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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 18/03/2026

On Radio 4 this morning - Matthew Syed's Sideways on complicated grief and forgiveness. The Hands of Forgiveness tells the story of a shooting at an Amish school, the response of the Amish community, and their care for the wife & family of the gunman. www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 14/03/2026

Sending love on Mothering Sunday to widows who didn’t get to be mums or who lost a partner who didn’t get to be a mum. Who are being mums, or both mums & dads, alone. Who are dealing with child or parent loss or estrangement as well as losing a partner. www.thewidowshandbook.com/home/motheri...

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 12/03/2026

I've found that the spoon theory works for grief. Early on in grief I was so tired that my bones hurt, which took away physical spoons. I also had widow brain, which took away mental spoons. And my number of spoons changed from day to day. www.thewidowshandbook.com/home/the-spo...

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 26/02/2026

For LGBT+ History Month (#LGBTplusHM), Jo Sedley-Burke & I chatted about the 1980s, the HIV/AIDS crisis, grief, queer widowhood & my book Dancing in Heaven, interspersed by the barks of my born-deaf show cocker spaniel. Hope you enjoy it as much as we did. www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9Xz...

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 24/02/2026

WAY Widowed and Young is celebrating LGBT+ History Month with a quiz celebrating the journey of the LGBTQIA+ community from the past to present day. It's open to all WAY members and supporters and there's a prize! #LGBTplusHM www.surveymonkey.com/r/S7HRDLM

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 23/02/2026

It’s 8 years tomorrow since Tim's death & the anniversary hits differently each year. Year 1 was raw. Year 4 a friend died & it brought it all back. Year 5, grief was a quiet companion rather than a bleeding wound. This year is unexpectedly hard www.thewidowshandbook.com/home/eight-y...

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 13/02/2026

It's Valentine's day tomorrow & that can be a tough day for a #widow. It can feel like everyone has a significant other when yours has gone. Even for those with a new partner, it can feel conflicting. Take very good care of yourself today and tomorrow. www.thewidowshandbook.com/home/valenti...

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 13/02/2026

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 12/02/2026

Sleep can be so hard for a #widow - your head is full of #grief, spinning thoughts and tough memories, and you may have nightmares. Here are some things that helped me www.thewidowshandbook.com/home/hints-a...

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 11/02/2026

WAY Widowed and Young's LGBTQIA+ Diversity Working Group is busy planning activities for LGBT+ History Month 2025. There's an LGBT+ History Quiz with a prize live now, open to WAY members and non-members. www.widowedandyoung.org.uk/get-support/...

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 07/02/2026

Thinking of all of you new widows. The early days are so exhausting. Sleep when you can. Eat what you can, when you can, and drink lots of water. One moment, one breath and one step at a time. #griefthreads

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 04/02/2026

Sending love to all of you who lost partners through cancer, today (and every day) www.thewidowshandbook.com/home/world-c...

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 02/02/2026

From #LGBTHistoryMonth 2025 - stories of queer #widows www.thewidowshandbook.com/home/lgbt-hi... #widow #grief

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 28/01/2026

One of the things I found after Tim died was how friendship groups shift. I’ve newly come across the concept of firefighters and builders. Sometimes these can be the same people, but often they are different. This idea helped me understand. www.thewidowshandbook.com/home/firefig... #widow #Grief

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 20/11/2025

I find the darkness of #winter hard to deal with, especially as it's the lead up to #milestones: Tim's birthday, #Christmas, #NewYear and then the anniversary of his death. Here are a few things that I have found helpful: www.thewidowshandbook.com/home/in-t… #grief #widow

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 20/11/2025

This is what I have been working on - Dancing in Heaven - celebrating the strength, #grief, anger, love & loss of the women who were there during the 1980s #HIV/AIDS crisis. See link for launches in London (1 Dec, #WorldAIDSDay) & Scarborough 6 Dec www.thehouseofcorrection.com/dancing-in-h...

Cover of a book called Dancing in Heaven, with an image of a nurse in a mask

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 09/09/2025

I have found that #grief really isn't linear - it's more like a pinball machine www.thewidowshandbook.com/home/models-... #widow

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 16/04/2025

Acting in amdram was never quite the same after Tim died but I've found a new role as props person #widow #amdram

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 24/02/2025

was in an odd mood last night. Scritchy. Irritable. I’ve been aware of Tim’s anniversary all month. The ‘this time that year’. It all builds into the run up to the 24th. Somehow, last night, I’d forgotten. But it seems my body hadn’t. #widow #grief www.thewidowshandbook.com/home/seven-y...

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 04/02/2025

#ValentinesDay is approaching & it can be tough when you are missing the person you used to celebrate it with. While you may not be able to completely get away from it, here's some ways you can make it easier. www.thewidowshandbook.com/home/valenti... #widow #grief

A red heart painted on paper. Paint is splashed around it and the heart is torn in two

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Seven Deadly Sins of #Widowhood: Greed part 2 (aka I would give it up in a heartbeat) There are people who believe that #widows live giddily on cashed-in life insurance. But we would rather have our person than all the cash in the world. www.thewidowshandbook.com/home/seven-d... #widow #Grief

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 13/01/2025

Seven Deadly Sins of Widowhood: Greed part 1 (aka no, I don't want to steal your husband) There's a myth that a #widow steals husbands. We don't. But sadly I know #widows who lost friends because of women withdrawing to 'protect' partners. www.thewidowshandbook.com/home/categor... #grief

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 13/01/2025

The #grief and #widow community has helped me repair my heart. I still show the scars and the stitches, but the support makes me stronger. 'Repairing Hearts' - 1900 Artist - Charles H Geilfus (1856-1914)

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 12/01/2025

Seven Deadly Sins of Widowhood: Wrath (aka I am so bloody angry) I wasn't brought up to be angry. I was brought up not to raise my voice. But when my husband died, I was angry, in a way that I hadn't ever been angry before. www.thewidowshandbook.com/home/seven-d... #widow #grief

Image of the sheet music for the rhyme 'what are little girls made of', with this text below:

As widows we're not allowed to be angry by wider society. Weeping? Yes. Screaming obscenities into the void while punching things? Apparently, no.

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 11/01/2025

Seven Deadly Sins of #Widowhood: Envy (aka I want to be happy for you, but...) We love our friends and we want the best for them. But it can be really hard to see them have the things we wanted or planned before we were widowed. www.thewidowshandbook.com/home/i-want-... #widow #grief

Abstract image of a person holding a green heart

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 10/01/2025

Thank you to WAY Widowed & Young for sharing The Widow's Handbook tips for winter www.widowedandyoung.org.uk/news/tips-fo... #widow #grief

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 10/01/2025

Last year I wrote a sequence called The Seven Deadly Sins of #Widowhood - here's Lust (aka #WidowsFire www.thewidowshandbook.com/home/widows-... #widow #grief

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 06/01/2025

The house can seem dark and quiet after the tree and the decorations come down - these are some of the things I've done to make the winter seem less dark #widow #winter www.thewidowshandbook.com/home/in-the-...

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 10/12/2024

Every December there are posts talking about the new year. For new widows this means moving from 'they died this year' to 'they died last year'. For those widowed longer, it can feel like their person is moving further into the past. www.thewidowshandbook.com/home/a-new-y... #widow #grief

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 09/12/2024

My #healthanxiety spiked after Tim's sudden death, but not for me, for others. It has been bad over the last couple of weeks as someone very close to me has had a health scare. It's hard not to catastrophise when you have lost someone close. #grief #widow www.thewidowshandbook.com/home/health-...

Woman sitting on the floor with her head on her knees

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 09/12/2024

When Tim died so suddenly, I had flashbacks & thoughts spinning uncontrollably. Sometimes just saying 'I am Suzanne, and I am here in my living room' helped. Sometimes I needed more, and these grounding techniques helped. www.thewidowshandbook.com/home/groundi...

Five things you see (or imagine)
Four things you hear
Three things you touch
Two things you smell
One thing you taste

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 01/12/2024

Happy birthday Tim. Remember you for always.

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 21/11/2024

#Christmas can be a challenge when you are #widowed. Here's a great infographic from Refuge in Grief and a piece I wrote with hints and tips for getting through www.thewidowshandbook.com/home/survivi... #widow #grief

Ways to survive the holiday season when you are grieving
Travel - go somewhere new
Look for small moments of comfort
Get out in Nature
Volunteer
Give grief a place at the table
Wear headphones to avoid holiday music
Have an exit plan for parties
Aim for peace rather than joy
Include them in your rituals
Connect with other grieving people
Find a place to be sad
Spend quiet time with friends
Ignore the holidays
Do what feels right for you

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 14/11/2024

The stages of #grief were created for dying people, not for those left behind. www.thewidowshandbook.com/home/models-... Grief is more like this

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 14/11/2024

My stages of grief were much more like this

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The Widow's Handbook @widowshandbook.bsky.social · 14/11/2024

And the stages of grief were created for dying people, not us left behind. My grief stages are much more like this

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