (his super cool spaceship) died under mysterious circumstances. Stranded on Mars, Musk tries to connect with the children he left behind on Earth by producing his own educational children's show.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 30/03/2025

Prediction: Musk will expand "cash for progeny" programs & surpass Genghis Khan's genetic legacy. "Musk mouth" will be the new Habsburg jaw. The 13/37th compromise included in the new constitution allows parents to proxy vote for children age fetus to 17. Musk singlehandedly picks the next POTUS.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 29/03/2025

Prediction: DJT will be the first co-president to exercise the pre-pardon no-backsies with double super undo protection for life or longer. The pre-pardon will be issued for clone emperor DJT who is scheduled to win the next presidential election, brought to you by Brawndo, the thirst mutilator.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 29/03/2025

Prediction: stuff (including "things") will no longer be sealed for your protection. That's for pussies.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 21/03/2025

It's hard to deny the irresistible allure of Greenland.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 21/03/2025

The world just feels like we're living the backstory of a new Bond movie. Will SpaceX be launching rockets from the inside of a volcano or mine shaft to Musk's orbital HQ any time soon? That seems like a finale type of setting. It's all coming together.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 18/03/2025

I'm at least 5% sure that if the JFK assassination files are actually released they'll finally prove that crooked Joe Biden was the second shooter all along.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 17/03/2025

For sale: bovine stairs, never used.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 12/03/2025

Do away with party primaries and first past the post elections. Then maybe things won't have to go so wrong before dissent within the two camps is expressed or acknowledged.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 12/03/2025

Often I skip an electoral race because there's only one Republican on the ballot or I have to decide on the least Republican Republican. I vote for Democrats I'm not wild about. I know it's working as intended, but surely we can see the system is rigged.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 12/03/2025

I'm partial to a ranked choice ballot of some sort as it appears to increase the likelihood that I will have elected representation on some of the issues I find important. Right now my voice is drowned out from local to state to federal. The people I vote "for" are just not Republicans.

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Robert Simmons @wyscan.bsky.social · 12/03/2025

Is it the beginning of the end of the maga coalition? Until the next carnival comes to town, at least? And how can you possibly begin fixing things? I'd argue that the two party system being obliterated would be a good start.

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